Sunday Stroke Survival: Snatching Victory from Defeat

When it comes to failures living post stroke, there are many. I fail to accomplish tasks all the time even after six years of living post stroke. There's not a day that goes by when I don't fail at doing  something I try to do. In part because I challenge myself each day to regain some ability or other. Zig Ziglar said...

"If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost."

 I was first exposed to Zig in my marketing classes at college. He specializes in the area of personal development training. He also said...

You don't have to be great at something to start, but you have to start to be great at something.

Even before I was a stroke survivor, old Zig confirmed what I'd always believed.  I often refer to this here as snatching victory from defeat, and how do you know you can't do something unless you try. You are never truly defeated unless you give up.

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Yes, it's very frustrating challenging yourself with a new or different challenge each day.  I usually start my day, after prayers, with something I relearned to do well. It bolsters my ego for the trial to come. Plus it reinforces the relearned skill. Whether it's beating the computer at a game of Canasta or baking bread. It's a tactile operation that puts my mind and body unto motion for the day's new challenge. 

For several months now, it's dealing  with painful spasticity and walking. Now,  I'm more apt to fall which I'm back to doing at least once a day. All it takes is an invisible piece of lint on the floor and I go boom. It feels like the early days of walking after my stroke. The 30 degree inversion of my affected foot in spite of my AFO might have something to do with this also. But I don't quit. I pick myself up and keep going. 

There's no denying that I'm finding it more difficult to get up these days too. So much so that I asked my neurologist for an MRI to see if I'd had another stroke. But, I've been there and done that already. And yes, I did.  It's just means working hard again to regain what I recovered back. My 3 cm ischemic/hemorrhagic stroke damage area has grown to 6 cm. Another set back...what's new. We figured that was partially to blame for me being on the pity pot so long too. It skewed my attitude, but it's getting back to more my normal every day. My right side is weaker again except for the spasticity. The spasticity only increased with the new brain insult.
Just my luck.

I did get my dry needling and stretching this week. The pain is more tolerable now. She actually had to needle  the base of my skull, neck, and trapezius muscles  because they were so strained from compensating for the spasticity in my arm. Just try carrying a 7 lb weight around 24/7 and see if it doesn't affect all your other muscles also.


Oh, my neurologist calling Emory worked! My appointment with the neurosurgeon is September 13th. I'm doing the Snoopy dance of happiness since they called.

The waiting is over almost. Granted, this is only the first meet and greet with the physiatrist who will do the trial for the Baclofen pump, but it's a start of the action plan the functional neurosurgeon laid out in my initial visit with him back in May. If the trial is successful the pump placement can be scheduled within a month. It's been a long time coming.

Nothing is impossible.