Sunday Stroke Survival: Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care

Do you have a designated person for Power of Attorney for Health Care? You should. I'll tell you why this is important. Who to choose as ideal candidate? I'll give you a few pointers that I used in choosing mine and why I ruled out certain people in my life.

Now a Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care (DPOAHC), although the person selected can do both, it is different than a General Power of Attorney which mainly deals with financial matters and property. This concerns decisions about how you are taken care of if you are unable to make the decisions yourself due to mental status, illness, or near death situations. Without someone to speak to medical personnel are legally obligated to do the best in their power to keep you alive. Many court cases have been filed to end a life long after all hopes of a quality of life is extinguished. Even the state or country has a say in keeping you alive without a DPOAHC.

To date, I have been the DPOAHC for five people. It isn't an easy thing to do when it's your loved one and easier to do the more distant they are from you. I am level headed in all situations. I can look at the whole picture given the facts, and can put another person's desire above my own.

Who to choose...

When you are married. Most likely this is your choice for a DPOAHC. Some reasons you might not want your spouse to decide. If you can't trust your spouse to follow through with your desires. Their emotional state is in question. Going against your desire to keep you alive and with them overrides your wishes to pull the plug so to speak.

A prime example, I was my mother's DPOAHC. When her time was neared, she went into severe respiratory distress at her doctor's office. She was transported to the ER. I made sure they had a copy of her DNR and my DPOAHC long before she reached this point. It didn't hurt that they had previously worked with all of them also. In the ER, my father, with tears in his eyes, begged me to let them do something. The ER staff looked to me for directions not my father. I shook my head no. She didn't want that. I held firm. Care and comfort only. I'd seen the x-ray of her chest done before I arrived. She had quarter sized pieces of lung tissue not affected by her cancer. Oxygen and an IV was all I would allow knowing it would be only a day or two at best that she would live. But, still my father begged me to let them do more. It's all she wanted. My father, even though he was her spouse, would not have been a good DPOAHC for her.

Keep in mind that inmost states in the US, the husband has this decision to make for you unless you designate someone else. Even if you are estranged, separated, or divorced. The same goes for your next of kin in case your spouse is deceased. While I'm thinking about it, who is your emergency contact in your wallet? Insurance policy(auto, home, bank, medical, life)? This may be the person contacted if immediate decisions are needed.

You should check and/or change this periodically. I recently did this after my husband died. I even found some spots where I listed my father as an emergency contact. My father is imfirmed and suffers from rapid onset Alzheimer. There's no way he could make any decisions for me.

You sure don't want an enemy to make these decisions for you. Don't have any trusted friends or family? Choose your attorney. If your attorney goes out of business or retires, hire a new one pronto.

When choosing mine, I had a few choices. I weighed the pros and cons of each closest family members. I mean I've known them in good times and in bad all theirs or my life, right? I also have a very large pool to pick from (4 generations) It was a good place to start. I decided on two. You can have more than one. If one isn't available, the other can step in. My choices are my one of my adopted sisters and my #2 daughter.

The reasons for my choice are many, but most important is both understand and will do want I want. Both are medically trained and have Hospice experience. They have the ability to step outside the  situation (family) and make logical choices. They weigh options and outcomes. It doesn't matter if we are at odds, they will still abide by my wishes no matter what.

The fact of the matter is, right now, I have the time and energy to devote to this decision. Now, is the best time to make this decision without pressure. I can think logically and sort through the pros and cons of candidates. Nobody likes planning for their own death. I'm really not planning it by doing this now. I'm choosing my quality of life. I've got the time to hash out exactly how I want to continue living.

Even though my DPOAHC know my wishes, it is also spelled out on the legally binding form that was witnessed and notarized. I actually  had four copies notarized: one for each DPOAHC designee and two for me. One of the copies I carry with me always, and the other sits in a file folder with all my important papers. I want to make sure my wishes are known.

Have back-ups to your back-ups.

Depending on your state, you can define how you exit this earth. You've got some decisions to make also. A Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) means no CPR. Whether or not you want fluids and/or nutrition is another consideration. Whether you want mechanical life support or what is known as care and comfort only. If placed on a ventilator under what conditions should it be turned off? All these are  decisions that need to be addressed in your DPOAHC document and discussed at length with your designee(s). Georgia is not a right to die state. This is the closest I can come to it legally.

Hopefully, you will never need this document, but if you do...better to take the time to do it now. But living post stroke with aphasia. it just makes sense. Plus, I'm looking at hours under the knife in the near future. If I hadn't made these decisions years ago, I'd make it now.

Nothing is impossible.