I've been delaying my decision on whether or not to have my regularly scheduled Botox series. Mostly out of fear because of last time. I mean I've lost the little bladder continence I had and went full time in pull-ups due to the bladder and kidney stresses due to an infection. I was on the verge of kidney failure. The resulting infection also caused my bladder sling (implant) to fail. It actually ripped a piece of my hip muscle when it broke loose causing six weeks of pain and an unstable gait until it healed. Yeah, I was scared of it happening again.
Personally, I hate procrastinating because it always seems to come back and bite you in the rear. This time, as usual, it did. I knew my Botox injections were scheduled for the middle of March. It's always between the 5th and the 20th...except this time. It started with me not being able to find my appointment card. It's only been three months and it's not like I have an uneventful life. No problem, I thought. I could just call the office an get it. Well, I did. My appointment wasn't for next week, but for Wednesday! As in two days. I kept the appointment.
My therapist had a family emergency and had to fly to Scotland. He won't be back until the 16th. At my query, nope, nobody else was certified to do the dry needling in this town. Or, even in a 100-mile radius.They asked if I wanted to see regular therapist for stretching. I'm technically a new patient, they don't understand that my arm and leg do not relax enough once the spasticity sets in full force like it is now. My spasticity post-stroke isn't a sometimes thing that causes pain and muscle tightness like it for some very fortunate survivors, it's almost constant without Botox or dry needling. Think Cerebral Palsy spasticity. I have brief moments during a day when my arm isn't drawn up to my chest in spasm. So at the present moment while I wait the one to two weeks for the Botox to take effect or dry needling I'm in pain constantly.
Not that I blame my therapist for abandoning me. If roles were reversed, I would have dropped everything if my mom gad needed me and was at death's door. What am I talking about. I did do it when it was my mother. So I totally understand.
On another front, my hubby decided he was no embarrassed by wearing pull-ups last weekend and decided he wanted to wear regular underwear again. I really can't blame him either. If I had my druthers, I wouldn't be wearing them either.He had been doing well about using the urinal and bedside commode. No accidents or added work for me. [Dum, dum, dum] Murphy's law strikes again this weekend. He had a major blowout of the bladder and bowel type again. Made worse because all of the weight he's lost makes his briefs two sizes too big. So the briefs caught none but getting soaked through. Why does this always seem to happen on the weekend when hospice was on short staff? As if, I'd really call them for this even though I could.
I got him cleaned up, in fresh clothes and bedding. Of course, all this commotion increased his pain and anxiety levels so it was more Ativan and morphine. Not to mention mine as well. My past demon of drug abuse raised its head but a quick prayer slayed it. Even after thirty plus years of being dry, the demon still haunts me whispering in my ear the same old excuses, What could it hurt?...Just one time... It's available, why not?...You could use it...You deserve this break. I flicked that little demon off my shoulder once again. Yes! Victory! I took an hour nap as a reward instead. He took a two-hour nap. Needless to say, my hubby is in pull-ups again.
He also lost another pound this week. I had thought he was doing well by maintaining 92.5 lbs. While he's teetered around with a half pound for a month now (gain and loss), I didn't expect a full pound when I got him up on the scale.Strawberries are in season now and the store has them on sale so I've been making him strawberry shortcakes as snacks. Think of a cake soupy with whip cream, strawberry sugar syrup and pureed strawberries. Of course, he's got his three bags of chocolate a week too. I really stocked up after Valentine's Day and will again after Easter. There won't be another candy holiday until Halloween. I'm still making him eclair cakes in between. Yes, I do feed him regular food too. In fact he dined on home made Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes, and green beans yesterday. Today's menu is BBQ chicken, potato salad (made from leftover mashed potatoes), and my homemade corn relish. I still try to make meals tasty and interesting in spite of it being toddler food consistency for him.
So that's this week's doom and gloom report. How has your week been?
