After your stroke, where do you find peace and solace? Last week, I talked about gardening and the death of my much loved bunny. I know Diane over at Pink House on the Corner is mourning the ten year anniversary of her late husband's stroke and his subsequent death. Others like me, are uncelebrating their stroke anniversaries or deaths of loved ones even dumb animals.
I'm also combating cancer, again. I'm undergoing treatments again, but this time as a patient. We are slowly coming out of virus lock downs. I still haven't had my biannual haircut so my hair is aggravating me. I need to have it cut before it starts falling out. Not much is more devastating than finding huge clumps of hair on your pillow each morning. I usually avoid this by cutting my hair to 3" around my head before treatments start but I couldn't this time. It doesn't seem so bad when it happens. I know this is a psychological trick, but it helps me.
It all keeps piling up and on my huge line backer shoulders.
I could start spouting platitudes like 'God doesn't give us more than we can handle,' and 'That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger,' or better yet, 'This is the easiest cancer to cure.' Doh! I know this I've beaten it before and it came back!!
Everyone has a point when they need to fall back, regroup, and recharge so they can keep on surviving. You may not wanted to survive your stroke, but guess what, you did. You had to put on your big girl panties and deal. You've had your fifteen minutes on the pity pot and didn't want to get off. I've been all these places too and right now, I have felt like Atlas carrying the world on my shoulders.
No, please don't feed my pity pot monster.
It's big enough!
I pulled myself off the pot already. I escaped into my usual place for solace and peace. Within me, as a Christian, I rely on the Holy Spirit and I lean on my Heavenly Father. I go into a trance like state while I physically do other things like pulling weeds, planting seeds, and watching nature. Being in turmoil is nothing new between my Father and me. It seems I'm always asking "why?" and "help me understand!" Eventually, the answers either come or don't come, but I feel better. I'm consoled and at peace again. In a way it's quite irritating. It's like demanding an answer from someone and getting so much warm fuzzies that I don't realize until much later that He didn't answer my demand. But that's okay, it's worth the consoling peace and sense of well being I feel. This works for me.
Some others meditate, it's basically the same thing. You are centered afterwards. Others will pray and only pray. Others will let it all turn to anger. This is the dangerous type. They strike out at everyone within reach and 'scream' at the top of their lungs. If this releases them and they come away calmer, this isn't necessarily bad. But if it turns inward and festers it accomplishes nothing. I won't go into the self-destructive behaviors here, but others also do this.
I've spent decades dealing and counseling folks. I'll escape as often as I need to. I learned how bad and self-destructive I can be to myself. I am and always will be a recovering alcoholic and heroin abuser. It's now been over half my life free of this abuse, but I'm still in recovery. Just like my living post stroke or recovering from grief. It never ends it will always be part of who you are. It's what you do with it that makes the difference. I choose life whatever that may entail. I put my big girl's panties and armor of God's Word on every day.
Where are you in this equation? Find your place for emotional solace and peace no matter what happens. Know how you reacts when the pressure mounts. Find your relief valve and run to it. Is your relief valve not working, be adventurous and find a new one. There isn't a one size fits all. You have to find what works for you.
Nothing is impossible.