Sunday Stroke Survival~ Social Media

Why as a stroke survivor or caregiver for a stroke survivor should you Tweet, pin, Facebook, or blog? For a few very good reasons

• You don't stuff your feelings
• You find out you are not alone
• Get and share information
• At least I don't have it as bad as the other guy

These are just a couple reasons. Nobody knows the challenges I go through on a daily basis as someone who's walked in my shoes. They might not have had as devastating, or easy of a time with their stroke but they know or can relate to some of them.

It is so easy to think, as a survivor or caregiver, and stuff all the negative feelings. Be warned, doing this only hurts you and those around you. By saying you are having a bad day acknowledges those feelings to anyone that will listen. I've had my share over the past year and a half. If I had stuffed those feelings, I'd be in sorry shape about now both as a stroke survivor and a caregiver. I'd be ready for the closest mental hospital and consider it a fun vacation! 
 
If I post "having a bad day" on facebook, or twitter, myspace, or any of the forums, or blogs that I write, I guarantee there will be at least ten emails or telephone calls from "friends" or family  that want to know what's wrong. That doesn't include comments. I put friends in parentheses because these are cyber friends. People I have never met in person who are closer to me than some my local face-to-face friends. You all know who you are.

Sometimes you don't want to feel Abby Normal. Like you are the only one who is going through this. It is so easy to believe you are. A good portion of my day is spent on the internet for that very reason. Isolation is killer when you are disabled or the primary caregiver for someone chronically ill. As a stroke survivor we are chronically ill. Although in various stages of recovery, we are still not the same as we used to be. You are going to vent about injustices, balk at the way your life has changed, and share progress you've made. Misery loves company doesn't it? Conversely, have you ever had good news that you wanted the whole world to know? This is it! It's not called the world wide web for nothing.

Have you ever wondered if someone has had an experience that you had? If you truly are Abby Normal? Yep, I have. The social media and websites in general are a wealth of information. If you've just had a stroke, that's probably where this is most helpful, and want to know how long am I going to be this way. You are tired of hearing the  "very stroke is different" cop out. There are survivors out there who have been where you are.  When is probably the most asked question and to be honest there is no correct answer. I wish there was. You are part of an elite club that gets 3 million new members a year worldwide...the strokees or stroke survivors. Congratulations! You could be part of the third who have a stroke and don't survive. Believe me when I say I don't always think that I'm so lucky to have survived. You are not alone in feeling that way.

As you find others like you, who are a survivors too, you share experiences conquests, joys, disappointments, and information about being a survivor. Others want to read about these experiences to feel they are not alone. As you age in your survival, you provide a feedback source for someone newer to the club than you are even if they never comment.

I reach caregivers and survivors alike because I wear both hats. There not a week that goes by when a certain someone, Barb, who emails me just to check up on me. She along with Dean, John, Amy, and a long list of fellow strokees that become in some ways closer than family. They know you are struggling and care enough to send words of encouragement or to realize that life is dishing out too much for me to handle again.

I blog about what is going on because I can. I answer all my own emails still. I can't afford a personal assistant on my writer's income. Well, I could but I'd lose that personal touch I value so much. As an author I write and every experience is grist for the writing mill. Not everyone would be comfortable with airing their personal life, but I look at it as a way to measure how far I've come.  I'm a public figure anyhow. To me this is just journaling my journey. Instead of writing in diaries as I did so many years ago, I do it here. No, not everything appears here because I do also have a private side too.

By reading and socializing with others, your life is put into perspective. Things can always be worse no matter how bad they are. I know, I know. This is not ideal, but somehow knowing that someone somewhere has it worse than you makes you feel better. As humans we are competitive creatures at best. You can look at someone else and "there but by the Grace of God go I." There will always be someone worse off than you. You could be me or I could be Sarah (no not you). She's a single mom has no arms and one leg. She also has three children under the age of ten. To me, that would so much worse off than me.

Yeah, it's a reality check or wake up call. My stroke wasn't as bad as Diane's husband. I can walk after a fashion. I haven't had body part amputated because of contractures (knocking my wooden head). I am able to speak more than a few words. I don't have to use a catheter and diapers full time. Yes, by comparison, I am very lucky. As a caregiver we face equal challenges with our respective husbands. The major difference is Diane is not paralyze on one side like I am. Reading my blog she gains a new perspective- as I do reading hers about her husband's stroke and his struggle to be normal. So in turn I'm luckier and worse off than them.

I noticed last month one of the ezines (internet magazines) I republish to jumped on the twitter and facebook bandwagon...finally. Though I do not tweet or hang out on twitter anymore, it is a fast way to get snippets out about stroke info available. My screen scrolls too fast for me to read and respond. Something is definitely wrong with the connection between my eyes and brain since my stroke...it makes me dizzy and out of control, whereas before my stroke I almost lived there.  

My new love is youtube and pinterest. I can scroll at my speed. Although I've had a youtube channel for some time now, I never fully appreciated it's value until recently. Pinterest is also a new/old thing for me. Whether it's to find something that might help make life easier on me or to share something that helps and may help others. I post items that interest me or helps me write my books as reference. Pinterest is actually a pretty neat spot for visual interests. I learned to knit again using youtube. I can also grow my own food for my rabbits and chickens for less than a quarter of the monthly bill thanks to youtube. Reading too much really tires my brain these days so the 5-10 minute videos fit the bill.

So what does social media offer for the stroke survivor? You become mentally grounded. You are not alone. With networking, you get and share information. And finally, you really don't have it as bad as the other guy. Won't you join us? Blog, tweet, or facebook your stroke today. You and someone else may appreciate that you did. Too shy to put your footprint in the cyber world? Follow multiple blogs. You may not agree with everything being said nor even comment, but be enlightened. No one can do it for you.

Nothing is impossible with determination.

Wednesday Writerly Way ~Changes in Publishing

It all started with me wanting to learn about the publishing industry. I'd been an author for a dozen years or more, but was taking someone's word for what was a good deal...my agent. Admittedly, he knew all the ins and outs of the industry. I really didn't have to worry my pretty little head about it. All I had to do was pick a subject, research it, break it down into workable data, and write. Sounds simple, doesn't it? Why rock the boat?

Back in those gone-by days an author wrote and somebody else was delegated with all the other stuff. Like editing, that's what my editor was for to fine tune and correct the grammar mistakes. Times changed and to be a continued success, I had to learn. Not that learning is any problem for me, but change is always disruptive, but accepted grudgingly.

The most pleasant change was putting my manual typewriter in it's case never to be opened again. Except in a major extended power outage. I took to computer word processor like a duck to water. It was so much easier to correct mistakes and change text around without having to use write-out or correction tape. No more carbon paper for duplicates or triplicates. It was an invention from the gods. Thank you Bill Gates and Steve Jobs.

But anyhow back to learning more about the business of publishing. Vanity presses or self-publishing was for those who couldn't cut it in the real publishing world. Nobody had a strong following with those authors. The publishers had the inside track of promotion and advertising your book. They knew how to reach people who read. They knew how to get books into catalogs for book buyers in stores, especially those that were in almost every town. They knew how to get reviews of your book. They knew the cover designers. They knew everything. They were the gatekeepers for what people read. They knew best or did they?

123rf.com

With mergers and acquisitions the big publisher were absorbing the competition. You can't really call it a monopoly because there are six big publisher. More like  making the big pond only available to big fish. If you were famous and wanted to write your biography, they throw out huge advances, but the small time author, Jill Nobody, had a hard time breaking into the market. Even authors with a publishing history had a hard time.
 getting their books published.

A small interuption for a story...
I spoke to an idealistic teenager last week during therapy. When she found out I was a published author she was in awe. She told me she was writing a book too. She had envisioned a life of becoming a best-selling author, the fame, the book signings, the television interviews and traveling. I asked her what was the premise behind the book, and genre, and she couldn't tell me. In fact she gave me a "huh?" look. After a few more well pointed questions, I determined it was a contemporary romance novel.

She asked about how to get it published and I asked her if it was finished. No. I asked her about projected word count, another "huh?" look. I asked about her writing history. None, no surprise there. I hated to bust her bubble, but I told her the realities of the industry. How hard it was to find an agent. How difficult if might be to sell the book to a publisher. I dropped the bomb of the 91-99% rejection rate. But I ended on a happy note and told her if that's what is in her heart to do, just do it being aware of the possibility of failure.

Back to publishing changes, I'm just too scatter brained today. Enter the internet. It provided a basis for authors to get their name out there. Blogs and websites became a had-to-have among authors even traditionally published ones. Social networking enabled readers to get to know you, the author, with only minimal face-to-face time. The advent of e-readers caught the publishing industry as a whole unaware. You could reach out to the world from your home. Sites sprang up everywhere for this or that part of publishing. You could get your book reviewed. You could have it professional typeset/formatted. You could find a cover for your book. More and more authors opted to publish on their own.

Yes, it all came at a price. But when you look at 70+% royalties in your pocket versus 12-17% even with the payout, indie (independent) publishing seems more lucrative. It still left me with 60% in my pocket so far in sales I've made. The stigma of self-publishing became less of a thumb-your-nose at the proposition. The shelf life alone makes it worth a try... three months versus eternity.

Have I given up on traditional publishing totally? Now why would I want to do that? I like the have my cake and eat it too side of the street. Until my agents and publishers say I can't and are willing to do all that I do for my indie books, I continue on being a hybrid author. Now I know they will eventually wake up and put it into new contracts, maybe in ten or twenty years, but until then more power and profits to me.

Keep writing and loving the Lord.

Monday Mailbox~Networking Revisted

First I wanted to respond to the many emails and comments I received regarding my rant last Saturday found here. As I have said I write my blogs in advance because that's the only way since my stroke that I can edit them properly so they make sense. Since my stroke, I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, and react abruptly and inappropriately. This, unfortunately, is part of the way the stroke has affected my mind. Sometimes it is easy to control, but others well it just comes out although I do try to temper it.

The same day my interview with, my friend, Albert Rollins at Free Book Reviews came up on his roll call. So many people were taken aback by the difference between the funny and witty J.L. Murphey that they looked me up here and other places and were greeted by my rant. Oops, my bad. Sometimes, I just reach my limit and have to vent. I forget about how many new readers I have. For this, I apologize profusely. Now onto our regularly scheduled email...

Since Wednesday's post my mailbox has been full of mail, they ranged from insulted to wanting to know more. Today, I'm going to focus on the insulted ones to respond to because it's controversial. No not really, but because it answers both views.

The ones who were insulted was about my comments on online social media. The buy-my-book ads on twitter and other social sites, I mentioned.

How could I discount them so easily? Because I can.  There are thousands of indie authors publicizing their books on these sites, but the ones who actually makes sales is the one who develops a relationship with the reader. One ad over and over again won't sell your book any better than not doing it. If anything the reader will be so tired of seeing the ad they will go out of their way to NOT buy your book.

For online promotion to work takes a lot of time on your part. Most authors are busy writing their next book. I have said being an indie author you wear a lot of hats. This is one of them. But being smart about the way you use your time saves you fruitless effort, or wasting your time and money.

Wait a minute you say, this doesn't cost me anything. I beg to differ. If you had a job, how much are you paid an hour? Keep that figure in mind. How much time are you spending on the Internet marketing your book? Three hours everyday times $7.15 (that's minimum wage here in the US) times a five day work week... $107.25 before taxes. I will guarantee you, promotion or advertising executives earn a lot more than that because I was one. Now add in your internet connection for a month divided by four (4 weeks in a month). You can break this figure down to the hour if you like. If you have a fee to belong to various sites add that in. You're using electricity (batteries do need recharging or replaced) add that in. Incidental charges like your Smart phone or computer. So did it really not  cost you anything?

Wouldn't you want to spend your money wisely? Especially, if you are trying to sell your book?

• Most media retailers have sites in which you can publicize your book unless you make a nuisance of yourself. Sony Nook, Amazon, CreateSpace, Smashwords is on Facebook and Twitter, GoodReads all have author forums.
• Most will let you introduce yourself, your book including back page blurb or synopsis and place a picture of the cover.
• I know GoodReads, CreateSpace, and Amazon will let you create author pages for Q&A.
• These are 24/7 sales people for your business.
• You can become affiliated with sites like Romance Writers, Sisters in Crime, SciFi writers, Independent author groups, etc. I just signed on with a stroke survival group. It wasn't to promote my upcoming book, but there is a tie-in.
• Online writer and reader groups are endless.
• Blogging or website which offer a feedback system.

The important thing to remember when joining these groups you are making a commitment to participate. The more you participate; the more everyone gets a chance to know you. The more they know you; the more apt they are to purchase your book. You don't have to beat a friend over the head with buy-my-book.

It's building a relationship between authors and their readers or possible readers. It creates the buzz. To me, this is a better way of using money wiser.

Keep writing and loving the Lord.