Sunday Stroke Survivor ~ Bye Bye OT

Well this week saw the final hurrah of my last Botox series of injections. The spasticity has returned to full force. In other words, I can't do nuthin' with my arm and leg.

Well almost nothing. I have a bit more mobility than I started with, but I have to really work for it. It now takes 45 minutes to get my wrist out of the 90 degree angle into a neutral position. Before the Botox, it just wasn't going. So putting on my splits and braces is a two-hour long process instead of 15 minutes. If it's not my wrist and hand it's my bicep holding me back.

After Fluto and paraffin, it still took 40 minutes for my therapist working with my hand

and fingers to get them partially relaxed, but the tendons were so tight. That pretty much ate up my session. I looked at her and she looked back at me, and I said, "We're just pissing in the wind trying to stay dry aren't we?" She nodded her head sadly. That was my last therapy appointment until after my next Botox treatments.

I knew it was coming last week. I started achieving less with more spasms. I was reaching 8 out of 10 pain levels a lot more than the week before. Even the grip I had accomplished during my sessions is gone. I'm back to my inverted, contracted self.

But the good news is that I've got a neurologist that is all for anything I want to try. Ask her and she'll write an order for it. For someone like me who thinks outside the box most times, this is a godsend. Now if something is truly unreasonable after I voice what and why I want it, she'll deny it. She is the doctor after all. But just like me having all my ducks in a row when I ask for something; she has to do the same when dealing with me. But I like this relationship and it is a relationship. A partnership borne out of mutual respect and wanting to see me achieve. These are all my doctor patient relationships. I don't have the time or money for anything else. There are just too many ologist in our lives.

My next scheduled Botox is on the 23rd so I should be back in therapies (PT and OT) by June. It is my hope to strengthen the weakened muscles to compensate and eliminate the spasticity for good. Otherwise I wouldn't put myself through this. I'm looking forward to the day when I can say, "Spasticity? What spasticity?" It may be a long time coming, but I'll continue for as long as it takes.

Nothing is impossible with determination.