Help Wanted-Writers~ A Meltdown!

Yesterday I was scrolling through twitter and saw what looked like an ad for a writing position. Now after decades of job searches (both hiring and seeking), I know not everything on a list of skills sets wanted has to be met, but you need to be pretty darn close.

As I read down the list of "Writer Qualifications" I couldn't help feeling a bit depressed, my resolve wavered, frustration set in, and I'm truly a bit frightened about my own writing career choice. I had honestly thought to email about it, but I stopped myself. (We are our own worst enemy) Normally, I'm this upbeat and happy person, but today I just feel old and tired.

Yes, I've had sales which causes me to do the snoopy dance of happiness.

Yes, I'm building a following  s-l-o-w-l-y. I've want quality over quantity, if that makes sense in this fast paced virtual world. It takes time to build a customer base, trust, and all the things that go with it. Building a market from the ground up is difficult...why do you think big companies use celebrities to touth their products. I've owned enough successful businesses ventures over the years to know how important this is. All of that being said...I want it yesterday.

I believe in building a relationship with my readers and writers I work with, is that wrong? Possibly.

I'm not a best selling author and never have been, nor do I expect to be. But yes, my dream is to possibly be one. Isn't that every author's dream?While sales have been fair to good in my mind, my sales cannot be counted in 500+ copies a week since publishing various titles instead in the 1,000's. That's not even a mid-list author if there is such a thing anymore. It has taken months to build to that number.

I look at the 23 following this blog and the almost 2,000 views since January plus the 8 networked blogs and rejoice because the number is that high with only 80 odd posts over the past year. It's significant to me and appreciated.

But then, I read a true, strong following is 15,000 a day. I am a long way from that, if I ever reach that. My researching the author business and other authors is depressing me further. But you have to stay on top of everything as an indie author.

I know, I hear you. I've said it often enough to myself and others...it takes time...hang in there...and, it doesn't happen overnight. Overnight? Try five years? Try ten years? Try twenty years? Try thirty years? Try never????

At this point I may be the next Stieg Larsson, best seller after I'm dead. Or maybe just another wanna-be that tried in dismal failure. Don't get me wrong, I'm not giving up. I'm going to keep plodding away because I love writing almost as much as I love reading.

I look at what I've accomplished in this writing life and feel a sense of pride in helping other authors "make it." But still there is this little voice inside me that chastises and is petty, "WHAT ABOUT ME!" I'm pretty much selfless most of the time...ask the 250+ authors I've helped with editing, storylines, trailers, covers, social networking, queries, snyposes, outlines, ghosted for, etc, for free over the years, well not for free anymore. But writers are not banging on my door for these pay-for services either. Maybe, I'm just not good enough. Or maybe there is just too much competition out there. Maybe... aw heck, this is worthless babbling and I'm screaming at the moon.

Just my frustration talking here. My fifteen minutes on the pity pot are over. I think I'm going to take the day off and go to the beach, without having to officiant a wedding, and let the brisk wind and the wavesbcrashing on the sand  carry all this away.

As always...
Keep writing and loving the Lord.