Sunday Stroke Survival: One Surgery Down and One to Go

My T-CAR procedure is done. The gauze was not as heavily spotted with junk (clots and plaque) as it was with my left carotid. But then, my right carotid was only at 80% blocked where the left was 98%. The stents will hold the vessels open for a few more years and lessen my chances of having another stroke (maybe). A normal blood flow feeding my brain with oxygen is always a good thing.  Maybe the renewed blood to my brain will combat the CRAFT (can't remember a friggin' thing) I've been experiencing, but I doubt it. LOL I think it has more to do with my strokes and age. But having a normal blood flow feeding my brain with oxygen can't hurt, right? I figure it took over 60 years for the arteries to get that clogged, so I'll be long dead before I'll need it again.

Up next is another biopsy on the mass in my neck. The scan showed the thyroid was gone, but what's the new mass? That's the big question. Is it more cancer? I'll find out next week. All I know is I'm fed up with cancer and having my throat cut. My Mom had three surgeries for her cancer and the scar tissue was horrendous. This will make the fifth time for me. My surgeon is not relishing the idea. He had a difficult enough time the last time. He spent more time removing the scar tissue than removing the mass. It also takes me longer to heal by weeks. But in a way, I'm thankful this is another form of cancer that is not as aggressive as the first one I had nor killed my Mom. Well, I'm not borrowing trouble (much), I'll wait for the biopsy results.

The bright point is I'll meet my deductible and maximum out of pocket expense for 2021 in January. So any further doctors and treatments are paid in full for the rest of the year with these two procedures. I'm praying for the extra $1,400 stimulus package to offset this medical expenditure, or they'll stand in line for a monthly payout.  I love my Medicare and my BCBS/Anthem supplement through the college. 💓💓💓Each year, I experience no medi-gap troubles on prescriptions and my last quarter, my drugs are free. It's a very nice Christmas bonus each year.

Living post stroke and with the medical problems I do have ain't cheap. There's drugs, therapies, doctors, surgeries, laboratory fees, various orthotic devices, and the list goes on and on especially if you're me. I have multiple ( I don't know if this is the right word but...) complications due to my post stroke life like spasticity, tremors, and PBA which adds to the list. I mean six AFOs in almost nine years to the tune of $1500 each plus special shoes yearly because my spasticity alters the way I walk and my balance. And, the maintenance of devices new pads on canes, walker, shower chair, and bedside commode, I had to replace the tires on my wheel chair due to dry rot, resoling my shoes because I wear out the ones on my shoes in six months, and straps and buckles on my AFO because insurances doesn't pay for them and they break. All chip away at spendable cash in my tight budget.

Wohoo! I got a COLA increase this year. It covers the increase in my BCBS coverage THANKS BE TO GOD! I've been luckier than most in this respect. I have a friend who is also receiving survivor benefits, but her supplement are piece mealed between A/B, D &F on separate supplement policies and it leaves her with twice the cost as my one supplement. And, she has a deductible and hits the medi-gap on her prescriptions in December. If she gets an increase in her supplement, she can't pay her power bill and/or groceries for the month. I help her out when I can, but I'm almost in the same boat.  That's the one big plus about growing your own is that we can share if we need to. I'm counting my blessings for my beloved who is still looking after me.

Nothing is impossible.

Sunday Stroke Survival: Incontinence? Nope. It's Worse!

When you talk about incontinence, you mainly think about the bladder. When you talk about bowel incontinence, it's something else entirely. I don't have this problem except in cases of diarrhea. But even the "norms" have a control issue with this, don't they? During these times, even they wish they had diapers to save wear and tear of their clothes, and embarrassment of accidents. But I'm already in them.

I had a incident this past weekend that caused me some real concern. Of course it happened over the weekend, it's an addendum to the old Murphy's Law. If something happens when you need your PCP, it'll happen on a weekend, holiday, or night when his/her office is closed. Then, you you have to weigh your options under is it bad enough to warrant an ER visit.

Now being a former emergency medical professional, I weigh this differently than most people. It's more of a question of "will it kill me if I wait until Monday?" I don't use the ER frivolously at any time after normal business hours. Things like a cut that needs stitches to close with bleeding I can't control by other means, broken bones besides fingers and toes, or true medical emergencies like heart attack or a stroke...all of these require emergency services.

 (this is gross, but true)
The event of the weekend just barely fell in both category. I decided to wait until Monday. As is my usual habit, my bowels decided to do it's weekly or biweekly purge...slight constipation (hard stone like bowel movement), followed by a couple of normal movements, and ending with a couple of really loose movements. This is not true diarrhea, but diarrhea type movements as a way to finish purging my bowels.

Except this time was different. By the time I reached by two loose stool movements there was blood tinged mucous. The cramping (I now feel it just under my rib cage in my back) didn't stop. This was highly unusual. After I walked the bathroom and sit on the commode, the cramping got so bad I vagaled. (profuse sweating, dizziness, low BP, hot flash, a high heart rate). Instead of the expected bowel movement I passed huge bloody mucous blobs. The bloody parts were bright red which told me it was a rectal vein.

This continued through the night. By Saturday, I couldn't pass gas without spewing blood. If it got any worse, I'd go to the ER otherwise I'd wait until Monday to see my PCP. By Saturday evening, the mucousy blood movements stopped, but were replaced by blood clots. So whatever ruptured inside was trying to heal in spite of my blood thinners. When you are on blood thinners, you can expect to bleed more heavily than normal. I was thinking that was the case here.

By Sunday evening, I had two incidents of passing clots and it finally stopped. All during this time I ate and drank normally. I applied witch hazel patches to my anal area to shrink whatever was it was causing the bleeding. So, it wasn't like I wasn't doing nothing. At no time did the bleeding turn darker, like an upper GI bleed, nor more profuse other than I described.

Caveat here, I am a trained emergency medical professional. I do know when the abnormal turns critical and warrants further intervention of others. If you are not, by all means, go to the ER.At times, the thought of going through my mind and I would have if the symptoms gotten worse than what I experienced, or hadn't slowed, or if the amount of blood was greater than a monthly menstrual cycle. I would definitely carried my unhappy hinny to the hospital, I'm not stupid. I just don't panic in "emergency" type situations. I observe and evaluate first as I was taught.

I know from experience that the ER would have done a wait and observe the progress with a possible admission for the weekend. With a cleansing ritual to prepare for a scope or colonoscopy for the regular work week. Been there, done that, and don't want to go through that again. The only conclusion the internist could make after that fact was that the area in question was healed or healing on it's own and ordered a stool softener for a week. I've got plenty of stool softeners here after the surgeries of spring and summer if I need it.

By using prior knowledge, I saved myself a ER visit, possible admission, a colonoscopy and a bunch sheer aggravation of wasted money. But yes, I will appraise my PCP about this when I see him next week.

Nothing is impossible.

Redefining Disabilities Project~ Post #4

It's Tuesday and it's time for me to answer another question in the Redefining Disabilities Project.

 4. Do you think that it’s more important to emphasize medical treatment, life skills, community integration, or a combination of these things?

 I think all of it is important in varying aspects. A marriage of all of it will allow you to be successful in finding your new path. Medical treatment for a medical problem, adaptive life skills training to help you function in new adventure, and community integration to find resources to help you out along the way. And, success is what we strive for.

While in the beginning of course medical treatment is paramount. For me, it was a stroke. Strokes kill even when being treated. Continued care is necessary because the underlying cause still exists. Even if you keep your blood pressure under control (mine was at the time of my stroke), lower your cholesterol (as low as possible-genetics works against me), eat healthier and become the ideal weight, and reduce all the risk factors...you could still have another stroke. My cousin died from his stroke and he was perfectly healthy before it. So medical monitoring is essential.

Adaptive life skills help you function with your new disability or limitation. But then again, life is full of adaptations even without a disability.

I was given a leg quarter of BBQ chicken, my first nonmechanically, chopped meal, in the hospital for one meal. I was faced with the dilemma of how to eat it. If it had been separated at the joint between the leg and the thigh, it would have been an easy thing pick up each piece and eat it, but it wasn't. It was in one slippery piece. Now normally, I would pierce it with a fork and grab a knife with the other hand, I would cut it except I only had one working hand.

I could have called the aide to cut it for me, but I wouldn't have that luxury at home so I had to figure it out. I tried to cut it without holding it and ended up with it in my lap. Thanks be to God, they used bath towels as bibs. I tried putting the leg bone end in my mouth to hold it and cut it with the knife. I will say at this point, dinner knives are horrible to cut through anything. The chicken went one way, and the knife went the other making a racket went it hit the floor. Luckily the chicken only flew as far as the edge of the bedside table.


There was no way this commercially grown bird was going to beat me! After you raise and butcher a couple hundred birds, this should be easier. I should be able to figure it out. The sauce was tasty. It was in splotches on my face and hand and even up my nonfunctioning arm. The leg was juicy evident by the amount of juices flowing from where I stuck with a fork. I ended up sticking it with my fork and twisting tiny pieces of meat off the bone. And yes, I did call an aide after I'd eaten my fill to help clean up.

The next day I asked my occupational therapist what would have been the proper way to handle the chicken situation. She pulled out her catalog and showed me all the nifty utensils out there for one handed folks like me. It had been an overlooked life skill until I asked. Sometimes, you just have to ask questions to find the answer.
I might never fully recover the function I lost with my stroke, but while I'm waiting for all this therapy to pay off, I still have a honey-do list a mile long to complete. By using what I was taught and putting my own personal thinking outside the box into action, there are very few things I can't or shouldn't do. About the shouldn't dos, there are things that shouldn't be done because of safety issues. I know it's for my own protection, but I can't help pushing against boundaries.

Outside or community resources are often an untapped entity. For me, a stroke survivor stroke group, internet resources, and transportation were things I discovered in my first ten months after my stroke. In the back of my mind, I always knew they were there or something like it. I've pretty well found a wealth of resources for whatever I've needed for the things that I can't or shouldn't do. 

Driving to therapy appointments and the grocery store was impossible the first few months after my stroke. I had to depend on my children. But there were times that their work schedule interfered. I found a community transport that for a small fee would take me where I wanted to go. We don't have public transport in this town. Everyone drives or takes taxis (expensive!). But driving with my left foot and adding a knob to my steering wheel made driving again possible for me. Of course I had to build my confidence up to drive alone. I also found my seat belt made it impossible to turn left far enough to see clearly on my left side. A doctor's note exempts me legally from wearing one.

You are never alone. There might be someone in the community or internet who has walked in your shoes, and may have a solution for you. I'm constantly saying, "I wish there was..." I search and behold. The answer is apparent. 

But with all this information, and trial and error you go through, remember to pay it forward. What do I mean by this? You've gathered this hard won help. Now share it. That's what I do as part of my blog, peer visitations, and survivor groups. I share with others that can use the help. Don't just sit back and assume that you can't possibly be helpful to others because you are still going through the transition. You've learned more than someone just starting out on the journey. You've got a lot to offer. This is probably the most important community resource around.

This ends the fourth installment of the Redefining Disability Project. Tune in next Tuesday for another question and my answer.