Sunday, September 15, 2013

Sunday Stroke Survival ~ Grief- Upturn and Acceptance

Today is the last segment on grief. It is the upturn and acceptance.  Acceptance is the ultimate goal in your recovery process. I will say this and I'll say it again. There is no cure for grief. It is forever, just not as painful given time. With time it will not feel like someone stabbing you with a knife and twisting it, but a sting like a mosquito. Painful, but not as painful as before.

I want to make something clear to my readers also. I write this as counseling to make you aware what is going on with you and that it's normal. While I use me as an example, I've moved forward and onward. Yes, I have relapses from time to time as do most folks recovering from a death or a stroke. Each relapse is shorter in time than the last time. That is to be expected. Read the above paragraph. It's a case of preacher heal thy self with God's help and pass the knowledge on.

Yes, I still revisit all the phases as time passes, but in acceptance you realize that there are some things that are. It is reality and facing your given situation. Yes, horrific things happen and it happened to you. Things that you may contemplate for your worse enemy but in actually never honestly wish it on another soul. There are consequences to every action you take in this life and acceptance for your circumstances is the key to recovery. Acceptance depends on your willingness to move on. This is what cards you have been dealt in this life. So what are you going to do about it? That is the one thing God does not control and He left for us to decide...free will. It is our choice how to live our lives.

How would you like to live your life? The choice is yours. Your present is what you make it. Would you rather lives in the stinking quagmire of guilt, denial, anger, and depression of memories of the past you and longing to have it back? The past is past and baring some time machine, we can't go back and change it. Or would you rather look to a brighter tomorrow where you strive to get better? The choice is ultimately yours.

For me, I end my usual stroke survival posts with "nothing is impossible with determination." I mean it. It's my way of looking to a brighter future and I hope to impart that message on to you. I always look to the light or brightness. Yes, there are a lot of dark times in my past and my future, but I will always walk towards the light. There is always a glimmer there in our souls just waiting for us to see it. You have to want to see it and walk towards it to reach acceptance.

Another thing I usually say on this blog is, "for right now." It's a quantifying statement of acceptance. Everything in this life is temporal. It's perception of what we are experiencing. The thing about perception is that it is constantly changing with circumstances and knowledge. My perception of life as a child is nothing like my perception as an adult, or an elder person.It does not mean I will not try to make it better. I am a mother and grandmother who will always try to kiss it and make it better.

Another reason for my quantifying statement is while I accept the way I am this minute, I refuse to give up hope for a better tomorrow. A tomorrow where I've learned new adaptable helps or recover some of what I've lost. Life is an ever evolving process. What is paramount today may not be tomorrow. When you reach a level of complacency, events will always step forward to disrupt it if you let it. When you've had the worse thing that you can imagine happen to you, be aware there may be even worse things in the future. But does that stop you from trying to live your life? No. So long as you are breathing, there is hope for a better tomorrow.

My prayers are heart felt for all of you that you reach a level of acceptance. Reach beyond it. Never be complacent with life as you know it. Be aware of changes that happen in your life have a purpose as a growth experience. And no, I want no one to have to go through these trials for a growth experience, but here we are. The question is, "What do you want your tomorrow to be?



2 comments:

Zan Marie said...

Lovely! Thanks for doing this series of posts, Jo. They're important to us all.

J.L. Murphey said...

You are most welcome, Zan Marie.