You may have noticed I've stopped writing my "Wednesday Writerly Ways." This is a temporary set back. How long it will last is anybody's guess.
There are a number of reasons for this. Mainly, it's hard to write about writing, self-publishing, and marketing when you aren't doing any of it. Yes, I could rely on memories but that hardly seems fair because there is no forward action these days.
The limited amount of energy I have because of my strokes, caring for my husband, and just life in general saps almost all my creative juices. If you've read my updates and my "Sunday Stroke Survival" you know what I'm going through. It's just too much junk! Well not really junk, but necessary distractions.
I could fight against the tide of overwhelming have-to-dos and write but writing should not be a chore. Now editing is ALWAYS a chore. I refuse to put writing in the chore category. I've gotten nothing but enjoyment from my many writing pursuits as it should be. Yes I still blog, but I'm even doing that with a couple heaping spoons of salt. But at least this is writing.
I mentioned in one of my stroke blogs how I read now and the way my brain isn't working anymore and said I'd give an example of how I write now without corrections and heavy editing...here goes. Squiggles be damned.
I wake up thiz mrning to (XXX lost) my husnd on the flour. I chek her ot to make sure their are no brkoe bones. Not broke so me hplelp him up and beck two bed.
Horrible isn't it. Now try to write small stories or attempt a novel writing like this! Now think of this whole blog post this way and you can see the struggle I have just to post one blog.
First I have to realize I made a mistake (some words aren't squiggled). I still mess up pronouns even in speech. My brain is healing ever so slowly. This is a lot better than just after my second stroke. My first left me unable to speak but I could write fairly well after a fashion.
No, I'm not whining or on the pity pot. I'm just telling like it is. I used to say, words are my life. Now it's changed to correcting myself is my life. Frustrating? Oh yeah with bells and cherries on top. So to alleviate any added frustration...I've stopped writing for now. It's just going to take some more time to get my brain in gear so bear with me.
Nothing is impossible with determination, BUT you also pick a few battles you can win.
The ongoing saga or insanity of my family, writing, living post stroke, and the world in general...I'd spend all my time writing if LIFE didn't get in the way.
I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteWould speech to text programs help? Or would that make it worse?
And I'm weird - editing is never a chore.
Alex,
ReplyDeleteI've thought about that but in English there are too many words that sound the same, but spelled differently. With my recovery of of most of my aphasia, my pronunciations and speech pattern changes almost weekly or back slide. It would definitely be more trouble than its worth.
I really admire your perseverance and determination. You are a really amazing woman, and I appreciate all your posts!
ReplyDeleteHi Jo - you're doing so well and just being around the blog must help a little.
ReplyDeleteI admire that you can think of blogging, let alone writing and reading, while taking care of your husband, and making sure you've enough time to heal yourself ...
My thoughts all round - Hilary