Sunday, January 10, 2021
Sunday, January 3, 2021
In living post stroke, you run into all sorts of folks. You are almost paranoid that everyone is looking or staring at you. How do you know someone is staring at you? When you make eye contact with them they'll quickly look away. But then, there are folks that will hold the stare until you look away. The latter is just blatantly rude! I've run into a lot of them in the almost nine years since my first stroke left me with aphasia, PBA, paralysis, and spasticity.
Living post stroke when you haven't recovered all your abilities, there is obviously something wrong with you to even the casual observers. If the staring goes on very long, you get irritated. Didn't their mothers teach them not to stare at others. It's impolite. All sorts of snide and snippy comebacks pop into my mind if I get irritated enough. Just what are you staring at? Hey! I'm walking here! You have a stroke and try it. Why don't you try living a day in my life and see how wonky you do things to get 'r done. Even the simple stuff, or would be simple with a functioning body takes thinking and planning before executing. What used to take five minutes to do now takes triple or quadruple time. Think hours or days to accomplish for somethings.
Sunday, December 27, 2020
- The right sided T-Car procedure of my carotid artery is slated on the 5th of January.
- We've got our new garden area ready for seed potatoes in February. The 5th tier of the garden is almost completely revamped for vegetables. The seeds have been ordered. So we should get a good harvest.
- We staked out where our tiny houses will be built and leveled it. We've set the foundation piers. Now we've just got to save for the rest of the lumber before building can commence.
- My 9-month post cancer ultrasound (the week before Christmas) of my thyroid area showed another mass. Just when everyone thought it was gone, surprise! So everything else is up in the air again! But for now, I'm still alive and fighting. So much for a normal year. Sigh!
Sunday, December 13, 2020
Previous back surgeries and rods in my spine reverberated up and down leaving a tingling sensation down both legs. I pulled a drawer out to aid me in rising back on my feet. I braced my AFO clad foot flat on the floor and pulled myself up with my functioning leg. Once I was halfway up, the functioning left leg crumpled. It wouldn't support my weight. The tingling now progressed to numbness. Boy, I really did it this time, I thought.
I waited a couple minutes and tried again with the same results. To compound things, I had to pee. I positioned the pad and let loose of my bladder. After the fourth attempt to rise met with failure, I was exhausted and surprisingly nauseous. I grabbed a mixing bowl and retched into it. Great, now I was lightheaded to boot.
We had corralled the puppies into a 8'x8' area with wire shelving. Of course, the runt figured out how to climb it and get out. She's so happy and proud of herself for doing this. She'll come to me with her tail wagging to beat the band. She has since showed one male and another female how to do this. But as an added twist, she'll climb back in the enclosure for nap time. The other two hasn't learned this yet.
So there I was in a heap on the floor feeling thoroughly sorry for myself and who should come visit me, but the runt. She's full of kisses and snuggles, and I can't help myself but to smile and laugh. There's just something about a puppy so glad to see you with joyful glee that you can't stay miserable. After a few minutes, she went off to see what trouble she could get into.
I evaluated my situation. The bottom drawer that I had been using was way too low, but the next drawer up from my pots and pans drawer was too high. What I needed was an ice cooler or dining room chair. But either of those things were in reach. I could maybe crawl to the breakfast nook to grab a chair, but at this point I had been on the floor from my fall 4 hours before. I was exhausted, thirsty, and sleepy. I had in fact dozed off from time to time during this. I'd be awakened by one of the dogs begging to be fed, or the puppies (all three were loose now), or the cats. But I couldn't help anyone including myself.
Nothing is impossible.
Sunday, December 6, 2020
Well, sort of. I'm still using the HP streaming "computer" with a 256 gig SD card to download all the updates and move files over to it so it's workable. Even with the black Friday sales, I couldn't buy a new or refurbished computer with the property tax due too. But, the SD card was less than $40 so I can start blogging again.
The puppies are fascinated with my AFO. And no, I got my new one but it doesn't fit right either. My new shoes are on back order until the 15th. The Hanger folks refuse to adjust the AFO much without the new shoes. Frustrated, I lashed out at her. "All I want is to walk without pain! Is that too much to ask for? Can you do that or not?" In rare form I asked, "If the foot was amputated below the knee then could you build me a foot that worked right? I doubt it." I never had so much problems with Hanger in my old hometown as with this one. I've had a once a month, or every three months standing appointments with them over the last three years. We're driving 60 miles round trip with each appointment to boot. My frustration load has tipped and the end is not in sight.
I hate this going around and around for months and only fixing the problem in small amounts. It's like going to get new glasses and you are looking at the eyechart with that machine flipping lenses, and they ask better or worse? Once I answered neither. The optician said I had to pick one. But I had answered truthfully the first time. That's about how I feel about Hanger now. I can't even go to the Hanger back home because the tech I had all the same problems with her not listening to me for two years is now head of that clinic! GRRRRRRRRR!
I talked with one of my neurology PAs last week when I had my Botox appointment and told her about my frustration with Hanger. She asked me whether I had tried Alliance Orthotics? I honestly never heard of them before. Have any of y'all? Do they listen to you? Can they really fix/build an AFO that works as advertised without causing pain and pressure sores??
Is walking without fear of falling with a spastic foot and ankle an impossibility for an AFO? If so, tell me. I'll make an appointment with another orthopedic surgeon tomorrow to schedule an amputation. I'm so tired of dealing with this! I mean I've been fitted for 6 AFOs (with the possibility of a 7th) in the past 8 years! All I want to do is WALK WITHOUT PAIN!! <stepping off the rant box>