Friday, January 21, 2011

Time to Say Goodbye

Some of my most precious memories are of having the ablilty of saying goodbye to a loved one before they died.  This past week, although difficult, was another instance. My husband is terminally ill with cancer and had a seven-year battle with the disease. He is exhausted from the fight and is ready both physically and spiritually to go Home. He announced to all of our family this past Christmas that this would be his last physical Christmas with all of us. We have watched his steady decline and fight for years, but we all knew this time would come. Are you ever really ready to say goodbye?

 This week my husband's brother and his wife came to town...his brother and sisters live all over the U.S. Although my husband's energy level only allowed a few short hours with them, they told stories of long ago, and shared the love they had for each other. I listened and watched as the hours unfolded. This was their time. At the end when it was time for another dose of morphine, my brother and sister-in-law hugged him tight and said goodbye. Each of them knowing this would probably be the last time they saw him alive.

Over the next couple of weeks each of his sisters will be in town to see him. This time is so precious. All time is precious. Each moment is a memory made and it might be our last. Make the most of each second you have. I have been writing a nonfiction of our journey titled, "To Have and Let Go." It is incomplete for the time being. I'm not sure how it will end. But all too soon I will. It's about living with a dying soul mate. The trials, the joys, the tears, and the ability to say goodbye.

So how do you say goodbye? It's a moment by moment event. It's a smile. It's a caress. It's laughter, and it's tears. Each one may be the last time you experience it and each one is a cherished event.

Friday, January 7, 2011

New Years Resolutions and started a new novel

Yes, like most of you I made resolutions for the coming year. Like most of you writers it was to complete yadayadaya novel, book, article etc. For me it was to start a new novel. . Right now, the working title is "Engineering Death," but this will change.

This brings me to a subject that is near and dear to my heart. Where do the seeds of novels come from. The pat answer is from your imagination. Yes, that's true, but what spurns your imagination for the new kernel of an idea for a novel. To be honest, I sat at my computer for days surfing the net for odd and interesting news bits in an effort to jog my imagination. Nothing worked. Now understand I write all genres of fiction except romance to keep my imagination going full tilt.

The lightning struck as a remembered a conversation I had with my husband about the latest conspiracy theories. Not that we believe them...they are entertaining and stretches the "what if" factor. Then a few days later a discussion appeared in Books and Writers Forum about genetically engineered pigs.

Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner. I know, I know, science fiction and fantasy along these lines have been written to death, but people still read them.  If nothing else, the ideas that were popping into my head were amazing images of every fantasy/science fiction picture I'd ever seen in my life. What woud future people be like? What would be their environment? What impact of the present day bio engineering have on future generations? Then memories of the TV reality show "The Colony" popped up and the light bulb went from a 25-watt to 100-watts as I was brainstorming as fast as I could. I've spent the last twenty-four hours on an eretheral high just brainstorming out this novel.  It's a futuristic look at the long term possible effects of this new science boon. Wow! Can you tell I'm excited?