Well, I've been hard at it in everything but writing again this week. My father in law and husband's care has had me jumping through hoops and leaping over hurdles. I feel like I have run a marathon and at the same time standing still.
I've put out fires (figuratively), juggled care, and handled family issues to the point where there is no energy left to create. I've put everything else on a back burner which are now scorching all dishes. I am now eight chapters behind in editing others, four chapters behind in two novels, and basically, I understand these are all my own timetable.
Breathe, Jo, breathe! Have a nurse's aide fired, breathe. Discuss diet and nutrition with food servers, breathe. Discuss options and quality of life of loved ones, breathe even though you are making life altering decisions. Perform a wedding, smile and breathe. Perform a christening, smile and breathe. Listen to jokes from my grandchildren, laugh and try to breathe. Keep everyone updated, grimace and breathe. Counsel drug addicts, breathe. Out of school for a month, sigh of relief and breathe.
I'd had such plans for my time off from studying. The grass was going to mowed, hedges trimmed, the roof swept, and write. I am now into my second week of four and none is done. I've written about new 500 words in Zombie Apocalypse which the rough draft should be finished, edited six chapters, and made no marketing effort on the two books I do have on the shelf (read zero sales). Have not published my first of five children's books. Have not launched my e-publishing company. A whole long list of have-nots. Breathe, Jo, breathe.
So what have I done in the past few weeks? I've brought smiles to others, reinforced love and care. While I may not get rich doing this in a material sense... the rewards are limitless. God had more richer plans for me than I had for myself. While I scurried between place to place, I found peace and strength to do what needed to be done. Some of the most difficult decisions I've made in my life have been accomplished this week. Not that I wanted to make these decisions, but they brought better understanding and compassion to the forefront. Whether it's a life beginning or ending, or even somewhere in the middle...God is still in control.
As always, keep writing and loving the Lord.
My prayers and thoughts are with you and all of your family, Jo. Take care of you, too. It's important to them that you are okay. God bless you.
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