Sunday, July 11, 2021

Sunday Stroke Survival: An Attitude Adjustment

 I was listening (streaming) my favorite HIS radio this week trying to get out of my funk. I was on the pity pot because in spite of the podiatrist shaving my callus down on my AFO clad foot, it was painful to take a step.  Well, I had pushed pass the pain to make kimchi last week. A big mistake, 

So now, I could make one trip to the front door and back (50 ft one way) before the pain sets in. The pain is in the ankle and last all day long allowing for trips to the bathroom and back to my seat (about thirty steps) without the pain becoming too excruciating. I am now sitting in the chair playing on the computer with my leg elevated above my heart on a bar stool most of the time. I had so much I wanted to do, but can't so frustration sets in. Thus enters the pity pot. It just hurts too bad to walk any farther.

I was playing a game in the computer when this song came on the radio. "Say I Won't" by Mercy Me. It struck my heart with such conviction I thought I would share it with y'all. I didn't know the story behind the song until I watched the video. All I can say is watch and listen.


It reminded me of how far I've come since my ischemic/hemorrhagic stroke that left me paralyzed on the right side in 2012. I was thankful. No, I haven't recovered the use of my arm nor leg, but even such, there is not much I can't do that I did before even with the loss. I just have to learn a new way to do it or adapting. 

Although I've heard this song many times, this time I saw me in the song. How many times have circumstances rose before me in the past. How many times in here and in real life I've said, "Watch me!" Suddenly, the funk cloud lifted. Sure, I can't walk now because of pain. But, will it stay this way forever, probably not. 

~~I'm gonna run
No, I'm gonna fly
I'm gonna know what it means to live
And not just be alive.

The world's gonna hear
'Cause I'm gonna shout
And I will be dancing when circumstances drown the music out
Say I won't ~~

Watch me! 

Eventually, I'll get a new PCP who'll write an order for my AFO to be fixed and I only have to wait until August for my new neurologist to shoot me full of Botox to somewhat tame the spasticity. Then, I'll be raring to go again. It just seems like forever. Say I won't... my faith will show you and I'll say 'watch me' go with a renewed attitude.  Patience, Jo, patience. ARGH!!!  Repeat to yourself over and over again.... 

"God is good, all the time. Remember, God's timing is impeccable. 
Never too early nor too late. It's just a matter of perspective."

Nothing is impossible.

4 comments:

  1. Sorry you can't make it far without pain. Shame someone can't help you now.

    ReplyDelete
  2. A powerful song - thanks for sharing it.

    ReplyDelete

I love to hear from you! Agree, Disagree, Indifferent...no matter. Even if it's to say you were here.