|I wish I was in this shape instead of larger!|
I recently went to the cardiologist. She looked at the stats and told me I'd gained weight. Five more pounds was added to my bulk and I now weigh more than before my stroke. I'm obese (bordering on morbidly obese) and I know it. Chock up another item that keeps me in the high risk range for candidacy for another stroke or heart attack. Genetically indisposed for high cholesterol no matter how much medicine I'm on. Married with a strong family history for weight relate medical problems.
I hear ya, "But Jo, you can change your weight problem." Yes I can to a point. The extenuating circumstances hold me back. The pressure sores on my foot is a biggie. I'm under doctor's orders to stay off it as much as possible. It's a case of damned if you do and damned if you don't. If it were on the toe part of my foot, I could focus the main weight bearing towards the heel as I walked and vice versa for the heel. But no, it happens to be on the outside edge of my instep. There's no way of not putting pressure on that.
Couple that with a prior eating disorder of equating comfort with food and I've got some major problems! I guess I'm just making excuses, right? I could pick the right kind of foods to nibble like carrots or celery. I actually do this quite frequently. But calories are calories. Intake without burning them off in some way is an imbalanced equation...thus the added weight. Added to all the stressors in my life, it's definitely a no win scenario. Mentally, I know these are just excuses, but stopping is more trouble than it benefits right now.
Yes, added weight or obesity and smoking are changing risk factors, but for now correcting them is on hold until I can do more about them. Am I on the verge of another heart attack or stroke? You betcha. Is there anything I can sanely do about them? Nope! Things I can't do anything about take a backseat to those things I can do. I'm taking it one day at a time on good days and one second at a time one bad days.
I do what I do to survive in this moment. To handle this or that task in hand. The past is the past and the future will unfold in spite of what is happening today. For today, I'm fat and sassy. I have a great sense of humor in spite of the world's roller coaster. Tomorrow's problems because of today's actions will be dealt with in time as will all things. Yes, I'd like to lose eighty pounds, but for today I choose to be happy and semi-sane.
Nothing is impossible with determination.