Sunday Stroke Survival: Small Talk Socialization

With Aphasia, sometimes making small talk is challenging. Often us living post stroke folks shy away from situations that require this type of interaction. Or, we go, but say very little.It's difficult making small talk when you have to think about every word before you verbalize it.

But still, I do try, but I'm not always successful. It is easier in a structured environment when most of the talking is about a narrow topic. It might seem strange to say this when I write a blog every week and sound very convincing and learned. But writing a blog is different than speaking one on one. Yes, I can be convincing and learned in a conversation with someone else, but they need the patience of a saint to be able to listen past what I'm trying to say for me to be effective.

This is where Mel and I mesh so well. She has the experience of her speech therapy training to help me fill in the blanks. She'll ask leading questions to decipher my gibberish moments and translate them. In this respect, I'm luckier than most aphasics. I'm thankful for this blessing. It takes very few words to get my point across. When we're out in public, she serves as my go between without others being aware. We just seem to be on the same page as she chats in finishing my thoughts when I stumble in my speech.

There are a lot of times when I'm without her and have to muddle through. I was in Walmart today. It was a colder rainy day. As usual, I had to wait on a motorized shopping cart. I saw a woman riding through the exit. "Ma'am, I ...need...that... you're done." A simple enough phrase, right? Even with the pauses. The cold and wet affected my voice so it came out froggy, loud, and badly slurred. Still, I got my point across with hand gestures. The lady nodded, grabbed her cane and bags, and she gave me the cart.

Now, two or three word phrases don't pose difficulty for me. I've mastered most the common ones very well over the past six years. "Thank you" and "God bless you" being the most common for me, but others come with a price of slurred words and longer pauses come into play.

I reached the checkout when I realized that I had left my ATM card at home. I reached up and took all my items off the conveyor belt and put it back in my basket muttering to myself, "Stupid! Forgot it!" I wheeled myself to the front of the store and left the cart full of my stuff.

It was pissing rain outside as I made my way to my van. I was still belittling myself as a man walked over to me covering me with his umbrella. I started to protest that I was parked two cars down from him and I was fine. The words other than thank you came out as gibberish. The man shushed me and and said, "Let me bless you." Who was I to argue with that?

I drove home feeling thoroughly blessed. I grabbed my ATM card and headed back to the store. I was under no illusions of expecting my cart of shopping to still be there. Yet lo and behold, there it sat. Someone had been kind enough to turn it around so it faced inside the store and turned it off to preserve the battery  power. There wasn't anyone around so I said, "Thanks to you, Lord and bless that kind soul." The words didn't come out right, but Jesus speaks aphasia too.

I picked up my remaining items and headed for the checkout. I had to pick up lighters to light the wood stove with. I paid for my items. As I was leaving, an elderly man pointed at my cart. The words were a loud gibberish. I nodded and grabbed my bags and cane, and gave him a knowing cockeyed smile as I handed over the cart to him.

As I was walking to my van a young woman with a small child in tow approached. She had an umbrella. It was a huge golf type umbrella which shielded all three of us. She waited patiently as I unhooked the bags from my spastic affected arm. She waited until I was n my van. "Thank you. God bless you as much as you blessed me today," I said to her. I didn't slur or stumble once.

Nothing is impossible.