Wednesday Writerly Ways?

You may have noticed I've stopped writing my "Wednesday Writerly Ways." This is a temporary set back. How long it will last is anybody's guess.

There are a number of reasons for this. Mainly, it's hard to write about writing, self-publishing, and marketing when you aren't doing any of it. Yes, I could rely on memories but that hardly seems fair because there is no forward action these days.

The limited amount of energy I have because of my strokes, caring for my husband, and just life in general saps almost all my creative juices. If you've read my updates and my "Sunday Stroke Survival" you know what I'm going through. It's just too much junk! Well not really junk, but necessary distractions.

I could fight against the tide of overwhelming have-to-dos and write but writing should not be a chore. Now editing is ALWAYS a chore. I refuse to put writing in the chore category. I've gotten nothing but enjoyment from my many writing pursuits as it should be. Yes I still blog, but I'm even doing that with a couple heaping spoons of salt. But at least this is writing.

I mentioned in one of my stroke blogs how I read now and the way my brain isn't working anymore and said I'd give an example of how I write now without corrections and heavy editing...here goes. Squiggles be damned.

I wake up thiz mrning to (XXX lost) my husnd on the flour. I chek her ot to make sure their are no brkoe bones. Not broke so me hplelp him up and beck two bed.

Horrible isn't it. Now try to write small stories or attempt a novel writing like this! Now think of this whole blog post this way and you can see the struggle I have just to post one blog.

First I have to realize I made a mistake (some words aren't squiggled). I still mess up pronouns even in speech. My brain is healing ever so slowly. This is a lot better than just after my second stroke. My first left me unable to speak but I could write fairly well after a fashion.

No, I'm not whining or on the pity pot. I'm just telling like it is. I used to say, words are my life. Now it's changed to correcting myself is my life. Frustrating? Oh yeah with bells and cherries on top. So to alleviate any added frustration...I've stopped writing for now. It's just going to take some more time to get my brain in gear so bear with me.

Nothing is impossible with determination, BUT you also pick a few battles you can win.

Wednesday Writerly Ways ~ Give Yourself Permission...

Occasionally, you have to give yourself permission not to write. I've read so many blogs and how-tos about writing lately that basically states to be a writer you must write everyday. That just isn't true and an unrealistic goal.

You set yourself up for failure and burn out by not giving yourself a choice. On Tuesday I talked about keeping yourself free of frustration. This is another area that writers have trouble with.

You've got to play hooky every once in a while in order to experience life. Do you envision a writer's life where you have nothing but time to sit in front of your keyboard and write? But is that really what you want?

So many newbie authors express the wish to do nothing more than sit and write full-time. What is full-time? Forty hours a week, fifty, sixty? Keeping those kind of hours writing, I guarantee you'll burn out just like you do at your regular job.

I never wished to stay at home and do nothing but write. Guess what, I never did until now. Don't get me wrong. I love uninterrupted time writing and creating something from my imagination as much as any author, but there is a limit. A point when you close of your word processor, and get out to see real life.

I write from the point of view of human experiences. Yeah, I've experienced a lot in my sixty plus years on this planet, but there is so much more. A lot of times I'll scream that my life is too crazy and I wish it would slow down. That's not going to happen unless I make it happen.

I write myself a permission slip to play hooky for a day or two. I don't have to write everyday to be a writer. I take breaks of days or weeks. Am I still a writer? Yes. The creed to the left aside. Strike that. Actually, I do write something everyday, but it might not be my manuscript. It might be a blog on one of my sites. It might be a grocery list because I can be creative in the kitchen. It might be a recipe for the same reason. It might be a note to my DH (darling hubby) to remind him of something, but it is not writing as in a story.

When writing becomes something you have to do, other than a joy, why do it?  I know if you are like me, you are driven to write. Anything. Everything. It's such a pleasurable experience and you don't feel complete without doing it.. like breathing. Then why would you want to do it full-time? Wouldn't it then become work and therefore less enjoyable?

I'm delving deep towards the philosophical now. Whether you write full-time or part-time, you've got to allow yourself time off. Whether its to stop and smell the flowers, walk your dog in the park, or just veg out in front of the television. You'll come back refreshed with  a new outlook.Who knows where your next inspiration will come from. If you  don't take time off, you may miss something fantastic.

So what are you waiting for? Start writing yourself a bunch of permission slips.

Keep writing and loving the Lord.

To Write or Not Right Now

I've spent the last two weeks not writing a single word except for this blog. What's behind this stoppage of work? Exhaustion? Family? Uninspired? Laziness? Mental issues? Depression? How about all of the above!

Whichever one I want to blame that's the cause. This month is more than halfway over and I haven't written a single new word to my book, Don't Get Your Panties in a Wad. In fact, I haven't even opened my rough draft this month.<shaking my head> I'm ashamed to call myself an writer, because I'm not writing.

This month I'm exhausted. I stay that way no matter how much sleep I get. I'll drag in from my PT/OT sessions and crawl into bed. In a two-hour session, I'll peddle mountains for three miles on a bike, 1,000+ steps, biofeedback/e-stem exercises for 20 minutes, range of motion exercises for my arm, computerized reactions, and stretches for an hour. After a two-hour nap, I'll do more of the at home exercises and another round of electrical stimulation (e-stim). I'll lay down for another half hour, not really sleeping just doing some light bed exercises and stretches while watching the idiot box. Then I'll nuke something for supper eating it with no appetite but because I have to eat before night meds and 8 & 10 PM.

On the family front, so far this month there has been one grandchild's birthday, a day at the beach,  my anniversary, my nephew's birthday, my niece's wedding, homecoming at my home church, two baby showers, and my husband's birthday. Never a dull moment which the reason this blog is titled The Murphey Saga instead of some clever writerly name. It's the never ending story of the Jo Murphey, the writer. It's comparable to a bad soap opera.  Kind of like that night time soap opera a dozen and a half years ago with Billy Crystal "Soap."

Uninspired and laziness (see above) It seems there are more things taking away my energy spoons faster than I can replace them. So just what am I doing with my time? I find myself on POGO in between times trying to increase my speed of various games, rebuilding my vocabulary with Scrabble  and QWERTY, matching skills with Mahjong, Sequencing abilities with card games, Bingo, and Boggle. I used to find these things relaxing but now they task my brain and can get frustrating...it's work. But I'm also building my clicking speed with my mouse. If only I could draw left handed, but that's a superfine motor skills...like writing. On the hand writing front, I can write where others can actually read what I wrote. I've progressed from that large kindergarten paper to wide ruled although I still have trouble staying on the line. Maybe I'll try coloring.

The mental stress is caused from the stroke and I realize this. Having to backspace over misspelled words, seeing all the green and red squiggly lines is down right depressing. My depression stems from my not being able to write/type the way I'm used to and a whole lot of other things since the stroke. I long for the days of just 4 1/2 months ago when I could  plug away at my keyboard and finish a rough draft of 50K words in a matter of weeks. I started this book two months ago and typed 16K words and it's a mess worthy of a grade-schooler and I'm having doubts big time. You think I'm joking? You know that grade reading level thingie in the spell checker? Up until last week it tallied 5.2. But the last addition brought it up to 8.0 which is about standard although my usual for nonfiction is about 10th grade level. I keep reminding myself that I had a stroke less than five months ago, but that is getting old even to me. If you are following my other blogspot blog PastorJoSays, it goes into more detail about my rationale for my stroke. 

This is my pity pot thinking when it takes me 45 minutes to shower and wash my short hair, and another 5 to brush my teeth and hair, 20 minutes to put on clothes so they are not skewed or twisted. Forget about make-up! I've never been one of those fru-fru type of gals. Maybe some lipstick or blush on occasion, thank goodness. I've never been gorgeous and no amount of war paint will improve it. Normal was shower, dress, makeup and out the door in under fifteen minutes. Being able to cut my own finger and toe nails...maybe even polish them or buff them. Growing your own fresh vegetables. Being able to wash dishes in the sink. Fast chopping ingredients and preparing gourmet, home cooked meals. The little things in life that most people take for granted or at least I did until my stroke. Time's up! Off the pity pot.

On a lighter note, I'd forgotten I'd signed up for the annual Zombie Walk in Savannah next month until the email arrived last week. I'd planned to participate in full zombie regalia, do a book signing, and offer PDF CD versions of Zombie Apocalypse: Redemption and what should have been Zombie Apocalypse: Travelers. Travelers still sits on my hard drive, and since the stroke, it still needs a major rewrite. I e-mailed the sponsor back with my regrets, explaining my stroke, and although I would make an excellent zombie with a dragging arm, droop my face a bit, and twisted foot...I just couldn't sign books. Oh well, maybe by March in Jacksonville. Or next year in Savannah. It seems like I'm saying that a lot these days...maybe next year. It's not procrastination...it just is. My insurance is done for physical therapy. I'm still fighting with Social Security Disability with the help of a lawyer. But if it takes as long as with my husband's case...I won't need it. I plan to be fully recovered by then.

In the meantime, I plan to start writing again in on Monday...wish me luck.
Keep writing and loving the Lord

How do handle real life intrusions to your writing?

Be Careful What You Wish For

As most of you readers realize I've not posted in almost a month and for good reason. Remember a few months ago I was talking about a vacation where I didn't have to lift a finger? Well I got it last month. A vacation nobody would want...I've went to the hospital.  I had a stroke.

I am still waiting for the right side of my body to wake up. So I won"t be posting for a while and one handed hen pecking like this posting like this is for the birds. Will return when life returns to normal.

Keep writing and loving the Lord.

Rest and Relaxation Friday--Well Sort Of

Today is TGIF! Yippee! Horray! Well I finished editing my competition novella for the Black Orchid Competition. Almost 18,000 words.

I read it aloud to my family group last night after dinner. Consensus was entertaining with a weird twist like most of my stories.I had them glued with one of the high speed chases in the story and an Evil Kenevil type stunt.

Either way the decision on the winner will be in December. Wish me luck.  If I lose I'll publish it myself. If I win I'm headed for NYC. It's a win-win for me either way.
  I enjoy playing with words almost if not more than I like playing with food.

If you read my Wednesday post, you'll know that I unpublished the Kindle version of "Escape from Second Eden." I'll start on the reformatting and editing this weekend. But today is Friday. I'm taking the day off from writing and letting my fast and furious working muses rest. The only thing I have on the agenda is ONE wedding for a local doctor and then I'm done. It will be the first one wedding Friday in about four months.

I plan on hitting the hay early and getting a fresh start on Saturday morning. First I have to upload my copy of "Eden" off a CD-ROM onto my new computer. Since most of my stuff is in two places still (my old office and the new one) it may take some searching. I really need to get myself organized better. But that's a project for another weekend not this one.

This weekend I'm focusing on editing and formatting. Since it is a long weekend I can't mail my entry out until Tuesday anyhow.

Keep writing and loving the Lord.

Another Ouchie

In case y'all were wondering...
I took a nasty fall while hammering in crown molding this weekend. Nothing broken except my right wrist. Really bad because I'm right handed. An ugly black bruise across my back at the hip line and my left knee (the original one). I hate paying someone for something I can usually do myself. So now, I'm moving around like the old lady I am.

Really hard to get comfortable with my arm elevated and badly bruised backside...and even harder to type.

Yeah, I know...what's a woman my age climbing ladders for? I scared my 13-year old badly and like a good grandma I told him I was fine. That worked until today when he came over after school and saw the splint on my hand and arm. The radiologist finally found the crack in the bone after three days.

So I'm MIA again. It seems like Murphy's Law is working overtime. It's just one of those stupid things you hate to admit, but then have to. Am waiting for the luck of the Irish to strike...maybe by St. Patrick's Day. In the meantime, I'm giving up typing for Lent. The good news I'll have more time for reading.

Keep writing and loving the Lord.

I'm Outta There!

It has reached a point in all this construction nonsense that I have to leave my house for a few days. The fumes and sounds are just wearing me out. I've stayed because this is where my husband is the most comfortable, but this is no longer the case. So tomorrow we are checking into a motel...it will definitely be warmer.

I actually pulled my wool blazer out this morning for a wedding. Fall is definitely here with shades of winter for south Georgia.

On the writing front, I'm at a standstill. I'm currently looking for a motel with WiFi and allows pets, we have two cats. Maybe I can actually get some work done. The best I've managed to do was sporatic blogs and answer followers on twitter. I did see a cute video of my next to the youngest granddaughter singing "Poker Face" on Facebook. Really cute.

So I'm outta here for a couple of days.

Keep writing and loving the Lord.

Well It's Thursday ...sigh

You ever notice when you are NOT having fun, time flies by? Yeah I know, it's usually the other way around. There have been so many details going on around my house that before I know it...it's one o'clock in the morning. The work doesn't stop on my house. Once the contractors are gone there is the pick up, the priming, and the color choices to make. Yes, I could let them all do the work, but then it wouldn't be my house.

I did a paint technique in my old office which from about mid line down looks like blue jeans. I put a border of old world maps above that and then placed burgundy screen molding to encase it. The upper wall is a cream color. It looks marvelous if I do say so myself. I sewed some navy blue curtains made of recycled blue jeans, so I think I'm set now. If the cable guy, no not Jim Carey, would come in and run the internet line to my new office I'll be finished and able to move in. It will sure beat sitting on the couch with my laptop trying to write.

What spurred all this renovation to my home? Well a tree bough fell on it...not one of those tiny ones either. I've been putting off things for years being busy with life, work and writing. Injuries, family illnesses, and surgeries also didn't help. I had no choice but put everything aside and focus on the house. I knew it would have to be done someday. I guess if the bough hadn't broken...it would still be a someday item so it's not entirely bad.

Now if I can just get all my son in laws together over here to help move the pool table into my old 15x20 office. Oh yeah, I forgot. The part that the bough fell on...was my office. It took out a wall and a good section of the roof. Ya gotta love old southern live oak trees. This one is probably 60 years old. A beautiful towering creature who has lived here longer than my home. Great shade in the summer. Great leaves in the fall for the garden.  Well the limb will make good fire wood next year.

So the hammering, sawing and other construction work continues. Along with it a total creativity drain. Although if you look at the meter to the right you will see progress, it feels like I'm at a standstill. These manuscripts should be through the first draft part of writing. Maybe I'm just being too hard on myself. It's just life getting in the way.

Keep writing and loving the Lord.