Thursday, May 16, 2013

Thursday Turmoil ~ Sleep- the Double Edged Sword

Yep, it's late for me posting that because I was asleep at my usual time. Yes you heard me...I was asleep. I'm writing this on the fly because I'm late so forgive any grammar or spelling errors. I did try to catch the misspellings.

At 8:00 last night I took my after supper meds. It was one of those days where everything was behind schedule with one of my husband's late doctor appointments. You know the type when you have an appointment but because of this or that you are left sitting for two or three hours or more? Yep that's the one I'm talking about. Meds were late, dinner was late, and I had over extended my energy allotment for the day.

After the dinner dishes were done, I sat up on the bed trying and get enough energy to do the rest of the night's routine. I fell asleep watching some movie with the opening credits rolling. Upright in the bed with a pillow against the headboard.

My husband, God love him, came into, drew up his morphine, injected himself in the thigh, and went back to surfing the web until 1:30. Proof to me that the anguish of the past two months of nerve ablation procedures was worth it. It has been nine months of me drawing up and injecting him. I woke with a start when he came to bed. His first words were, "Is there anything I can get for you?"

He went to the office and got my bedtime meds which I was supposed to take at 10:00 and a bottle of water. He was in caregiver mode. I'm still half asleep. When I reached for my AFO he looked at me with concern. "Is there anything else I can do for you? I was kinda hoping you'd go back to sleep. You haven't gotten much lately."

"Not without a catheter and bag," I answered. All the movement had triggered my, 'Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now' reflex. Then it hit me about his 10:00 morphine injection. When I asked him about it he assured me he'd taken care of it. When I got back from the bathroom I asked him if he needed another shot, and he said no. So I climbed back in the bed. I was asleep before he was.




I awoke again to sunlight streaming in through our bedroom window. The curtains fluttering in the breeze coming through the window and the sound of him rustling around preparing his coffee. I jumped out of bed. Well not exactly. I had to put on my shorts, my compression hoses (more on this later), my AFO and shoes first, but in a hurried fashion. Glancing at the clock, it was 8:00!


After I stood up, that's when my body told me I'd slept too
long without moving. My back muscles screamed at me. I started making those old lady sounds. You know the ones I mean. The grumbles and groans most often heard by sweet, little, old ladies make upon moving. My neck and legs made the Rice Krispies sound of snap, crackle and pop. Yep, my body is getting older. The muscles around arthritic joints and bionic ones are telling the tale of abuse over decades.

Actually I feel wonderful after getting 11 hours of sleep if it wasn't for the downside.  Although my body is still telling the tale even after being awake for two hours, it's nothing a hot shower and muscle relaxers won't fix. Now my guilt about my husband having to being his own caregiver and me too. Well that's another story. I figure I'm due a break after ten years of caregiving with only a month and a half total time in ten years on duty. But I'm only kidding myself.  I do feel guilty. I'll just keep reminding myself not to make a habit of it.

My med schedule is terribly skewed for today. Oh well, life is full of adjustments. Isn't that what makes it interesting?

6 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

It's all right - let him take care of you now and then. Glad you got some sleep.

Zan Marie said...

Let that guilt go! You *do* need care, too. ; )

J.L. Murphey said...

My body adjusted to four hours at a time. This is unusual for me, but it felt too good to wake up.

Lara said...

Sounds like you needed the rest!

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Jo .. wonderful to read about your beloved husband ... and I'm so pleased you had a good rest ..

All the very best to you both - Hilary

J.L. Murphey said...

Lara and Hilary, The body can only go so long without it.