Sunday Stroke Survival: Living Post Stroke

In ten days it will be my 8th anniversary of my first stroke. This time of year I tend to evaluate my recovery that I've made. This is hampered my reoccurring strokes since my first one setting me back to almost square one with each new stroke. They effected the left side of basal ganglia part of my brain like the first one. I have to say it is old hat and quite frustrating.

But then again, I'm extremely thankful the new strokes didn't happen in another part of my brain like affecting my left. functioning side. I'd really be in trouble then, wouldn't I? I'd be up the creek with paddles, but no functioning arms to paddle with. Anyone who has suffered multiple strokes on both sides of the brain can attest to this.

In the last year of living post stroke, I've had a baclofen pump installed which worked beautifully. I was winning the war against the progressing, constant post stroke spasticity. This is before an infection caused it to be removed. I spoke to the neurosurgeon who did the placement last week via telemedicine. There was no way I was driving to Atlanta with it's over 4,000 active cases of COVID-19. I'm just saying. He asked if I was ready to have a new unit installed. I told him that again I was dealing with thyroid cancer. Can you still call it thyroid cancer if you no longer have a thyroid gland? I dunno. He was shocked but let me know when this virus thing was under control and my cancer was gone, that he would make himself available. That's good to know. I'm still n the fence about it. I mean dying and all, it has my thumb wavering between yea and nay.

So my post stroke recovery progress was hopeful, but ended up being nil.

Having said that, I made progress and gained confidence in trying new ways to adapt. I've taken over the full garden again. So I'm not only the one that prepares and preserves our food, but produces it as well.  My corn, green beans, and English peas are up and growing in the garden. I'm already cutting radish greens, lettuces, and spinach. I did miss my homegrown salads so much. I made it down and back up the twenty foot, 45 degree slope picking up kindling for our wood stove this winter without my cane. I only fell once, but I got up and continued. I've got my 5th new AFO fitted. I ended up buying my shoes for the first time since my stroke. GRRR! I only walk with a slight limp without all the rockers. Only slightly unbalancing, but not bad.

I've lost the battle with my post stroke spasticity and the pain is back for now. The war is still raging on. There has to be an answer out there.  One that won't cause major problems like dying. My neurologist told me they now have a neurosurgeon who can perform the same surgery with the pump in Athens. It's still 60 miles from home, but it only takes an hour to drive there instead of two to three hours to Atlanta. But I "love" my neurosurgeon at Emory. I don't have to make that decision for a few more months. Who knows, maybe it will be a mute point in the end. Time will tell.

I'll keep this short and semi-sweet this week. I'm back in full gardening mode.

Nothing is impossible.

Dry Needling and Updates

So starting last week I began going to my dry needling sessions again. It's two weeks until my next Botox series of injections. I took approximately a month off from dry needling because of my husband's impending death. So this past Monday I went in for my second dry needling session. Between the Botox wearing thin ( the spasticity is back), my fibromyalgia flaring up, the anniversary of my mother dying, and just general stress of my husband dying, the funeral and just living post stroke has really taken a toll on my body. I'm hurting everywhere. I imagine stress has been a major contributing factor.

The down side of dry needling is that when you take a month off, as for me, the positive effects wear off. The deadened trigger points come alive again. But you have to remember that I have severe spasticity too. I'm not blessed with episodes that only last an evening, but the kind that lasts for days unless something intervenes to stop the process like dry needling. I don't even want to imagine what it would be like without the three muscle relaxers I'm on.

With all the events happening in the past couple of weeks, I was back to taking my full doses of muscle relaxers again until I was free to do the dry needling again. I was even taking pain medicine over the last week just to manage four hours of sleep.

Anyhow, back to Monday's session. Like most stroke survivors, I'm on a blood thinner. It's been downgraded from Coumadin to Plavix. Yeah, that's progress for me and my high platelet count. I'm just warning you because the picture I'm going to show you of my lower bicep, inner elbow, and inner forearm looks bad. It actually doesn't hurt much at all.

6 hrs after needling

All those red dots and bruises are needle insertion spots. Yes, my arm was so tight it took over thirty insertions with the needles in this area to stop the cramping, restore full extension of my arm, and stop the associated pain. That's not including the insertions into my upper bicep, deltoids, trapezius, or lower down my forearm and thumb, or my leg. I had over two hours of fun just to stop the pain and restore some movement. It was well over 100 spots by the time my therapist was through. But I finally got some needed relief. Each insertion gave me a little bit more relief each time. So it was well worth it.

I'm still a firm believer of this type of therapy.Dry needling has brought me relief when I should be in agony right now. Now for a shocker...I moved my thumb and index finger on command yesterday. It wasn't much but it's a start.

This week I spent two hours on the phone with Social Security this week trying to reapply for disability. The major change is that I'm now attempting to get spousal benefits. The interviewer said that I should get an accept/deny/ or request for more information letter about it in THREE months. I'd like them to try and live like I will have to for three months without income. He then followed up with it could possibly take A YEAR or so to be decided. Ya gotta love the bureaucracy at work.

It's a good thing the life insurance and our pre-planning will kick in within 45 days or I'd really be in trouble. With my book sales in a steady decline and no new titles to offer, I'd really be stuck. I believe in being prepared as much as possible.I just have to be patient. Ugh! There's that word again...patient.

As far as my grief process goes, it's been strange. I'm actually more relieved by my husband's death than miserable. But maybe it's the lull before the storm. I'm not in denial because I know the love of my life is beyond my reach. I miss him. There's moments in my day when it will hit me that I can't get a arm rub of encouragement from him and it hurts. But it's not as devastating as I thought it would be. I doubt my love for him because of the lack of this, but then I'll shove that aside because he was my soul mate. Maybe because I saw him in so much pain and wasted before he died that I'm thankful he isn't here like that. He was so sick for over a decade. Now if he had been the man he'd been the man I'd married, I would be honestly grieving. Without a shadow of doubt in my mind. Maybe this is God's Grace to me.

I had my son in law rip out the wood wheelchair ramp this week. It was a hazard with me hanging ten on it every time it rained. We've had almost daily thunderstorms since Spring. I had been avoiding the ramp like the plague since the last time I fell. As he pulled up on the edge where it was attached to the cement, out poured a sea of red and black carpenter ants. It was even worse when he finally

pulled the ramp all the way off and exposed the nest full of eggs. All the ants were scurrying around. Each one grabbing an egg to carry. I spent the next three hours with a can of ant spray and doing the one legged squash-the-ant dance. I still didn't kill them all. This would not have been possible if my beloved was still alive. The chemicals in the spray would have irritated his breathing. It probably didn't do me any good either. I had a nagging headache for two days afterwards. Yeah Jo, poison the ants and poison yourself too.

That leads me to question, why is it that an amputee can hop one one leg, but me as a stroke survivor can't? Try as I might, I can't hop on one leg without losing my balance. How about it other strokees, can you or am I just Abby Normal again? Maybe I'm just to old to do it. Nah, that can't be it.

How has your week been?

Happy Valentine's Day

For a holiday that the card and candy companies thought up to drum up business, it's a happy day for me personally. I'm going to get mushy here.

Today is the 22-year anniversary of my husband asking me to be his bride. It has been a short and long time. If I had known what would transpire, would have said "yes" all those years ago? Yep! Because for better or worse, and in spite all the garbage that flushed through the pipes he is still my beloved.

Marriage is about give and take and bringing out the best of each other. Good and bad has a way ofbalancing out in the long scheme of things. I thank my ex-husband each and every day (although we rarely speak) for the bad marriage we had because I probably would not have appreciated my reward for going through the hell I went through with him. Yes, sometimes you have to suffer the bad to appreciate the good.

The saying, "you don't appreciate what you've got until it's gone" isn't true if you embrace what you've got daily. If you've got a relationship that you are committed to, that good or bad is more valuable as a whole, and you've found your soul mate stick with it. I've got that. I've got my knight in shining armor ready to battle against the whole world for me. A man who will stand beside me even if we disagree. I will miss that when it's gone. Will I really appreciate it when it's gone? No because I'll always be able to refer back to it.

So honey, this blog is for you. I don't write romance, but when you live the life we've lived who needs books.

Happy Valentine's Day y'all!