Sunday Stroke Survival: Decision Making Process Post Stroke

 Some cognitive decline is expected after a stroke. While I had little difficulty with prioritizing tasks that need to be done. When faced with tasks that need to be done while my foot and AFO impairs me is a different story. It just takes one more thing to upset the apple cart, now I have two- healing broken bones and increased spasticity. 

I know before getting up I have to put my AFO on first or I'll fall with the first step I take with my affected leg. The spasticity has gotten really bad since I was unable to get my scheduled round of Botox injections in June. My foot arches downward and inward. You'd think I'd be able to walk on my tip toes, wouldn't you? But no, the inward rotation increases with weight bearing so it would be foolhardy to do so because the foot would roll farther inward. Not to mention when it does a hard spasm on top of the spasticity the shoe and brace have to come off or more bones will break. There's no denying the spasms nor controlling them. Unfortunately, it will get worse before I can get into the neurologist for my injections. 

After I prepare dinner each night, I usually get a hard spasm in my foot and ankle. Most of the times, my daughter (unless she's working late) will come in and put the finishing touches and serve the plate while I'll painfully hobble to my chair, take off my shoe, and AFO, massage and prop my foot up. It's that last half an hour of standing and moving that gets me. It's now to the point of almost an hour before I can don my brace and walk again albeit with a manageable amount of pain, instead of two hours of spasms like it will be. I can at least get to the bathroom and back again. This is how I'm managing my day now. Fifteen to twenty-five minutes of activity to an hour rest, but I am doing. I can no longer wear my new AFO with the spasticity so high. I'm stuck in my old AFO that allows for the swelling and the spasticity, and the straps need to be replaced. Come on PCP so I can get an appointment with a brace maker!

Wednesday night, I was just finishing up dinner when a spasm hit as usual. Nothing spectacular, just my butter fried chicken (my mother's recipe), boiled potatoes with herbed butter and corn on the cob. I called for my daughter to help. She drained the potatoes and tossed them in the herbed butter. She prepared the plates and brought me one at my dining room dinette before taking two plates to her husband and her into the main dining room of the house. I do so miss eating at the big table  with family. It'll be better when my granddaughter comes home from the west coast next month. She's my cook's helper. She's becoming quite a cook.

About an hour later, the rain started. The skylight in the kitchen started dripping. I hadn't put the pitcher down before because it wasn't raining. I shrugged off the sweater I'd donned. I'm just not used to air conditioning anymore. My daughter keeps the thermostat at 68℉ which is a little chilly to me since my blood pressure and pulse rate took a nose dive after my Baclofen removal surgery in 2019. That's even with the meds to raise both. *I digressed, sorry* I donned my AFO and headed to the kitchen. The pain was manageable as I hobbled across the distance. I grabbed a couple of paper towels to wipe up the water and placed the pitcher on the floor to catch additional drips. Come on two days in a row without rain so my son-in-law can recaulk the skylight and have it cure!

Of course with the dripping sound of water, the urge to pee hit me. There was no way I'd make the thirty odd steps to the bathroom. I'd just have to gush into my pad. Then, I noticed that my daughter had not put the extra fried chicken away. A quick reach under the sink to get a container so I could make chicken salad for the kids' trip out of town. I had bought croissants for the sandwiches. Just the thought of buying them still irks me, but some things just have the wait until I'm back up on my feet again. The gush had bought me some time. Another gush on the way and I was sitting on the commode.

Relieved, I hobbled back into the kitchen to run a sink of washing water in the sink. I was putting the last dirty pot in the sink when a twinge just above the ankle told me it was time to take a load off so I grabbed what little bit of trash there was to throw it in the trash can as I went. I hobbled back to my chair. The dishes would wait until the morning. I'd noticed that my bathroom trashcan was full but I'd save that chore the next time I'm up and so it goes. It's a good thing I can see a sequence of events when needed/

Prioritizing tasks has been my blessing living post stroke. It doesn't always go as smoothly as this, I wish it did. There are still times, after nine years of living post stroke, I forget to don my AFO first before getting up. All it takes is standing up to realize my mistake. Luckily, I haven't fallen in my hast of having to pee. Or, have to back track to get things done. It is what it is.

In other matters, I started a new blog. It's focus is on senior living self reliance and how tos from a disabled view point. I'll eventually start a YouTube channel along the same lines. Just because you are older, single, disabled, and living the senior living community life style doesn't mean you can't help yourself along the way. You ain't dead yet! You can find it here.

Nothing is impossible. 

Sunday Stroke Survival: Settling Into My New Place

 My mother-in-law apartment is huge! Sleeping in my old bed wasn't bad as I thought it would be. It took some adjusting though. I mention to daughter #3 on the phone, the night before I moved in, that it was difficult to get out of so she raised the whole bed on blocks and added another box spring to the mix. Well standing beside the bed the top of the mattress came to my waist! She meant well. Her husband, as tired as he was, lifted the bed and while she knocked the blocks off the  legs. That made the bed better. It only took a little hop to get on the bed. He ended up removing the extra box spring too undoing all of daughter #3's "helpfulness." The new box spring and mattress was higher than my own. So it's a bit higher than my old set. Still lower than ideal but I can live with it.

All my things are about me and fit the space perfectly. I do have to get some shelving units for the canning stuff. I still haven't decided which spare room I'll make into the larder. but for now it's all stacked neatly into one corner of my dining room. Actually, I could convert that whole corner into a larder. There's several empty boo shelves in here that could easily work to that end. I could fashion curtains to block the light.

I've even found a gardening spot for vegetables and space for the herbs that I brought with me! The whole back of the property is   overgrown badly. The herbs that I brought with me will be planted in the flower beds along the front walk. There's a 30'x50' (that's 10- 50' rows) on my side of the side yard that will be perfect for vegetables, I'll implement the Ruth Stout method and just cover the area with cardboard and thick layers of hay all that gras wi;; become a compost to feed the vegetables. It might be late in the season for planting, but hey this is Savannah, you can garden ten months out of a year here. It won't get cold here until December or January. But, I've had it trying to second guess Mother Nature. I can remember dressing my ids in tank tops and shorts on Christmas Eve. I still may get some home grown goodness yet. There's a double gate by the trash can so unloading it all will be a breeze.

I'll have to talk to daughter #3's husband first because he'll have to do all the heavy lifting of the compost bags and hay bales. I can spread it all out myself. I do not have a garden cart here, I'm going to miss it.  I'll need more cardboard boxes too. So many little things are needed, but that's my one handed life. The beautiful parts of using the side yard is it out my door and hang a right, and then there it is. It's a short walk to the outside shed too. What's in there is a mystery but I do know the grandmother was an avid gardener.

She'd be so angry about the way the landscaping has not been kept up, but at 92, it might not matter to her now. I'll have to price a landscaper to see about all the over grown hedges and stuff. There's no way daughter #3's husband or my daughter can do it all with their work schedules. They aren't really green thumb type folks. I sure can't. There's a ton of knee high pine trees and brambles out there.

I spoke to the son-in-law, and his plan was to demolish the back swimming pool and deck area during the summer months. He also sees the need of producing our own food. He has been a city dweller all his life so he'll need some guidance. There is plenty of roof line for water harvesting for the garden beds. Currently it's all running into the sewer. What a waste! Even if we have to move from this property, the "improvements can move with them onto the new property.

He mentioned leaving the Oleander in place as a privacy screen, I said cut it down. Oleander, while beautiful, is poisonous to humans and critters. We could plant blueberry bushes along the back fence instead. We'd have the privacy restored and enjoy the berries for years to come. And come to find out, his grandmother planted an herb garden. It's very badly neglected. But, I was able to salvage a few od the herbs.

I found a tree company that will deliver wood chips by the dump truck load for free! So starting a compost pile and garden beds will be cheaper. Now if I can the county composting site, I'll be in hog heaven and my gardens building will be complete minus some minerals. Now, if I can just get my fifteen year old granddaughter excited about the prospects of gardening...I don't believe that will happen though. Although, she admitted a desire to learn alternative uses of herbs and preserving the harvest. So that's a start. 

I've cooked two meals this week. The leftover meats from the shoulder pork roast will become shredded. BBQ sandwiches later in the month. The leftover beef pot roast will become roast beef hash to serve over rive. I'm still having to adjust serving size because now I'm cooking for 4 instead of 2. I founds our old dump cart that I had loaded with jars had made the trip to Savannah with me. It will eventually have to be returned to Mel. But in the meantime, it will help me set up this garden.

I found out from my podiatrist. two days before I left the mountains that I have three more stress fractures in my AFO clad foot. So I'm back to swapping out AFOs and shoes again. The swelling in the foot becomes too bad for me to wear my shoe very long or stand more than a dew hours at a time without elevating it and getting off it. SIGH! There's nothing wrong with the AFO. It's my bones that are the problem. They just aren't back to normal yet. All the chemo and radiation has done a number on my bone density. Even with a 1200 mg calcium plus D3 taken daily and the Vitamin D3 (50,000 unit capsules) taken weekly, it will take months to recover normal density back. In the meantime, small bones like in my feet will break. Right now, my bone density loos like the bottom right in my smaller bones and right upper in my major bones which is why I'm getting the stress fractures, but I gotta walk. God is still working on my patience issues. SIGH!

Nothing is impossible.

Sunday Stroke Survival: It Works!

 When I walked into my Hanger appointment carrying my new AFO, the tech visibly girded her loin expecting a slew of complaints. She was pleasantly surprised to learn it was unnecessary. I told her the problem and she was relieved greatly.

My little nit picking problems were addressed and fixed and I was out of the office wearing my new AFO and a smile on my face in under an hour unlike previous appointments that last 2 or 3 hours. It only took them six years to produce a working AFO for me. 

I'm up to wearing this new AFO for six hours off and on so far with no issues other than my foot swelling. It swells in part because of the stress fracture that refuses to heal and my heart issues. Neither cause has anything to do with the brace itself.

Mt Emey Comfort walking shoe

I'm loving my new shoes too. Especially since I can now wear two of them again. The knobby soles allow me to walk without slipping and sliding even on inclines while the new AFO  straightens my foot with less than a 10° inversion. I feel more confident walking. I'm once again walking without watching my feet with every step. It's amazing how comfortable they are. I'm more sure footed. Of course, the bad habits of watching my feet and walking hunched over are two habits I'll have to work on to break again.

I opted for elastic laces to replace the cloth ones. I actually the chore of tying my shoes every time they have to be loosened or come untied got old fast. The left shoe (unaffected foot)is looser than the right so kicking the shoe off with it being tied was easy. It's only 1 1/2 sizes too big for my foot and twice the wide of my foot in order to fit my AFO clad foot on my right affected side. But you can't order two different sized shoes at a time. I wish. Some sacrifices have to be made walking post stroke. Now both shoes can be slipped on and off with ease and I don't have to bother with any shoe tying. I'm just that glad to be away from Velcro shoes.

At $129 a pop it's a good thing they only come in one color because I'd go into debt buying them out of pocket buying multiple pairs of this shoe. They are that comfortable and utilitarian for my lifestyle. It feels so good to walk and feel secure and not be in pain while doing it! I even did my post stroke version of an Irish jig after I got every thing in place again.

I'm back to collecting eggs and starting plants for the garden. Next month is planting season for our 1/2 acre garden and orchard and now I'm chomping at the bit to get at it again. It's hard not to get too excited and over doing. I'm still taking it slow getting the breaking in of the new shoes and AFO. I'm still trouble shooting and watching for new pressure sores. Blisters are bad enough. I want to nip them in the buds before they get worse and lay me up again.

While I'm in a holding pattern for moving, I still got to eat, right? The plan is to split whatever is put up between the two of us when I move. I'm still set on moving into a senior housing in south Georgia. It will be nice living in a community again although I'll miss the fresh eggs and chickens... well sort of miss the chickens. 😂

Nothing is impossible.

Sunday Stroke Survival: My Leg Post Stroke

 My whirlwind of doctor visits has came to an end last week. Now, I'm just waiting on tomorrow to get into Hanger to get my newest AFO fixed. I had my botox injections last week and they are starting to kick in. Woohoo!  It's so nice to be able to move my shoulder without the muscles contracting to the point of pain. Even my ankle is looser so there is less pain where the pressure sore was forming again on my right side of my foot from wearing AFO #3. It was the usual place that has been erupting and healing for nine years. The initial pressure sore was the size of a thumb nail (a nickel). With each eruption, the area gets larger and it's now the size bigger than a half dollar on my size 6 foot. I've officially lost count of how many I've had in the same area over the years.

I've always thought of my calves and feet as one of my best features. Not anymore. My right, affected, calf has shrunk with atrophy and has definite, deep indentions where the three straps have worn into the tissue after nine years of wearing AFOs. I have developed a nail fungus on my big toes so they are thick and grayish now. The AFO strap to control my toes with the spasticity has warped my toes. They are twisted with a definite lean to the right to combat my inversion. I have developed calluses where before I had none. I grimace when applying lotion each night. I hate taking my AFO and sock off at the podiatrist's office and at therapy. It's bad enough I have to see the price I pay to walk living post stroke. It hurts my pride. I know pride is one of the seven deadly sins, but still, but I'm still female. I might never have been a raging beauty, but I had shapely calves and feet. Well, I still do on my left leg. I guess I should be thankful.

This is a disturbing fact that other stroke survivors don't talk about. Or at least, I haven't read or heard about it. Is it just me? I'm beginning to wonder. Maybe others are so grateful about being able to walk post stroke that they are not concerned about it. I'd take a picture and show you, but I'm sickened enough by the state my leg is in. I don't want to sicken y'all too. I've been praying for God to take this heartbreaking burden from me.

It's official. I've put my name on two waiting lists for senior living apartments back home in south Georgia. It's looking like six months to a year until my name reaches the top. After speaking with a counselor, I'm still too independently able not require assisted living facility yet. 

After getting the county ambulance bill for helping me get up off the floor the when I was released from the hospital after my T-CAR procedure, I decided to check on the pendant assistance services (medical alert). They are actually pretty reasonable ($19-$36 a month). It sure beats the $400 bill for the ambulance for one fall. I want to wait a month or two to see how much therapy can restore my balance first before adding another bill into the mix.

Getting older and being disabled is so-o-o much fun! Yes, that was facetious remark. Every day I search for things to be thankful for and most times... I succeed. But you couldn't tell it from this post.

Nothing is impossible.

The Spasticity Won

 I spoke too soon last week when touting the laurels on my newest AFO. It worked as advertised. Finally! It needed some tweaking, but that wasn't unexpected. A nonslip pad needs to be placed on the heel, the bottom strap (across my toes) to hook tape half of the closure was too long, the and something about the top strap was causing shin pain. The shin pain is alleviated by loosening the strap just a hair. The nonslip pad on the heel enables me to walk to the bathroom without having to wear a shoe without slipping. For me, this is very important to keep me from peeing the bed. I flood the pad otherwise. Just putting on the AFO is pushing the limit. Nothing seriously wrong with this AFO. No undue pressure anywhere, my foot was almost straight, and I could walk without constantly watching my foot placement. In other words, it worked like it was supposed to unlike the other four AFOs they tried to fit me with.

The AFO worked so well that my PT mentioned starting balance training after I come back to therapy after the new series of Botox kicks in about the second week in March. To save rehab hours, we suspend treatments and stretches until then. The pain in between is only about a 5 or 6 so it's manageable. Unlike before when I hit 8 or 9 between sessions.

That lasted for almost a week. I felt confident enough to fill a 55-gallon trash can with kindling. Not only that, but I dragged the filled container up the ramp and into the back porch. Between my AFO woes and my T-CAR procedure, it had been over a month since I felt like I could do that. I got up one morning at 4 AM and had to pee very bad. I donned my AFO over my socks and headed to the bathroom ten steps away. I just barely made it. It took a minimal clean up. I noticed my AFO strap was kind of wonky. It still held me up, but it wasn't right. While seated on the toilet, I tried to correct it when I noticed the problem. The fuzzy side that was supposed to be fastened onto the plastic side of the AFO was still attached to the strap. I half-assed affixed it back into position and hobbled back to the bedroom where my old (#3) AFO was. I sat on my desk chair and tried to no avail attempt to fix my new AFO. 

I ended up telling and giving it to Mel to try with some Gorilla glue later. After she got the old adhesive off the piece of Velcro and the AFO, she was ready to try and fix it. EXCEPT her cat found that small piece of Velcro was something neat to play with while Mel scrubbed the adhesive off the AFO! When Mel returned to the table, it was gone! Her cat had gone outside. So much for a quick fix.

My Hanger rep had the foresight of scheduling a follow up appointment so I'll have to wait another two weeks before I can get it fixed. HARUMPH! I'm not a happy camper, but at least I won't have to wait a month and all my issues will be taken care of. I actually got to wear the same shoes for almost a week and I'll get it fixed in time to do my physical therapy again.  And, in this instance the spasticity won.

Nothing is impossible.

Sunday Stroke Survival: I Got It!

 

Well, Hanger finally called!! My new AFO was waiting for me. I had the appointment on Monday. It's pretty and white for now. When I look at the two, I have my old one AFO #3, the old one is badly discolored, the straps are dirty and fraying, and it's badly in need of some new straps. I'm going to hold off on that until after the break-in period for this new one. 

"Please God, let this new AFO not cause new pressure sores nor break the bones in my foot. Let it work as its suppose to. Amen!"

I can actually wear two of the same shoes again. So far, I'm up to four hours wearing the new one, four hours with the old one, and then back again. No complaints as of yet. It took wearing the other new AFO for eight hours before it broke a bone in my foot so I'm crossing my fingers it won't happen again. Maybe, just maybe, Hanger in northeast Georgia may finally have built as AFO that doesn't cause me problems and let me get on with my life.

I currently am doing no therapy with my leg because of the mismatched shoes, a broken foot,  and my AFO issues. I'm hoping that will change and I'll be able to start on it. 

My balance is horrible! I'm having to use my cane outside again. In fact, it's my shadow again. I'm having to touch furniture to correct my balance issues inside and I'm having to look at my feet with every step. I'm hunched over like an old woman now with very poor posture. It's really killing my back. At my current rate of falls for my therapist, she calculated and extended it to... 48 falls a year! That's scary because these are actual falls that I'm unable to catch myself. These bad habits will have to be broken again once I feel more secure in walking again. I'm looking forward to that.

All of this remains to be seen. I'll give it until my birthday in April before I decide to go with the new orthotics place, if it doesn't work.

Nothing is impossible.  

Sunday Stroke Survival: Waiting and Waiting Again

 

I'm aggravated. I often joke how God let my stroke happen to teach me patience, but no matter how true that statement is, it's still a work in progress for me almost 9 years later. I'm still waiting on Hanger to get back to me with news on my AFO. I'm hobbling around in my ill fitted brace and a broken foot. I can't stand longer than thirty minutes without the swelling of my foot to be unbearably painful. I can only walk short distances (50 ft) because the articulating ankle and the huge (2") girth distance my leg and the brace causes my foot and leg to rotate within the brace aggravating my pressure sore on the bottom of my foot again. 

Luckily it's winter and it's basically our "down time" for the homestead. So I don't have to tend a garden, critters, nor orchard. This will change in two months. I've called and left message to no call backs or been told "No news yet." 

Meanwhile, my Botox is wearing down so my therapist is getting less extension and having to work harder to get it. Even with dry needling, there's less carryover effects. But this doom and gloom report will be over with come the second week in March when I get the new series of Botox injections (plus a week before it kicks in). The good news is that they haven't had to go up on the dose yet. I've still got some range of motion in my shoulder so my pain levels are manageable. I truly wish my Baclofen pump hadn't been removed and COVID had never happened to delay my getting a new one (as do a lot of folks).

Do I sound whiny or have I just been on the pity pot too long this week? I'm just tired of waiting. I've tried being patient, but now the little stuff is starting to aggravate me. I have succeeded in not sweating the little stuff. Knowing it's ALL little stuff in the grand scheme of things. Except for this week. I see myself slipping back to my old ways of thinking (back when I was an alcoholic and junkie). It's a dangerous time for me and my sobriety I know this but have not been able to snap myself out of it. Maybe, this coupling with Valentine's day compounds my inability to cope. You see, thirty years ago my beloved asked me to share his life with with him on this day has something to do with it too. I'm just in a fragile state right now.

So pray for me for the next couple weeks if you can. I've never asked this of anyone before even though I know they do. And, thank you in advance.

Nothing is impossible.

Sunday Stroke Survival: So I'm Hobbling Around the Homestead...

 in an ill fitting AFO, mismatched shoes, and a broken foot picking up kindling for the wood stove. I'm dragging the 55-gallon trashcan (1 of 3) behind me. No word yet on when I get the new one. I'm making my way towards one of six brush piles we make during the year. I know by the end of winter that four of these piles will be empty, all the leaves will have decomposed and fresh compost will be ready to fertilize the garden, before renewing another brush pile on top. When you live on two acres of heavily treed land, there's no shortage of twigs and branches (and even trees) that fall or are cut down during the year.

We have no shortage of various sized kindling to burn each winter. We strategically placed each pile no more than 10' from the house so they are easy to get to. We've placed firewood stations 5' from either the front or back doors of the house. Each will hold two cords of split firewood. We've rarely gone through four cords of firewood a winter. Kindling is any branch under two inches in diameter. I can easily snap up to 1 1/2" diameter branches under my affected arm. Up to 2" diameter branches by stomping on it with my unaffected foot. I can bench press 100 lbs with my unaffected foot and 40 lbs with my affected foot so long as I can hold onto something for balance.          ** Looks can be deceiving. This pile is 5' tall and 9-10' wide.

My method of picking up kindling is different than my able-bodied roommate. I'll break the twigs and branches into 1' sections before I put it in the can. Mel puts lengths up to 5' into the can to be broken up as she needs it. If I had use of both hands and both legs, I could get away with doing it too, but I don't. Plus, I don't end up with a lot of pieces that I can't break that has to be carried out for the saw to cut. I simply put these pieces over by the saw in a pile unto themselves. To me, it's less steps over all, but that's just me.

There's a method to our madness when it comes to these piles. 

• By sorting fallen branches this way, the home place looks fairly kept up during the year.
• By strategically placement of these piles, they are easy to get to.
• There is good air flow between the branches so they dry quicker... even after a rain storm.
• You can easily fill 55-gallon trashcans with kindling. A kind of one-stop-shopping.
• We can easily pick and choose from a variety of sizes.
• It's a year long compost pile in the making with addition of new branches after every storm.
• Loads of fresh composted fertilizer each spring to replenish garden beds.

Yes, it far easier to grab twigs and branches from piles than walking the whole two acres and search for them each winter. I'm so glad I thought of this evolution after the first winter I was here. When Mel has the time to spare, she'll break out her electric chain saw and chop the 3" or larger branches into 18" lengths and this is our firewood for late spring and early fall burning. Any branches or small trees over 6" in diameter gets stacked towards next year's firewood needs into a fourth firewood rack. She'll whittle away at the longer branches bit by bit as she gets time.

I'm still trying to configure a harness to help hold the chainsaw steady for me to use one handed. Until then, a chop saw works well. I use multiple clamps to help stabilize the branches as I cut. One way or another things get done before we need to use them. 

Nothing is impossible.

     

Recovered, Finally!! Sort of

 It's been a long slow recovery from my T-CAR procedure. But I can finally say that I'm over the hump towards recovered from my procedure. It took the better part of two weeks to get my stamina back. I've just been recasted for my EIGHTH AFO in almost 9 years after the newest one broke bones in my foot again! SIGH! If I didn't need it to walk, I'd give up. So I', back wearing only my old (3rd AFO) again with no shoe. When I wear a shoe, my foot swells horrendously.

Interestingly enough, I got notification from Medicare that they have denied payment for that last AFO and Hanger can't bill me. So it should prove interesting how long they will work for free. Although they assure me they will make it right. No news yet on this newest casting payment. I knew it would happen eventually. So further treatments and adjustments are up in the air for now. I'm not trying to be unreasonable here. I just want to be able to walk post stroke without pain, pressure sores, nor broken bones. Is that too much to ask for? 

I'm so sick and tired of hearing every stroke is different and spasticity is an ongoing complication that I'm about to scream "Cop out." You know what the problem is. There's nothing new about it. Just fix the problem. I know I'm not the first. I surely won't be the last. Sure, I would make it easier on everyone except me and just stay in a wheelchair, but I refuse!

For the past month, I've seriously been considering a nursing home placement for me. But I'm too mentally aware for that. I've considered assisted living too. It would take every penny I get, and then some. I'm just at the point where, even with a roommate, I no longer feel able to live by myself. Yes, I've even looked into a senior living type housing. I'm tired of ending up on the floor and waiting for help. Of course a properly fitted AFO would go a long way in fixing this problem too. The waiting lists for these other options are long.

Does it sound like I'm frustrated?/ I am. It would mean leaving the lifestyle I love behind and preparing to die. Or at least that's how I see it. Am I really ready for that? No, not really. I still think of myself as young-ish and full of life. There are still things I want to accomplish in this life. I just have a body that's defunct. In reality, I've had a body that's defunct since I was 26 years old, but I've kept going and doing. I just know that if I'm going to continue living this lifestyle, I need a break for the good.

I told Hanger that they had this one final opportunity to make my AFO right. I've been more than patent. I've given them the seven years I've been here to fix my AFO issues to no avail and I'm still using the articulating, ill-fitting AFO that I started with. Now, that Alliance has opened up shop, I'll be going there next. I've heard nothing but praises for the tech over there. I have nothing to lose either.

Nothing is impossible.

Sunday Stroke Survival: 2020 Wrap Up and What's to Come

Oops I missed posting last week.

I hope everyone had a good Christmas holiday.  It's that time of year again for reviewing the past year and figuring out what's the plan for 2021.

In 2020 review...

I finished my cancer treatments with a clean bill of health!!!

Last year really flew by with only a couple events of any real, personal interesting points.  I got infected by COVID-19 way back in February and I didn't realize it until much later. The end of January, Mel got sick with a fairly high fever, horrendous cough, and moderate difficulty breathing. With no medical insurance, she fought me on going to the hospital, but I finally (after 3 days) won the argument. The doctor at first, thought it might  the flu, but ruled it out fairly quickly. They wanted to admit her, but she refused. They didn't know what her problem medically was. I brought her home and treated her the best I could homeopathically with herbs and immuno-boosters I grow here. I warned her that if her fever went above 103°F and if she did not respond to me she was going right back to the hospital. It didn't happen. Eventually, her fever broke and she got better except for a cough and loss of stamina which lasted for months.  As an after effect she now becomes short of breath and has a heart condition.

The first part of February, it was my turn. Even though I'd wash my hands and wore a mas while treating her, I got sick though not as bad. I felt like I was going to cough up pieces of lung tissue at any moment (I didn't), had a medium grade fever (100°- 101°), and was shorter of breathe. It lasted about two weeks. I had lost my sense of taste and smell  (I still moderately suffer with this). I did touch bases with my PCP, but didn't go in. His instructions were the standard- control the fever, push fluids, and rest. If it got any worse to go to the ER. So that's what I did. 

We didn't hear about COVID until March with the rest of the country. We figured that's what we had been fighting. An antibody test shoes I had it. We were luckier than others with this virus. It was no worse than a very bad cold or brush with the flu.

I had a T-car procedure done on my left cardioid artery. Uneventful, but now have to do the right one done Jan 5th 2021.

I started Botox again for my post stroke(s) spasticity. With Emory in and out of locked down mode for nonessential surgeries, it was looking like summer of 2021  before I could have another baclofen pump implanted. So far, my body's response to doing Botox again has been good.

After the first series of 400 units, I was almost able to straighten my arm to full extension and raise it above my head. Which is way better than the 6" I'm able to move it without the injections. I could shave my underarm with ease!  The gain gradually reduced over time and by Thanksgiving the pain of my entrapped shoulder and bicep returned but I was scheduled for more Botox the first week in December. So it was manageable and short lived. I'm in physical therapy again.

I got another AFO and new shoes. The AFO still needs work. I've formed new pressure sores above my ankle and at the first metatarsal (at the base of my big toe). Oi Vey! So far though, no reoccurrence of the pressure sore in the spot that has plagued me for eight years. I guess I should count my blessings. This is the first time my shoes didn't need alterations of build ups and rockers added.

That's been my year besides falls. When I entered PT again they estimated my falls by how many I had in the past couple weeks... 48 falls a year! That sounds like a lot, but thinking back, it's a little on the high side. I remember about 30... not counting falls that I averted by catching myself before I actually hit the floor or ground. Is that a lot? It seems fairly standard to me after back surgeries and strokes in the odd 30 years or so.

What's coming up on 2021...

• The right sided T-Car procedure of my carotid artery is slated on the 5th of January.
• We've got our new garden area ready for seed potatoes in February. The 5th tier of the garden is almost completely revamped for vegetables. The seeds have been ordered. So we should get a good harvest.
• We staked out where our tiny houses will be built and leveled it. We've set the foundation piers. Now we've just got to save for the rest of the lumber before building can commence.
• My 9-month post cancer ultrasound (the week before Christmas) of my thyroid area showed another mass. Just when everyone thought it was gone, surprise! So everything else is up in the air again! But for now, I'm still alive and fighting. So much for a normal year. Sigh!

Nothing is impossible.

Sunday Stroke Survival: I'm Back!

 Well, sort of. I'm still using the HP streaming "computer" with a 256 gig SD card to download all the updates and move files over to it so it's workable. Even with the black Friday sales, I couldn't buy a new or refurbished computer with the property tax due too. But, the SD card was less than $40 so I can start blogging again.

While I was down with computer woes, Kassity had her puppies November 1st. She had ten! Seven girls and three boys. Within an hour of being born we lost one boy and a girl leaving eight. All eight have gotten huge over the last five weeks. They now weigh about five pounds a piece. They have taken over the living, dining, kitchen. and breakfast nook. Both bedrooms have boards to prevent their access to them. They are constantly underfoot climbing our legs for attention. Kassity has weaned them early. She wanted her freedom from them. Now, they each have a small stuffed animal to play with. They look so cute carrying them around the open area. One minute they are cuddling with them and the next, the pups are shaking them trying to "kill" them.

Walking post stroke has been precarious. It's hard carrying the fabric tote with five splits (6"x 8"x 18" about 8-10lbs each) of firewood normally, but with four to eight puppies swarming the feet, it gets even more problematic. I use extra care when walking around them. I make sure I can hold onto something otherwise I'd trip and fall, or step on one of them.

The puppies are fascinated with my AFO. And no, I got my new one but it doesn't fit right either. My new shoes are on back order until the 15th. The Hanger folks refuse to adjust the AFO much without the new shoes. Frustrated, I lashed out at her. "All I want is to walk without pain! Is that too much to ask for? Can you do that or not?" In rare form I asked, "If the foot was amputated below the knee then could you build me a foot that worked right? I doubt it." I never had so much problems with Hanger in my old hometown as with this one. I've had a once a month, or every three months standing appointments with them over the last three years. We're driving 60 miles round trip with each appointment to boot. My frustration load has tipped and the end is not in sight. 

I hate this going around and around for months and only fixing the problem in small amounts. It's like going to get new glasses and you are looking at the eyechart with that machine flipping lenses, and they ask better or worse? Once I answered neither. The optician said I had to pick one. But I had answered truthfully the first time. That's about how I feel about Hanger now. I can't even go to the Hanger back home because the tech I had all the same problems with her not listening to me for two years is now head of that clinic! GRRRRRRRRR!

I talked with one of my neurology PAs last week when I had my Botox appointment and told her about my frustration with Hanger. She asked me whether I had tried Alliance Orthotics? I honestly never heard of them before. Have any of y'all? Do they listen to you? Can they really fix/build an AFO that works as advertised without causing pain and pressure sores??

Is walking without fear of falling with a spastic foot and ankle an impossibility for an AFO? If so, tell me. I'll make an appointment with another orthopedic surgeon tomorrow to schedule an amputation. I'm so tired of dealing with this! I mean I've been fitted for 6 AFOs (with the possibility of a 7th) in the past 8 years! All I want to do is WALK WITHOUT PAIN!! <stepping off the rant box>

The Botox worked fabulously! I was fantastic to be able to lift my arm above my head again., The return of the trapped shoulder pain and strong muscle spasms didn't really return until Thanksgiving. My appointment for the last set of the year was on Friday. There was an additional 100 units for use in trouble spots making this dose 400 units versus 300 units. It was fantastic to lift my arm above my head again. It's been since June of last year since I've been able to do that. I did manage to straighten my elbow to 170 degrees. the last 10 degrees of straightening the elbow to full extension was hampered by a new contracted spot in the bicep. The wrist recovered a 5 degree rotation and extension. That's movement than I've gotten in four years in therapy. The extension capabilities gradually wore off as Thanksgiving approached and the Botox wore off. I was locked in again by the next set of injections.  The neurologist did say he if he could get approval for 1,000 units (he can't) it would fix me up royally. I looked at him in shock, "Really?" "Just about," and he nodded.

The three years off from Botox did reset its results almost fully. While I was hoping for the four or five months lasting power, I knew that my spasticity has gotten so much worse that it was a pipe dream. For now, I'll take what I can get even though I'm giving the doctor permission to inject poison into me. Emory is still on partial lockdown again with the new resurgence of a new strain of mutated strain of COVID-19. While the option of having the new Baclofen pump placement in Athens is available. 

I just hate breaking in new doctors into the mix. My "ologistitis" is getting to the tilt point with the addition of an Otolaryngologist (for my silent acid reflux), a gastroenterologist (for my silent acid reflux), and a vascular specialist in 2020. Okay, a specialist is not technically an ologist but he has a specific field of study and treatment so to me it counts as one. They join my cardiologist, pulmonologist, immunologist, neurologist, oncologist, and my endocrinologist.

I think y'all are all caught up again. I'll be continuing physical therapy again next week when the Botox kicks in fully again. If only my body would allow movement without Botox...a girl can dream, can't she?

Nothing is impossible.

I Got My Newest AFO!

I picked up my new AFO this week. I wish I could say it's a joy to walk with, but I can't. I'm currently nursing THREE pressure sores on my right foot.

One is is in the usual spot on the outside edge of my foot. For the second time now, my podiatrist had to evacuate dried blood from the sealed wound. Think of cutting away a newly reformed callus with a scalpel, and then scraping away at a half dollar sized, 1/2" thick mass of congealed and hardened blood. That's what eight years of pressure sores (10th time) in the same spot will get you.  This is from my old articulating AFO.

The second one is from is at the large ball joint of my big toe. This is from the replacement for the above AFO as it tries to keep my foot from inverting while spastic. It's just a standard fluid filled blister, but it's at a stage 3 and quite painful.

The newest spot (only erupted twice) is just below my ankle bone. This is cause by my new-new AFO as it loses the battle against my spastic foot. It would be at my ankle bone if the foot wasn't inverted almost 45 degrees in the AFO. It is also a stage 3. This one is excruciatingly painful as you can imagine.

All have ruptured and are in various stages of healing with the four times a day applications of gels and wet and dry dressings. Am I going to the wound care branch of the hospital for treatments, nope. They can't do anything that I can't do myself. Nurse heal thyself. I've just had so many pressure sores over the past eight years on my foot, I'd live there. LOL I'm only laughing to stop from crying. Why can't I be normal when it comes to AFOs?! It's the down side of being the Queen of Abby Normal I guess. All I want is to be able to walk without pain. I don't think that's too much to ask. Don't  even mention the "W" word to me (wheelchair). I'll slap you silly.

Maybe the combination of Botox and this new AFO will stop the pressure sores. I'm hoping. The next month will tell the tale.

Nothing is impossible.

Sunday Stroke Survival: Help to Keep Walking on MY Feet

As y'all know I'm waiting on yet another approval for a new AFO. These braces are just too expensive ($1500) to pay out of pocket for one.  Don't we all have a bag of money just lying around collecting dust. I don't know anyone on Social Security Disability that could afford it. So I call, and sit and wait.

Actually, I don't just sit around. I'm "working and walking" here. I've got critters and a garden to tend, and a harvest to process so we can eat. It just makes economic sense and cents. A $3.00 packet of seeds produces enough green beans to feed us for year. I don't know how groceries prices are in your neck of the woods, but you just can't buy that many pounds of fresh, cans or bags of frozen green beans for $3.00 these days even on sales. I'm talking about 208 servings worth of this one vegetable for us two widow folk on this homestead for a year's worth. That's not counting the beans that go into soups, stews, etc. Alright, I spent $9 on three packets of seeds, but even at that, you'd be hard pressed to do it.

The chickens provided us compost to feed the plants and their egg shells provided the calcium so the tomatoes and squashes do not get bottom rot on them. Heck, the chickens even scratched it all into the soil two inches deep for me. They more than pay for their keep. They feed us with eggs and meat. There's even enough eggs to sell to get some pennies in our pockets. Plus, they offers us their daily chicken "tv" show from dawn to dusk for our entertainment. We love to watch the Silkie, the smallest hen and is the lowest in the hen's pecking order, bosses the rooster around the yard. Now that the rooster has all the girls (16 hens) to look after, he doesn't have the time to attack me. Meanwhile, he's loving all the attention. They're like all those girls fawning and fainting over Elvis Presley... in my day. "Elvis, oh, Elvis!" Yes, I was one of those girls too.

Mel swears that all the dinosaur sounds for the  Jurassic Park movie was made by chickens. After ten years of raising chickens, I can believe that. But they are one of the critters I care for, feed, water and gather their eggs each day. So I'm up and doing. The quail aren't as entertaining.

While waiting on Medicare to making a decision, I'm changing my AFO between AFO #1, #2, and #3 about every three hours just so I can keep walking and doing. Before the sun comes up, I'm making bread and breakfast. Sun up, I'm in the garden weeding, watering, tending, and harvesting the crops trying to beat the heat of the day. I'm tending to the cats, dogs, and chickens. Lastly, I'm preserving the harvest for the rest of the day. There's harvest that goes into the dehydrators, processed for canning and freezing, and making our main meal of the day.

While processing the vegetables, I've got my AFO off while I'm seated on a stool. I've got my affected leg and foot propped up n the counter. Not very lady-like or sanitary, but it works. It's not higher than my heart, but it's the best I can do for an hour or two. The brace gets (now I'm starting over with AFO#1 again. The main difficulty is that my foot starts hurting after 30 minutes, and I have to stop and change braces. By the time dinner is fixed, all my braces hurt my foot. I'll plop myself into a chair uttering a small, "ouch" with every step along the way. Changing braces only gets me five minutes of wear now. I make it up the two steps from the back porch into the house after our television time (2 1/2 hours) Currently, we are watching "Arrow" and the new season of "The Protector" having finally watched the last "Supernatural." I pull my shoe off and loosen my AFO as I sit in front of my computer to blog, watch YouTube, and answer emails. At this point I'm willing my foot not to hurt until I take my bedtime medication...not that it relieves the pain, but I can finally take the brace off and go to bed. It's the only way my foot stops hurting.

But it's not off to a peaceful slumber yet, I pry the AFO off my foot. My foot is now red and swollen. I pull off my sock and survey the damage the day has wrought on my foot, ankle, and calf. I grab my lotion and massage all the really red pressure points of all the AFOs. I'll continue this until the circulation is restored and the redness dims to a rosy pink. I'll give the unaffected leg a cursory rubdown because the diabetic neuropathy is raging with redness and the customary pins and needles. I know if I don't do this, I'll be rudely awakened with leg cramps within a few hours. My foot needs at least four hours of no pressure to stop hurting. How do I know this? It was trials and errors at various time lengths between bathroom trips. Six to eight hours of heart lower than my foot and no AFO is the rare occurrence but it's the best with my schedule and bladder.

It's been a month already. I've been calling Hanger every two days to check on progress of which there is none. Can I do less while waiting? Yes, but I'd be thoroughly bored and stir crazy like last year. I also can't afford to slow down and eat this winter neither. HELP! What else can I do? I can't ask Mel to take over my job too. Her to-do list is as long as mine.

Nothing is impossible.

Sunday Stroke Survival: My AFO AGAIN!!!!

Okay, I got my new AFO. I did the swap out of time 1 hour a day, 3 hours a day, and 6 hours a day so my leg and foot become used to the new alignment. After that, it's twelve hours of wear, but I never made it that far. Somewhere around the 8 hour mark I noticed how swollen my foot was. Taking my shoe and sock of I noticed how ugly and red my ankle was. You guessed it, another pressure sore formed just under my ankle bone.

I took the AFO and threw it across the room. This was a huge mistake because I had neither of my old AFOs within reach. I had to call Mel to retrieve one out of my closet before I could tend to the wound. Yes, in just 8 hours the sore had formed and actually partially ruptured. Needless to say, Mel threw the chuck steaks and Vidalia onions on the grill, and made the salad to go along with it. I was down for the count.

I called Hanger the next morning for an appointment on May 5th. As usual, it's mid June! So I'm back to switching AFOs again between the three I have. The oldest one causes stress fractures, a pressure sore on the bottom right side of my foot. The new/old one causes a pressure sore at the base of big toe and puts way too much pressure on the bone spur at the pinky toe. Both of these older braces do not hold my foot straight anymore. My foot rotates inward about 78 degrees inside the AFO which makes walking precarious. Now this newest one puts a pressure sore at my ankle. I've spent the past month juggling three AFOs

I had half jokingly said to my old orthotic specialist, it would be easier to amputate the foot and fit an artificial foot than it is to get a good fitting AFO. During the COVID-19 break in service, my regular specialist was transferred to another branch. So I had to break in a new one. I asked if I didn't like this new one could I get another one and was told yes. My old specialist and I butted heads once too often towards the end over which was more important (her) proper alignment and (me) comfort (no pain nor pressure sores) and the ability to do. So the prospect of a new specialist didn't break my heart one bit. An AFO, no matter if it gave me a proper alignment or not, didn't work if I spent more time off my feet and facing yet another pressure sore. The first thing I asked the new specialist was what was more important. She agreed with me. Okay, that's a step in the right direction.

The fact is I'm combating worsening spasticity. While not technically a diabetic anymore, I'm still dealing with diabetic neuropathy and poor circulation in both feet. I'm actually doing battle (or Hanger and my PCP is for me) with Medicare and my BCBS because I need to be fitted with a NEW AFO in less than a year. This makes my sixth in 8 years.  Am I wrong to feel like this is getting ridiculous??!!

The good news is that Medicare will pay for a new pair of shoes to go with my new AFO. The new specialist versus the billing person found the loophole that was used every other time I'd ordered shoes that they used. Repeated calluses and pressure sores qualifies me under both Medicare and my BCBS. Darn billing person cost me $120 out of pocket buying my own shoes last month. I should charge her. Did I mention they had a new billing person too? GRRR! But then again, I'll have two pairs of shoes if the rockers stay the same.

Whooosa! If you haven't seen Bad Boys 2 this will be lost on you. Suffice to say, breathe, this too shall pass. I don't know when I'll be casted for the new AFO. So until then, I'll be juggling between my three AFOs while I continue to plant and harvest my garden, tend the critters, go through treatments, and just carry on with life.

Nothing is impossible.

Adventures in Specialty Shoes

My shoes are different. They have to specially fitted and modified so I can't just run down to the shoe store if something happens to them to replace them.

At first, just after my first stroke, my AFO allowed me to wear regular shoes. But then, my Achilles tendon contracted within the first year. No amount of stretching will lengthen it now with the spasticity in my foot and ankle. To get around this, I'd need surgery, intensive therapy, plus a long recovery time. I know because I was desperate enough to get out of my AFO to consult an orthopedist. And again, a year ago. I just want to be able to walk again without pressure sores and pain. Is that too much to ask?

Going back to my shoes. My AFO is  built up at the heel to make allowances for my contracted Achilles tendon so the shoe must allow for it. It's also a full size up from my size and extra wide also. But the left shoe for my fully functioning foot, has rockers on the bottom to account for the height difference and a special insert that helps my foot seat right because I tore my Achilles tendon on that side years ago. Then, there was the stress fracture problem with my AFO.  Yes, I got a new  AFO which alleviated some of the problem, but not all of it. The shoe with a rocker on the right shoe fixed the problem. So, as you can see, regular shoes are out of the question.

Getting these shoes was no problem before Medicare. I was an insulin dependent diabetic so my BCBS paid for them.  Because my strokes and AFO required me to wear specialty shoes wasn't a covered expense. My doctors had no problem continued listing with a diagnosis of diabetes even though I was on no medication because my remission could be temporary like my heart issues. It was to Abby Normal for a stroke to kick start my Pancreas. They still say it but after 7 years of being insulin free and low-normal A1Cs, they won't argue the blessing. I'd gone from A1C readings without insulin of 15 (normal is 5-7) to consistent readings between 4-5 over a three month period. Yes, they tried me first on assorted drugs for over a year to no avail before switching to injections of insulin. I figured I'd be on the shots for life like my aunts and cousins until my stroke changed things.

Now, it's been seven years. I no longer have diabetes listed as one of my ailments. But Medicare and my Medicare supplements will cover my shoes, but only one pair a year. There in lies the problem. Wearing one pair of shoes 365/7/15 hours, they wear out. By the time I get a new pair, my old shoes are just barely working anymore.

Luna and Frankie at my feet

As if that were not an adventure enough, let me introduce you to my newest problems...Luna and Frankie. Luna and Frankie are the newest community dogs. They belong to Reynaldo who lives atop the 50' rise that borders one side of our property. Our two dogs become the community dogs on his property and at Sheba's place. These dogs are great friends. Together they protect our total 5 acres of land from predators. We love these dogs as if they were ours. In a way they are ours because they have free access into our home via the pet doors.

When it rains or is freezing outside, we end up with a canine slumber party. Think dog carpeting.The other community dogs spend the night by the wood stove. Nnyus and Kassity are our only dogs but we tolerate the other dogs because of the protection they offer. Frankie, Pit Bull, is the youngest at 12 weeks old. Luna is a 9-month old German Shepherd, Sheba, German Shepherd, is 16 years old, Nnyus, Pit Bull/Ridgeback, is 12 years old, and Kassity, Pit Bull/Great Dane, is now a year old. Nnyus and Sheba are teaching the young one how to protect the properties and dog manners.

Now, Mel and I are training the two youngest dogs people skills like not jumping on us and various other things. If they are in our house, they've got to learn to behave, right? They aren't allowed in their owners' houses unless injured. So, it's up to us to teach them indoor manners like leaving our cats alone, or not using the bathroom inside.

This is especially true with Frankie. Luna learns quick, but Frankie is a baby. Luna has chased down and killed two of our hens. And, Frankie has decided he wants to carry my scent with him home. He tried to carry one of my shoes up the hill but ended up dropping it before he got to the rise. They are so heavy with all the additions and he's relatively small yet. He did manage to carry off one of Mel's short Wellies, but I think Luna may have helped him with that two weeks ago. So it's not just mine. Today, they left and went up the hill for breakfast and came back down. When I got out of the shower I went to get dressed. I was missing a shoe! The little scamp had taken off with it again. It's not like I can put on any shoes either. I only have the one pair too.

I put on Mel's Wellies and went to search for my wayward shoe. It doesn't work well with my AFO because I can't do the lower straps of my AFO. So here I was walking very wobbly around the 1/4 acre of fairly flat land around the house. I looked everywhere to no avail. I called Reynaldo, but he wasn't home. I was stuck. Well I thought, I was about due for a new pair of shoes anyhow, I might as well get the ball rolling. I called my podiatrist to have her fax her notes on my foot care to my PCP, and then called my PCP to fax a prescription to Hanger Orthotics. Then, I called Hanger for an appointment. Yes, it is a long process. It will take about a month to get new shoes by the time it's all said and done. But that didn't fix my immediate problem.

Eventually, Reynaldo returned home. I heard him whistling. He's always whistling when he's outside. He searched his yard and found it! It is badly chewed with almost half of the Velcro closure straps and tongue chewed off. But I got my shoe back! I was so relieved. I was honestly trying to figure out how I was supposed to do what I needed to do for a month without shoes. From now on, my shoes will go on my dresser or on the back of the toilet. I don't need the new grey hairs.

Now for a scary update...my podiatrist faxed her notes to my PCP, and then my PCP's office called me asking if there was a form that she could fill out  and get the doctor to sign to save time. I answered that I didn't know. Their office is two blocks from their office, instead of me being 36 miles away, for her to call them directly. Both of us have been trying to call Hanger for a week now. We've left messages and no return calls. Do you think they've closed down their office due to the virus? There are 54 cases of active Corona cases in that county. If so, now what? Wait another month and chance not having shoes to wear? Actually two months because it's a month's process after I place the order.

 Nothing is impossible.

AFO Update

As y'all well know, I've been having issues with my new and old AFO. It's been a maddening adventure trying to get the new one to fit without causing pain when I wear it longer than three hours.

I just have too active of a lifestyle even living post stroke. I suppose it would be different if I was the type of person that didn't strive to be active and push for recovery of what I lost. But, that's just not me. If nothing else, I'm true and totally honest with and about myself.

The main problem is two fold. The new AFO straightens my foot and ankle the way it should be, aka normal, and my old AFO doesn't do this, but causes stress fractures. It's a no win situation. I strongly dislike those types of situations. It feels like losing, but really it's not because I walk better with the new AFO.

I had another appointment with my orthotic specialist. This is going to be an ongoing thing until the Baclofen pump can be installed and adjusted. Every month, I'll be making my way into the "big" city for consults and adjustments until then. After much discussion, we decided to keep doing minor adjustments to the AFO over time because it is actually doing what it is suppose to do. This new AFO will look like it's been through a war just like my other ones by the time they are finished. It's a good thing they are not charging me for these appointments, but I still have to pay for the gas for the 60+- mile round trip.

I'm still waiting on a date for the Baclofen trial. So I'm stuck trading out AFOs when I can't tolerate one or the other to get the things done that need to be done. I'm still doing more sitting than I need to be doing. I guess we all do what we have to do even when it involves stopping in the middle of doing something to change out braces.

It looked similar to this shutterstock pic

I'm glad I bought two pairs of shoes last year too. I had a major blow out of the sole of my affected side's shoe. The entire tip to the mid sole non slip cover came loose. It flapped with every step. Talk about a fall waiting to happen. While I was in Gainesville visiting my orthotic specialist, I dropped off the shoe at the shoe repair shop. They were the ones that did all the adjustments to my shoes. Because it was one of these adjustments that blew out, there was no charge. Of the six years I've had to have specialty shoes, I've been extremely blessed not to have an issue like this before. I'm also thankful that the sale of my lower Georgia property allowed me to buy an extra pair of shoes so I wasn't having to try and walk with my shoe like this.

The news about the new AFO is not all bad. The new AFO is easier to put on and the hard plastic shell is narrower than my old one. This is a major plus in the summer. It slides in and out of my shoe easier instead of having to use a shoe horn like the old one which is also an advantage. But most of all, it's holding my foot in the proper alignment. My back is ever so grateful.

I have developed arthritis in the first MP joint of my affected pinky toe. The numerous x-rays I had on this foot during the fractures healing confirmed this. The pain and swelling isn't  helping matters in pain threshold department. In case you didn't know, the pinky toe is in constant use keeping your balance with each step. Having sustained several crushing injuries and fractures to the foot in the past, and now the AFO, I'm not surprised. Even with the strap across my foot on the new AFO, the toes move and are pulled out of alignment with the spasticity. The new AFO straightens my foot for a more evenly distributed weight across my foot so this joint is now getting an even greater workout. This relatively new diagnosis is a kick in the pants.

It's s-o-o much fun getting older.

Sunday Stroke Survival: AFO Woes, Weather, and Other Stuff

As you can guess, I was hard pressed to talk about one thing this week. So much and so little has been accomplished.

The garden has been planted. All that's left to do is busy work like weeding until harvest time. But I can't because of the rain. I do get out to pick dandelions, clover, strawberry and black berry leaves, and grasses for the rabbits. I'm picking grass seed heads for the corralled hens too. This takes me about an hour each day. That's including feeding and loving on them.

My AFO still isn't right. I'd gotten up to three hours a day wearing time in the new new AFO. It still rubs my ankle bone. It can be down right painful too. If I just sat around all day this wouldn't be a problem. But I have a fairly active lifestyle. I'll burn up 6,000  steps in a few hours between the animals and the garden. On sunny days, I'll round off 10,000 steps by including the orchard. But I haven't been doing that lately. I'll be up on my feet for an hour in the new new AFO and then spend the next  30 minutes on the porch swing to rest my foot and ankle.

At around 2:30 of the three-hour mark finds me on the swing watching the spinners and the hummingbirds because it's too painful to stand up. The wind spinners were a birthday gift from a YouTube viewer who made them from soda cans. I just love them. I set my phone alarm for the three-hour mark. I usually am counting the minutes until I an swap out AFOs. But that's not really helpful because the old AFO is the device that caused my foot fractures. Even with the adjustments, that old knife stabbing pains return after a few short hours. So I'm stuck sitting more than I'd like.

Even with the extra padding in the new new AFO, it still isn't right. It still causes pain, but my foot alignment is correct. In talking to Hanger, at yet another appointment, my foot is so far out of whack that any correction will cause pain. So we are at an impasse. Do I give up alignment and a normal gait, or do I go back with to the poor posture, limping gait of the old style AFO? I'm hoping the intrathecal baclofen trial works on the leg spasticity. Eventually, I may just get rid of this AFO.  I'm still waiting for that appointment.


The weather has been, in a word, wet. It has rained every day for three weeks. There is only about a two-hour window each day that it isn't raining fairly hard. I said I'd never complain about the rain again after the drought of 2016, but I'm close. I guess it's a God's blessing kind of thing because I can't be up and doing outside. I'm glad I opted for building double width rows of raised beds in the in-ground plantings. At least the water has somewhere to go instead of drowning my seeds. Building these rows with a shovel and a rake was no easy job for one-handed me, but each 5' long row was accomplished. I could make two rows a day until all six were made. I'm glad I took the time. Gone are the days that I did six 30' rows a day... ten years ago. I'm thankful for this little garden plot instead of the old 1/4 acre garden. It's official. This was the wettest May in the history of this area.

I do have to say that living post stroke has been anything but boring. Every day there is something happening. Whether I fall, sometimes several times a day, or just preparing dinner are adventures. Attempting to make do single handed and not using my dominant hand to boot is challenging. I've finally quit trying to do trying to do something with my right hand first. It's only taken six years.  Not that I don't use my right arm and hand, but they now play a supporting role instead of a first response reactor.

The difference between learning and relearning

Living post stroke is a learning curve every single day as you try to regain your old life. Everything I try to do is part of this curve unless I've conquered it prior and have repeated it a dozen times or more. But isn't that true even if you haven't had a stroke? Yes, but living post stroke is relearning how to do it with impairments. Trying something absolutely new can be daunting post stroke. But it's a break from relearning. Sometimes, the frustration of learning something new is better than the frustration you get from relearning how to do something. I'm always on the lookout for these gems. Pinterest is a great place to see new crafty things I might want to try. I'm the type of person that sees something she likes and tries to make it. This year I tried spinning plarn to knit market bags. In the garden, I'm always trying a new plant or two each season. This year, it's tomatiloes. You never know what you can grow well until you try. In some small way, it makes me feel "normal" because everyone gets frustrated trying something new.

I've temporarily stopped working on the cookbook. I'm just too busy with the rabbits, garden, and orchard. I'll pick up working on it in the late fall after I put the garden to bed for the year. Next year's garden will be changing. Garlic and onions will be planted around the apple trees in succession planting because they'll keep pests away. I'll be planting leeks seeds in the fall as a first time crop to overwinter in the garden. Napa cabbages will be in the fall garden so all the ingredients for kim chi will come from my garden. Wohoo!

Nothing is impossible.