Recovered, Finally!! Sort of

 It's been a long slow recovery from my T-CAR procedure. But I can finally say that I'm over the hump towards recovered from my procedure. It took the better part of two weeks to get my stamina back. I've just been recasted for my EIGHTH AFO in almost 9 years after the newest one broke bones in my foot again! SIGH! If I didn't need it to walk, I'd give up. So I', back wearing only my old (3rd AFO) again with no shoe. When I wear a shoe, my foot swells horrendously.

Interestingly enough, I got notification from Medicare that they have denied payment for that last AFO and Hanger can't bill me. So it should prove interesting how long they will work for free. Although they assure me they will make it right. No news yet on this newest casting payment. I knew it would happen eventually. So further treatments and adjustments are up in the air for now. I'm not trying to be unreasonable here. I just want to be able to walk post stroke without pain, pressure sores, nor broken bones. Is that too much to ask for? 

I'm so sick and tired of hearing every stroke is different and spasticity is an ongoing complication that I'm about to scream "Cop out." You know what the problem is. There's nothing new about it. Just fix the problem. I know I'm not the first. I surely won't be the last. Sure, I would make it easier on everyone except me and just stay in a wheelchair, but I refuse!

For the past month, I've seriously been considering a nursing home placement for me. But I'm too mentally aware for that. I've considered assisted living too. It would take every penny I get, and then some. I'm just at the point where, even with a roommate, I no longer feel able to live by myself. Yes, I've even looked into a senior living type housing. I'm tired of ending up on the floor and waiting for help. Of course a properly fitted AFO would go a long way in fixing this problem too. The waiting lists for these other options are long.

Does it sound like I'm frustrated?/ I am. It would mean leaving the lifestyle I love behind and preparing to die. Or at least that's how I see it. Am I really ready for that? No, not really. I still think of myself as young-ish and full of life. There are still things I want to accomplish in this life. I just have a body that's defunct. In reality, I've had a body that's defunct since I was 26 years old, but I've kept going and doing. I just know that if I'm going to continue living this lifestyle, I need a break for the good.

I told Hanger that they had this one final opportunity to make my AFO right. I've been more than patent. I've given them the seven years I've been here to fix my AFO issues to no avail and I'm still using the articulating, ill-fitting AFO that I started with. Now, that Alliance has opened up shop, I'll be going there next. I've heard nothing but praises for the tech over there. I have nothing to lose either.

Nothing is impossible.