Sunday Stroke Survival: When Life Gives You Lemons-Lemonade or Sour Puss

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I know y'all are familiar with the saying...when life hands you lemons, make lemonade, right? What happens when you get tired of making lemonade. Do you become a sour puss?

It's human nature again, right? Yes and no. Oh boy, here we go with another attitude adjustment/ point of view blog. You're gonna make me think, aren't you Jo? Yep, I am. Of course knowing that, you could not read this post, but you're already here. Why not read a spell?

Oh good! You're still reading. I've got you now, wringing my hand evilly around my spastic one. Let the mind twisting begin.

The transition from making lemonade to sour puss is your conscious choice. Just like a child, you act out when you are tired and cranky. For me, it's looking heavenward and saying to God, "Leave me alone! I'm strong enough!" Betcha didn't expect to read that.

Side note~
Often miscredited as a Biblical verses, "That which does not kill us, makes us stronger." The actually credit goes to Friedrich Nietzsche, who was an atheist and  modern philosopher who uttered the words. The same line of thought can be found in both the Old and New Testaments, but is not biblical if quoting verse. Biblical, it's in reference becoming stronger in faith after overcoming trials.

Sometimes living post stroke can be this way. You've done everything others have done, the standard tried and true method. They achieved recovery of this or that and you did not. Maybe it worked (enter your percentage), but no where near what it did for (enter other stroke survivor's name here). This comparison makes you sick with envy. It makes the lemonade you are trying to make extremely sour. There's just too many lemons and not enough sugar in the world to sweeten it like surviving a stroke(s).  It's bad enough to have one stroke, but I've had several (6) according to my latest MRI.

You'd think that if anyone deserved to be a sour puss, it would be me, but yet I'm not. As soon as I get a minimal amount of recovery from a stroke, I'll have another to set me back to square one or two again. Even though I'm in incredible, constant pain, you'll see me with a smile on my face because I've got a inner peace from the Lord. I'll still laugh and joke around with you. When the pain is the severest, I'm mostly very quiet which is totally not like me at all. Mel'll will ask me if I'm mad. I'll shake my head and tell her I'm just in pain. "You're a [wo]man than I am, Gunga Din." (Rudyard Kipling)  No, I'm not. It's really amazing what you can do when you have to. The facts are: I've had several strokes in close proximity to each other or rendunant functioning parts of my brain, I've suffered many backs to square ones even before my strokes, and still I'm fighting to recover because I survived yet another stroke. (Inject whatever trial you are going through here) If I gave up, what would I do then? I mean, I can't just sit back and twiddle my thumbs anymore.

For decades, I searched for the brass ring to stop this roller coaster life I'm living to no avail. No dietary changes, no medicine, no surgeries, or anything worked except GRACE. You see through it all, God's Grace holds me up when my knees buckle under the weight I sometimes carry. I am never truly alone. Faith that no matter comes against me, God is with me. Everything is this world will die and/or fades away. That is as it should be.

I may be a sour puss from all the lemons I've been given from time to time, but those times are short lived. It's been over a year since my last series of Botox injections and I've paid the price. Not in cash quantities, but in  the quality of my life especially over the past six months.

I've watched my forward progress grind to a halt and reverse while I sought a better way. Cut nerves can rejuvenate within limits so long as you don't sever all of them. I want a fighting chance in my war with post stroke spasticity. I want my quality of life for as long as I can have it. Even if its a trade off like more surgery. If the surgery kills me, then know I'm happy in my quality afterlife in Heaven. If I survive, I'll keep on fighting for it with the Lord by my side. If I need Him to, He'll carry me. This is my faith. This is my life. I want it and I'll have it. That's just how I roll.

Nothing is impossible.