Announcement

I'm taking the week and maybe two off because of family issues. Some you've read about here while others lay hidden. With Ricky's death, I realized it was easier for me to deal with all of them than leave it to my family to deal with it. I'll be back on Sundays for my Stroke Survival, but that's it for now.

No, this is not my car! But it feels like it.

Some things in my life have been put in the back seat for so long that it's time to deal with all of them for a fresh start again.

Now keep in mind that I drive a van so I have two back seats and a cargo boot to deal with also. It may take some time.{Grin}

For decades I have used the front seat-back seat (think automobile) method of dealing with issues in my life. Everything not life and death, literally, was shoved in the back seat. Eventually everything shifted to the front seat and was dealt with. In the past year since my stroke, too much has been put in the back seats that it's overflowing into the front seat, squeezing me tighter and tighter.

As with all things it's time to put things in order again. Usually this has been thought of as Spring cleaning, but my Spring was filled with more issues than I could handle. I realized part of my problem with writing was all these undealt with issues. They were niggling in the back corner of my mind. The guarded position of waiting for the other shoe to drop. I may have a disorganized/organized lifestyle, but I do have my limits to when I have to do away with the abundance of clutter in an organized fashion.

So see y'all back on Sunday.

Sunday Stroke Survival ~ Walking Post Stroke

Happy Father's Day to all you fathers out there and Mom's playing both parts.

Today a video with a twist. At least my take on it...
I want you to notice and keep in mind a few things while watching this video so you might have to watch it twice.

• Walking post stroke is like this cat wearing shoes.
• The everyday non survivors is depicted by the Yorkie whizzing by the camera. He's busy going about his life with momentary pauses while he checks on the welfare of the cat.
• Of all the videos I watched about walking, this one best exemplifies what walking is like post stroke to me.
• The cat's movements take on an almost fluid motion when he reaches the door. It is the same for recovering stroke survivors...with practice our movements become more fluid as our brains rewire and it can takes years.

 

(standard youtube license)

Unless you are recovering from a stroke or recovered from a stroke, you don't understand the thought that goes into each step you take. While you may get a chuckle or two from the video, you feel for the cat attempting to walk. There are other diseases that can relate but here I'm talking about stroke recovery.

• When people zip by me in their normal everyday hustle, I want to shout, "Hey, I'm walking here!" In my best Bronx, NY accent. Both in jubilation and in irritation.
• When old friends see me now with pity in their eyes, my response, "At least I'm upright on three legs. That's better than I was a year ago on wheels and a walker."
• When my DH (darling hubby) utters the same phrase for the umpteenth time of, "Take your time. We're in no hurry." I want to yell back, "I'm at top speed. I'm not going any faster." No, I don't say it, but I'm thinking it very loudly.
• When people watch me walk my mind yells back at them, "Give me a break! I've only been walking a year."

I have to squeeze my butt muscle to engage my hamstring to lift my leg and bend the knee to take a step. Then in reverse, I have to relax the gluteal muscle slowly to disengage my hamstring, straightening the leg, after the step so my foot doesn't fall straight down to the floor with a thud.  That's a focused effort with each and every  step I take with my right leg.

Similar to the engage brain before speaking, I have to engage my brain before taking a step. Yes, there is a pause between my steps with my right leg if I have to measure things like rugs, level transitions, and steps up and down because that's a skilled motion.

I don't need a balancing tool (cane) to walk on even surfaces. Yes,while on level surfaces such as linoleum or hard wood floors, I can manage a fairly normal gait with feet extending past the midline in secession, but it still takes concentration. Eventually, the neural connections in my brain will rewire and the steps will become automatic again. I walk with a cane for additional balance and it's not the cute little walk that Charlie Chaplain did. I know quite a few of you are scratching your head going, "Who?" So I'll leave you with this...

 

Nothing is impossible with determination.

Friday Fun ~ Family Gathering

Happy Father's Day to all you fathers out there and the women who play both roles in their household.

Today we are off to the beach. All our girls are throwing a beach party B-B-Q for their dads, my husband and my ex. Also Poppa Jack, their grandfather.

Yes, we'll be heading for the same beach we went to last time on St Simons Island. With plenty to see and do for all. Plus easy access for us.

I had to promise not to fall this time. Last time, my husband started to fall and reached out to steady him. After he steadied I lost my balance and plopped on my ample derriere into a thickly, grassed incline. No harm, no foul. Although I could have done without the worried, hovering of my SH (darling hubby). Two nice, burly men offered their assistance. Gotta love the south for well mannered good old boys.

But if the situation arises again, I'd do the same thing. They all know I would so we've set up a system where I am to call one of the girls upon arrival to the park, wait for one of my teenage grandsons to be escorted to the park from the parking lot. Not for me, but my husband. I can walk very well by myself, thank you. Another will carry anything I bring with us. The same will be true when going to the car to leave.

It's a far cry from last Father's Day when I was in the rehab hospital and my father had to drive 75 miles to get his Father's Day well wishes. I much prefer the fun and sun of the beach.

Well, I'm off to make cake pops and brownies for the picnic. Have a good weekend y'all.

Wednesday Writerly Way ~ Determination to be an Author

Oops, I forgot it's Indie Life Day!

A writer friend of mine has a blog where he reviews and
posts on a variety of subjects. Malcolm Campbell has always had a witty point of view. So I ran across this on his blog and decided to share it here.

For those of you going through the query and rejection stage of publishing  You are not alone. HERE's the list. The most notable is the beloved Dr. Seuss. I was amazed at the comments that were given for the rejections because now in retrospective- it's a moot point.

The point is...the author didn't give up on their efforts. One author got 79 rejections before they finally sold their manuscript.

I can remember one author who lightning struck in reverse, like me, who got a publisher with contracts in hand and recommending agents in the past two decades. That other author is Jack McDevitt. But then he's been in publishing as long as I have. But Jack had been querying publishers after a long search for an agent.

What's an agent going to do when you tell them that TOR (or in my case Doubleday) has recommended them? Snatch them up, of course. It's almost guaranteed cash in the bank. Admittedly, this is backwards of what it's really like being an author submitting to an agent. Nowaday, you have to go through the agent gatekeeper first.

On a side note...I got a call last week from one of my old agents about the projected completion date on my new WIP, Don't Get Your Panties in a Wad.

Projected completion date? I've just spent two month NOT writing and dealing with my life. All I could answer was, "I dunno." Not very professional I know, but it was an honest answer. I haven't even made the decision to traditionally publish the book yet. Jokingly, I answered, "Never." Needless to say she didn't take it so well. I basically told her,  "Don't call me. I'll call you." Agents hate that so I might be in the market for another one eventually because I'll tell the other agent the same thing. If I traditionally publish this book. I've got to finish the rough 1st draft first.

This was one of the major reasons I've temporarily stopped traditionally publishing. I didn't need the added pressure. I used to only blog about my books when they were in their final editing stages and I changed tactics with this one because my stroke recovery is current and ongoing. Readers wanted to know what was going on in my life and my stroke recovery is up front in my focus right now. At the time it seemed like a logical decision.

You may have noticed I no longer post snips of this book on my blog. That's the reason why. It was garnering too much attention from agents and editors alike. I'm determined, yes, but not that determined. Once upon a time, I could handle set in stone deadlines, but that's not the case now. It takes the joy of writing away. Let's face it. I am are more apt to do what is pleasurable to do than what I am are forced to do. Hey, I'm human. When I am struggling to accomplish it during recovery in the first place, joy is important.

So why is determination essential to the author?

• To plow your way through from beginning to end of a manuscript takes determination. 
• To edit until you are bleary eyed and want to chuck the whole manuscript and not takes determination. 
• To believe that your book has merit and deserves to be published takes determination. 
• To get stacks of rejection letters and keep on searching for an agent takes determination. 
• When the quest for publication stretches into the years mark takes determination.

Do you have the determination to be 

a published author?

Keep writing and loving the Lord.

Condolences and Prayers

Rick's family in 2003

After I finished posting yesterday, I got a call from my Aunt Viv. My cousin Ricky had a massive stroke.

Now Ricky and I go way back to the cradle almost. He's the same age as my little sister, Janet. Every time we were in country we always stopped at Uncle Ferdy's house before visiting my grandmother.

When we arrived in the States after the fiasco in Ceylon in 1971, that family was the first to welcome us home. We were shell shocked and exhausted both mentally and physically. I remember well how Uncle Ferdy's boys drew us out into some sort of normalcy instead of constantly looking over our shoulders for people trying to kill us. Yes, a lot of Escape from Second Eden is factual and really happened.

Between playing hoops, which now I'm not sure I won all those games against the boys fair and square, and exploring excavation sites, they drew us out and started the healing process. I'll be forever grateful to all of them for that. I lost my lucky elephant hair ring on one of those excursions. Ricky promised to keep looking for it even after we left. He never found it.

I was planning to go down to Jacksonville and play cheerleader for him this weekend. The first road trip for me alone since my stroke. Each day I am thankful to be alive and still able to hug my children and grandchildren since my stroke. I'm constantly reminded of those who are not able to do that. One third of the  million plus a year who suffer strokes are not here anymore. I am, for all my griping and complaining, one of the lucky ones. I am a survivor who can relearn what I lost.

I went to the family website, since we are all stretch across this country and a few others, and read where he had died just after midnight. My heart is heavy for his wife, three daughters, and grandchildren today.

Please send a prayer of comfort for the family he left behind.