Wednesday, August 19, 2015

What I'd Like to Say to Debt Collectors But Don't

This is to the debt collectors out there who will never read this. This is just something I have to vent about.

Needless to say, I've had more than my share of debt collection calls since my husband fell ill in 2003. That was when my husband had two heart attacks and stroke within six months and I became primarily a home bound caregiver except for part-time work. I pray you never are blessed with my circumstances and have debt collectors call you.
 May you...
  • Never have to spend years watching as your loved take an agonizing breath after another with you wondering if this was it and they die.
  • Never have to spend one moment watching a loved one waste away to become someone you don't recognize and suppress a shudder when you see their body.
  • Never have to have to make the decision between pain relief or continuing to breath for a loved one.
  • Never have to watch your loved one struggle with not being able to do anything but lie in a bed for months knowing they'll never get up again.
  • Never have to spend years caring for your loved one whose heart rate keeps falling or rising to the point where to heart stops because it is beating so fast that blood isn't being distributed, no matter what everyone tries, with you wondering if this was their time.
  • Never have repeatedly kiss your loved one goodbye because they are going through a procedure that they doctors have told you has a greater than 90% likelihood of killing them.
  • Spend precious minutes on the phone with a debt collector, like you, while medication for your loved one is due, or trying to feed them, or bedpans and urinals have to emptied and you are so bone tired that you want to doze off while talking to them.
  • Never have to listen someone, who is trained in strong arm debt collecting, berate and belittle that your credit will be ruined when you it already is or threatening to sue you. Stand in line.
  • Never have to stay awake for weeks watching as your loved one stops breathing and wondering if they will take another breath.
  • Never have to decide between food in your mouth or something your loved one has to have because there isn't enough cash in your account for both
  • Have a job that understands that you are doing the best you can with a dying loved one to care for too for years.
  • Have a job that pays  enough for someone to come in and pay them, while you are away and leaves enough afterwards to pay all your bills.
  • Never have to work your day job and spend the remaining off time caring for your loved one nonstop for years where you consider your on-the-job time as vacation.
  • Never have to answer a debt collector call and step out of the room to talk to them while your loved one is alone and takes their last breath.
Signed, The Debtor

After typing all this, I do understand that debt collectors (second party companies who pay pennies on the dollar for the debt) have a job to do. They are also being paid by commission. I apologize for being a deadbeat debtor. It's not like I had the money and refused to pay. It still isn't the case. I'd pay each one off to stop the threatening letters and harassing phone calls. By the way, the last bullet is true. Not that I think that my husband would have realized that I wasn't holding his hand at the time. At least I hope.

I have been truly blessed by having survived the past ten years even with the ups and downs. I had a chance to share with him and say to him all that I needed to  I know many that do not have this opportunity. This is due to the fact that I had my strokes and could not work

Yes, I have sacrificed to do this. Yes, there are too many bill collectors. My husband's total care cost since 2003 tallied up to $2,934,957. To say that total would be financially devastating to anyone besides Bill Gate, is an understatement. That was after private insurance (Medicare 2007 too). Before insurance, this figure was a 80% - 95% higher figure.This is not counting the funeral or hospice services. I'd spent my entire retirement nest egg, savings accounts, and then some. Would I change a dollar of it if I could...nope! Money comes and goes, but a life and time spent with my beloved...priceless.

Have a terrific day.

4 comments:

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Jo - I do most certainly feel for you ... you've been through so much ... I certainly hope things ease up - it's part of life ... but it's a cruel part for those who did not deserve it. My thoughts to you - Hilary

Crystal Collier said...

I say flag the debt collectors #'s and block them. I remember when my dad was going downhill with cancer and we experienced so many of those excruciating moments. I can't imagine going through that complicated by all the financial pressures. Sending love.

Barb Polan said...

Horrifyingly sad.
XXXOOO

Zan Marie said...

It's not right. Not fair, but it your truth. {{{{hugs}}}}