Have you been searching for a blog post from me for the past few months and found nothing?! 

 TADA! HERE I AM!

Yep! I was MIA for the past several months. I've been found by a few of you long time readers who sent emails checking up on me. So, I thought I'd post a few pixels here to let y'all know I'm still alive.

The truth is that my Hashimoto's disease has been kicking my hinny. Coupled with the exhaustion that plagues me there's a new (or new to me) side to this disease that has cropped up... spontaneous nosebleeds. While aggravating to most who suffer with them, it has a serious component for us folks living post stroke. We are all on some kind of blood thinner to help prevent a subsequent stroke. Therein lies the problem.  My first nosebleed I stood up from my desk intent on going to the bathroom. It took almost an hour to get control of it and stop it.

I wasn't so fortunate with the second one a couple weeks later. I awoke from a nap and started pouring blood from my left nostril. Every place I stopped and had to let loose of my nose, I left a sizeable puddle of blood (about 1/4 cup). By the bathroom sink where I grabbed a couple hand towels, by the freezer where I pulled out the ice pack, and final stop in front of my transport chair. At this last stop I couldn't contain the blood within the hand towel anymore and grabbed another clean one. It was pouring straight from my mouth into the floor. My shirt, bra, and both towels were totally soaked through when I texted my daughter, "HELP!" She came through the two doors separating her room and mine at a run. She'd just come in from work.

She tossed me a roll of paper towels as she went to the bathroom for a towel. I looked into her eyes pleading. "Hospital?" I nodded. There was at least a pint of blood on various floors and towels. One granddaughter was just getting home from school, and the other one was coming home to do laundry and get help with her Anatomy & Phys studying. Both were brought up short by the sight of their momma wheeling their grandmama out front door covered in a bloody bath towel. My daughter and one of my granddaughters helped me into the car. 

We only live 1 and a 1/2 miles from the nearest hospital, but in that time. I'd covered most of the bath towel in blood. A hospital worker chased after us with masks, and then realized I couldn't wear one. My daughter donned hers. I tried to check in but was immediately wheeled into the fast-track side. My daughter went to move the car and I was alone with blood pouring out of my mouth, through the towel, and onto the floor as I tried to answer their questions. Their voices were getting farther and farther away. "Stay with me. Open your eyes." Then my daughter was there. I could hear her but couldn't talk to her. She even used my given name. She knew how much I hated that, but I couldn't reprimand her.

My body was lifted onto a stretcher, and I was wheeled to the real ER. I watched the whole scene from somewhere else. I could hear everything being said around me. Having worked emergency medicine prior, I knew I was circling the drain. They tried to start an IV of fluids and blood. The doctor called for an intubation kit, and then I was back fighting them all off. They had packed off my left nostril to try to stop the bleeding which it marginally did, but blood still trickled down the back of my throat. I'd cough it up and spit it out from time to time. They'd estimated I'd lost a little over two pints of blood. I was admitted.

Three days later, I was whisked away to have my nostril cauterized. The ENT said he burned off the usual suspects and repacked my nose. In other words, he couldn't find the exact veins that were bleeding. The trickle of blood down the back of my throat slowed but didn't stop totally. each morning I awoke with a film of it on the roof of my mouth. I was discharged home a couple days later. That was the end of January. The first week in February, the ENT pulled the packing out-- all 18" of it. I started back on my blood thinners a week later and waited for the next nosebleed. It took a month for the blood tinged mucous and blood clots to stop coming out, but it's stopped for now. Until the next time.

I'm just curious. What would you do? Not taking blood thinners supposedly increases your chances of having another stroke by 75% or roll the dice and don't take your blood thinners in case of nose bleeds. Chance the nosebleeds and take the blood thinners, or chance another stroke?

I got on my Plavix and bought a humidifier. I also squirted Oceans nasal spray up my nose twice a day. I'm doing everything I can think of to head off another nosebleed if I can.

My heart is another issue. My ankles are swelling, and waistline is holding fluid. A lot of fluid. My weight can fluctuate between 10lbs and 30lbs per day. It can make breathing rather difficult. So, I'm stuck in this sedentary life, and I don't like it at all. I hardly recognize myself. So, I haven't been blogging. I really haven't done much of anything except trying to heal and get my strength back. But at least I've touched bases with y'all.

Nothing is impossible.