Sunday Stroke Survival:I Just Figured It Out, DOH!

For years, since my first stroke in 2012, I've found it hard to explain my right foot's response to touch. Whenever I or some else touches my right (affected) foot up to just above the knee something goes haywire with the response to the sensation. Unless the foot is in full spasticity mode (weight bearing), it moves away from, or behaves badly in extreme movements (think violent bouncing ball type motion) until it ultimately goes into a clonus tremor. That's with a light touch, because with a firm touch it goes into solidly spastic mode and won't move at all. My response was cockeyed. Other than that, I couldn't figure out how to describe it effectively with my aphasia.

I finally figured it out. It's called a hypersensitive response to light touching. I didn't realize that hypersensitivity could happen post stroke. I only knew of feeling nothing and have feeling was possible. Chock it up to something else up they never taught me in nursing school or find anywhere else. Just like a sudden drop in blood sugar was a sign of a stroke. Or, at least it was for me Ms Abby Normal.

Reinforcing a new relearned word.

By writing about it, it helps me reinforcing the relearned word into my memory. It's one of the "tricks" I used with my youngest daughter after her TBI. Say it three times, write a sentence about it, and use it in a sentence. Her last thing to reinforce it was to use it properly for a week three times, this could be verbally or in writing. Sometime in the next month, I'd ask her for the word giving no clues. So I do the same thing for myself when dealing with my aphasia too. Makes sense, right?

(I decided to emphasize tools that helped  me conquer my limitations due to my stroke. So from now on, it will appear like this)

Getting back to my hypersensitivity. Now, I can talk about my limitations, or responses to what's happening using correct words rather than cockeyed, goes nuts, or goes wonky. Although those words describes what's happening. I wonder if I used hypersensitive with my chiropractor eight years ago, would he have tested my knee reflex differently? Would he have rolled backed up a bit on his stool so he wouldn't have been kicked in face? Hmm, I wonder!😘I wuv u Mr. Dr. Crowley! His wife is a chiropractor in the office too. This is the way I distinguished between them.

A lot can be said for having the proper word for a symptom or expression. The other words I used in place of hypersensitive although they meant a similar thing, didn't quite mean the same thing. They weren't descriptive enough in the above case. This was especially true because the person in question was used to me being medically trained. Even though he was told that I suffered with aphasia from my stroke, the words I used, goes nuts, didn't prepare him for what was about to happen. He didn't understand aphasia-speech or thought he did.

So now I own "hypersensitive" again and can use it properly. I own it until another stroke knocks it out of me again. In the future, doctors testing my reflexes are warned. Therapist also! I feel better that I've regained a correct, more descriptive word. With one word at a time, I beat my aphasia back another notch.

Nothing is impossible.

Opps, I Did Again ~ Battles with Aphasia

Normally, I can warn the person listening to me that the word I'm using is not the proper word. But there have been several occasions where I slip up.

Case in point...
The hospice nurse was asking how my husband was doing on his increased morphine. They had added MS Contin to the liquid morphine for hopefully longer lasting pain control.

What was happening-
He wasn't behaving normal to me. He took exception to everything I said. He wasn't sleeping the way he should. He was restless. He had more panic attacks and his paranoia was rampant. All negative side effects and it made a three-day long nightmare! I couldn't even go to the bathroom without first answering where I was going, how long I'd be gone, and promise to leave the door open in case he needed me. That's a whole lot of seconds when I don't know I have to pee unless I shift positions and being on Lasix, a prescription water pill, when every second counts against me making it to the toilet, pulling down my britches, and sitting on the commode without peeing myself.
(I can think of the words now after it is all said and done.)

As a writer, words are my way of life and a way to earn a living. But as a stroke survivor with  aphasia, my life has taken a serious detour. From being a multi-degreed person to an imbecile in nothing flat. Maybe that's too harsh, but it sure feels that way at times.

Back to my story. I told the nurse that he was combative. She raised an eyebrow at me but marked it down on his chart, a legal document. She asked if I wanted Haldol (a heavy-duty anti psychotic drug) for him and I shook my head still not realizing my mistake. This time it wasn't until much later that I realized my mistake and poor word choice when I was reading the copy she left me.

I didn't mean "combative" which is a physical action, but not the word that described his behavior as being verbal instead. I was up to my neck with guilt. It was my fault. No wonder she raised an eyebrow at me. He might be dying and weak as a kitten, but they have sharp claws to do damage with. She was probably picturing him doing just that at my use of the word.

I refused to call the nurse back to try and straighten it out after hours. She would return in a couple days for another check-up. Besides, I don't always make sense over the telephone. It had already been a long day of aide, nurse, and recertification nurse visits, plus a session with my occupational terrorist. I was too tired to even try to make sense.

It was another day before I realized the words I was looking for was "irritable" and "argumentative." I wrote them down so as not to forget them. I was praying I could read my writing by the time the nurse got here. I kept saying the words to myself over and over again both verbally and mentally. In the meantime, I was dealing with my husband's increased agitation because he was still on the prescription. I wasn't sure whether it was the medicine or the tumor in his brain causing the problem. Either way, it was bad news.

The nurse had no sooner walked in the door, and I was apologizing and bombarding her with an explanation. She told me no worries and I saw in her notes that the change in statement was due to the wife's aphasia. After playing twenty questions, it was decided to pull him off the drug to see if his behavior changed for the better or continued. 

It was the medicine. Within twenty-four hours of being off it, my hubby was back to his semi-sweet nature self. Now if the other drug reaction to his expectorant was so easy to fix. It has gone systemic and may take a month or more for the itching all over his body to stop. He's on an antihistamine with an anti-itch drug. Another penalty choked up to his weight loss.

...And so goes the Murphey Sa-a-g-a-a. (To be continued)