Sunday, September 14, 2014

Sunday Stroke Survival ~Anosognosia is it me?

When the subject of anaosognosia came up in the data base I wondered

What is it?
And after reading about wondering if it was me?
It sure sounds a lot like me in a lot of ways.

You know me. If I don't recognize something, I have to look it up. Blame it on my parents who made me look up words I didn't know or just inquisitive minds want to know.

Definition-
1. Ignorance of the presence of disease, specifically of paralysis. Most often seen in patients with nondominant parietal lobe lesions, who deny presence of hemiparesis. The information shown above for anosognosia is provided by Stedman's.

It's basically denial of your current illness. A hear, see or speak no evil type of existence. I'll admit most of the time, I'm in this thought mode.

Maybe, it's just my stubbornness. "I can do everything, but I just have to figure out how." So I really don't have this because I KNOW I have hemiparesis (paralysis of half the body or half paralysis). But it's not on my mind dwelling and stewing up front and always present. Mainly because I have figured out how to do most things I want to do already.

But there are a few things I miss the boat on...
  • Clapping,
  • Spinning wool (still muddling this over)
  • Catch a football without pinning it to my body first
  • Playing cards without a rack,
  • A regular handshake because my right am is affected
  • Anything that requires two hands to accomplish where I don't have to use my mouth, teeth, lips, or elbows to substitute. There's probably a zillion things I missed on this list.
I guess I don't have it after all.  But the idea is attractive to me. If I didn't accept or know my right side was paralyzed, I wouldn't miss it or would I? But it could also be very dangerous also. Trying to walk without my AFO will land me right on my face on the floor. I know because I try it ever so often. While I have things in easy grasp to prevent my falling.

But if I was bedridden, I could see it happening. I could easily forget about the paralysis. If I had full time, around the clock caregivers who did everything for me, I could see this happening too, but that is not the case in my life. I am the doer of everything that needs to be done.

I've always LOVED this poster!
My tagline at the end of each one of these posts, "Nothing is impossible with determination" is a nod to my disability but overcoming it. It's not denial because it slaps me in the face several times during each and every day.  There is nothing more important than believing nothing is impossible even if you cannot do it yet.

Am I just dreaming? Is anything really possible for someone with my disabilities?
Possibly but nothing ventured, nothing gained. I've always had to fight for accomplishments. Nothing has ever come easily and if it did I didn't appreciate it. I am known for having my head in the clouds while having my feet on the ground. I'll stop short of lying, cheating, and stealing to achieve what I want.

I believe in human potential, but first there is getting past the denial phase although it's a comfortable spot. Denial is la-la-land. Unfortunately, you cannot live there for long without a serious mental illness.

Nothing is impossible with determination.

5 comments:

SSTattler said...

I love your article!!
John A.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

You don't have time to deny it - you're too busy dealing with it and finding ways to work around it.

Lara Lacombe said...

I'd never associate you with the word 'denial'

S.P. Bowers said...

You're not in denial. You face things head on then find a way to make it work.

Rebecca Dutton said...

I don't consider it denial if I have reasonable goals. OTs call it the "just right challenge". That means something is doable if you work really hard.