Sunday Stroke Survival: AFO Woes, Weather, and Other Stuff

As you can guess, I was hard pressed to talk about one thing this week. So much and so little has been accomplished.

The garden has been planted. All that's left to do is busy work like weeding until harvest time. But I can't because of the rain. I do get out to pick dandelions, clover, strawberry and black berry leaves, and grasses for the rabbits. I'm picking grass seed heads for the corralled hens too. This takes me about an hour each day. That's including feeding and loving on them.

My AFO still isn't right. I'd gotten up to three hours a day wearing time in the new new AFO. It still rubs my ankle bone. It can be down right painful too. If I just sat around all day this wouldn't be a problem. But I have a fairly active lifestyle. I'll burn up 6,000  steps in a few hours between the animals and the garden. On sunny days, I'll round off 10,000 steps by including the orchard. But I haven't been doing that lately. I'll be up on my feet for an hour in the new new AFO and then spend the next  30 minutes on the porch swing to rest my foot and ankle.

At around 2:30 of the three-hour mark finds me on the swing watching the spinners and the hummingbirds because it's too painful to stand up. The wind spinners were a birthday gift from a YouTube viewer who made them from soda cans. I just love them. I set my phone alarm for the three-hour mark. I usually am counting the minutes until I an swap out AFOs. But that's not really helpful because the old AFO is the device that caused my foot fractures. Even with the adjustments, that old knife stabbing pains return after a few short hours. So I'm stuck sitting more than I'd like.

Even with the extra padding in the new new AFO, it still isn't right. It still causes pain, but my foot alignment is correct. In talking to Hanger, at yet another appointment, my foot is so far out of whack that any correction will cause pain. So we are at an impasse. Do I give up alignment and a normal gait, or do I go back with to the poor posture, limping gait of the old style AFO? I'm hoping the intrathecal baclofen trial works on the leg spasticity. Eventually, I may just get rid of this AFO.  I'm still waiting for that appointment.


The weather has been, in a word, wet. It has rained every day for three weeks. There is only about a two-hour window each day that it isn't raining fairly hard. I said I'd never complain about the rain again after the drought of 2016, but I'm close. I guess it's a God's blessing kind of thing because I can't be up and doing outside. I'm glad I opted for building double width rows of raised beds in the in-ground plantings. At least the water has somewhere to go instead of drowning my seeds. Building these rows with a shovel and a rake was no easy job for one-handed me, but each 5' long row was accomplished. I could make two rows a day until all six were made. I'm glad I took the time. Gone are the days that I did six 30' rows a day... ten years ago. I'm thankful for this little garden plot instead of the old 1/4 acre garden. It's official. This was the wettest May in the history of this area.

I do have to say that living post stroke has been anything but boring. Every day there is something happening. Whether I fall, sometimes several times a day, or just preparing dinner are adventures. Attempting to make do single handed and not using my dominant hand to boot is challenging. I've finally quit trying to do trying to do something with my right hand first. It's only taken six years.  Not that I don't use my right arm and hand, but they now play a supporting role instead of a first response reactor.

The difference between learning and relearning

Living post stroke is a learning curve every single day as you try to regain your old life. Everything I try to do is part of this curve unless I've conquered it prior and have repeated it a dozen times or more. But isn't that true even if you haven't had a stroke? Yes, but living post stroke is relearning how to do it with impairments. Trying something absolutely new can be daunting post stroke. But it's a break from relearning. Sometimes, the frustration of learning something new is better than the frustration you get from relearning how to do something. I'm always on the lookout for these gems. Pinterest is a great place to see new crafty things I might want to try. I'm the type of person that sees something she likes and tries to make it. This year I tried spinning plarn to knit market bags. In the garden, I'm always trying a new plant or two each season. This year, it's tomatiloes. You never know what you can grow well until you try. In some small way, it makes me feel "normal" because everyone gets frustrated trying something new.

I've temporarily stopped working on the cookbook. I'm just too busy with the rabbits, garden, and orchard. I'll pick up working on it in the late fall after I put the garden to bed for the year. Next year's garden will be changing. Garlic and onions will be planted around the apple trees in succession planting because they'll keep pests away. I'll be planting leeks seeds in the fall as a first time crop to overwinter in the garden. Napa cabbages will be in the fall garden so all the ingredients for kim chi will come from my garden. Wohoo!

Nothing is impossible.

Sunday Stroke Survival: The End is Nigh!

As y'all know, I'm a Christian minister. For the past forty or fifty years, I've heard...

"The end is nigh!"
"Biblical prophecies are coming true at a rapid rate."
"The Seals are breaking."
"The Rapture could be tomorrow!"

It's all true statement, and then again, it isn't. Remember one very important fact. God's time is God's time and it's His. I hear y'all asking what does all this have to do with stroke survival? Give me a minute and I'll explain.

Nobody can accurately predict what will happen and when. Sure you can read Nostradamus' predictions and correlate present day happenings to his predictions. The same is true about stroke recovery. But it's all relative. Have you ever been to a World Expo future exhibit? We should be flying instead of driving, or teleporting by now based on it exhibits in the past. I'm not poo-pahing Christian beliefs or the Bible. I'm just standing on the Word when it says be ready. I am to the best of my ability spiritually. This bride is ready for her groom. In reality,  can go either way at a drop of the hat-stay or go, do or not do. It's all an educated guess based on hindsight. I'm addressing predictions (prophecy), expectations, being prepared, and fulfillment in this blog.

Living post stroke, I am also prepared. I'm expecting to fall. I also expect me to pick myself back up again. I'm expecting to have yet another stroke. My grandmother had seven before the seventh one killed her. I expect to die. There's nothing I can do about that. We may be living longer than our predecessors, but we will all die. Any choice we make at a given time is either right or wrong in hindsight.

Take me for example. My cardiologist says I can have the rhizotomy procedure without having my aneurysms repaired first. I'm in no danger of them rupturing in the next year or so. That's his prediction. I'm bowing to his wisdom and expertise.  Whether the cardiology team at Emory are of the same opinion is unknown at this time. But even with this prediction, I'm prepared to go either way. It doesn't hurt to have a second opinion either. It's only my life hanging in the balance.

There's a saying, 'any day above ground is good one.' Any day above ground needs to be lived to the fullest even if there is no tomorrow. I fight for whatever life I have every day. I'm broken and can't be fixed right now. That doesn't mean I don't have hope for a better outcome in the future. It doesn't mean I won't go ahead with the rhizotomy even with the dangers and hard work needed afterwards. Even if the end is nigh, I still have to live through today. The Biblical Rapture hasn't happened yet and I still have to live until it does. Tomorrow may be a different story. But every morning I awaken and start each days anew. It isn't tomorrow yet.

The cartoon I pictured at the beginning of this blog says, "The end is near" and "Are we there yet?" What the usual answer to the last one, "No, not yet." Can I be excited by what's to come? You bet. But each day is a new chance to try something I haven't tried before or gain a small piece back of my ability BS (before stroke). Until someone says, "We're here!" I'm going to keep on keeping on.

Nothing is impossible.

Words to Live By After a Stroke or Just Because

I ran across this quote the other day and thought it was a good mantra for stroke survivors too. They should be words to live by living post stroke. Too many of us forget it can always be worse.

"I am grateful for what I am and have. My thanksgiving is perpetual...O how I laugh when I think of my vague indefinite riches. No run on my bank can drain it, for my wealth is not possession but enjoyment."

 ~ Henry David Thoreau

This struck a cord with me and I'll tell you why. As stroke survivors, we lament on what we've lost opposed to what we have. Granted, you may think that your life may have been better prior to your stroke. I know I do. But even setting aside that thought, are you wasting time living in regret or what could have been?

Are you enjoying your life now? Are you really living it? I know my answers to these questions. It's a resounding, "YES!" I'm not only living my life post strokes, but I am reveling in it. This thought struck me as I was planting tomato plants in our garden a couple of weeks ago. The day was beautiful. I looked up at the canopy of new leaves on the trees. A gentle breeze caused a calming rustling sound as I dug into the straw bales and nestled each plant into their new homes. Buzzing bees darted to and fro pollinating the flowers and collecting their nectar. It was one of those sunny days you would want to sit on your porch swing and just enjoy. I was thinking, life doesn't get any better than this. I'm enjoying being on this earth to experience this.

Yes, I'm still a stroke survivor. Yes, I still have physical impairments.  But moments like these are meant to be enjoyed to rejuvenate the soul in what God has provided. Reveling in the awesome rebirth of life after winter. I noticed the clover that is rampant in our yard. This year, the three leaf wonders are half a dollar sized. They are huge with large puffy flowers. My rabbits love them. I'm too busy pulling up huge clumps of them for them that I'm not looking for a four leafed one for luck.

I tend to notice clover more in remembrance of my Irish descent husband. At my old homestead we grew clumps of red shamrocks just for him to enjoy each year. We never found a four leaf in the red variety, but we were still lucky to have each other and happy. But beyond that, clover enriches the soil as ground cover. Farmers pay good money for seed to do what God supplies naturally here.

So if you aren't living your life post stroke enjoying the glory of being alive, stop and look around. Enjoy the splendor that still is yet for you to own and enjoy. It is said that little things that means the most. It's true. Stop focusing on what you have lost and enjoy what you have each day. It may not seem like it is enough or the same as before your stroke, but there is little enough enjoyment experienced by "normal folk." Grab what you can, whenever you can, and do it often. You'll be richer for it. It's a wealth you can't take to the bank, but it's free if you just look.

Nothing is impossible.

Sunday Stroke Survival: I've Got a Herbie!

While most normal folks out there have a regular vacuum cleaner to clean messy floors, I ain't got one of those new fangled devices. I got a Herbie. He doesn't need batteries or even electricity.

Herbie is our pet dog. He takes care the house while Nnyus is our indoor/outdoor dog. Herbie is also the last remaining male of our household pets. He  works as well as any vacuum cleaner on the market for picking up messy spills.

Herbie is a terrier mutt. Nearest I can tell, he's a mixture of black and gold border terrier, a Yorkshire terrier, and something else. He's got the attitude like most terriers. Terriers are either timid or they think they are a big dog in disguise. They are either hyper or laid back. They will shy away from confrontation or will be argumentative. Herbie has a big dog mentality, hyperactive where food is involved but laid back the rest of the time, and confrontational. They also tend to have skin issues. He's no exception.

Waiting for me to drop something

It's hilarious to watch him get up in the face of the neighbor's two Rottweilers. He'll jump and nip at them. He knows no fear. I'll bet just one of these dogs could snap him in half with their massive jaws, but Herbie won't back down. They usually head up the driveway for home with no incident. I imagine they are laughing at the little dog as they go. Herbie will trot proudly up on the porch because he protected his domain and his ladies.

I came onto the scene two years ago and turn this little dog's world upside down. Mel inherited this dog upon her mother's passing. As a dog trainer, she trained him the regular dog commands. He's actually a smart dog. She couldn't break his argumentative behavior. He would argue (growls, barks, and gruffles) about any command he didn't want to do before he complied. Then here comes Jo, who's owned and trained terriers. Herbie was shocked that I spoke terrier. I understood him. I knew that killing them with praise was better than shouting. To Mel's surprise I could pet him without him growling at me. He growls or gruffles even if he likes something. Or at least, he did until I arrived here.

Waiting for me to get home

He's become my constant companion over the past two years. In a previous post, I mentioned some of his antics. He loves that I cook and preserve food stuff. If I'm in the kitchen, Herbie is right there with me. He sees me take out my Ulu and cutting board, and he waits. Something always falls when I'm cutting up food. It doesn't matter what, he's game for sucking up the mess no matter how small. Eggs, sugar, flour, vegetables, fruits, and meats are his favorite. Did I leave anything out? I haven't found one food he won't eat. Maybe onions, he will play with it a bit before eating it. Most dogs don't eat kimchi because the way I make it, it's super spicy. He loves it. He'll gobble it down without a moments hesitation. Of course within a few moments he's dashing to the water bowl, but soon enough he's back begging for more.

still waiting

This morning was a prime example of why I have a Herbie instead of a Hoover. I fed the dogs, and then fixed myself a bowl of cereal. As I was making my way to the breakfast table, my affected foot caught on an electrical cord. I lost my balance and hit the floor. My bowl of cereal went flying. It landed on the carpet so it didn't break the bowl, but cereal and milk formed a 5' area of mess. Herbie was at my side in an instant. He'd finished his breakfast and came to check on me on the floor. "Get it, Herbie." And sure enough, after five minutes there wasn't a speck of cereal or milk on the floor. Meanwhile, I spent that time getting up off the floor and poured myself another bowl of cereal. That little dog's stomach was so full between his breakfast and my first one that he didn't even venture towards Nnyus' bowl. She always leaves a couple of pieces of dry dog food in her bowl for him.

Two weeks after his spring shave

After a whirlwind trip around the property, he is lying beside me as I type this. Napping but ever vigilant for me to make any movement of getting up. If I swing my feet around, he'll move out of the way. His "me first attitude" has been dampened by me because I could be going anywhere. He'll wait until he knows the direction I'm going and speed dashes four steps ahead and waits for me to catch up before he does it again. There are times I tell him where I'm going and he'll do the hurry-up-and-wait or he'll get behind me and nip at the heels of my unaffected foot to urge me faster.

He divides his time fairly evenly between Mel and myself during the day. When he wants to race and rough house, he's with Mel. When he wants loving or companionship, he's with me.

Herbie has the bad side of terrier skin. He will periodically break our in sores or chew a sore spot. We shave him almost bald each spring and late summer. While he had a nasty habit of nipping Mel's hands while she did this, he had yet to do this to me. All bets are off when clipping his nails though, he hates for anyone to touch his paws. I mixed up some essential oils just for him. Now I just have to show him the bottle while I'm shaking it. "You want some?" He'll gruffle but come towards me with his tail wagging. He'll practically rub my leg like a cat in anticipation of the application. He'll growl and complain when I rub it on him, but his tail will still be wagging. Between the essential oil synergy and the jojoba oil base, his skin issues are no more. I mix this up in an 8 oz bottle and apply it a couple times a day.

Now, it's off to the garden. "Come on, puppy. Let's go!"
He looks up at me sleepily and gives a soft growl as he moves out of my way. Then, he's up and racing me to the door.

Nothing is impossible.

About Additional Postings, Apple Trees, and Rain

You might have noticed a few extra posts each week that doesn't bear the SSS header in the title. I normally write these Sunday Stroke Survival blogs in advance. Sometimes a month or more in advance as the muse strikes me. Things crop up during that time that I think you might want to know like troubles with my AFO and exciting doctor visits that I can't wait until Sunday to tell you so there are extra posts.

I know some of you have caught on, but some of you have not. So much can happen in just a week. When you can have three appointments in one week, or a long awaited appointment happens.

A lot of the time living post stroke, it can be a major brain search to find a topic to write about. It all seems the same day in and day out. Weeks and even months can go by with nothing newsworthy happens. This particular blog has been here since May 2010, but my previous blog began in 1993. So I've been blogging for 25 year! That's a whole lot of blogs and information passed on. I'm amazed that I still have anything to say.

Living post stroke is as exciting or as boring as I want it to be. Sometimes, it's nice to be bored. As it stands there's very few boring moments on this homestead. After a hectic two weeks of getting all the plants  and seeds into the garden before the rains, we were looking forward to a few easier rainy days.

We didn't plan on planting apple trees this year, but I found three trees of clearance. All three trees cost me as much as one tree full price. It was a deal I couldn't pass up. So I brought them home. A full day was taken up me with a shovel and Mel with a pick axe digging holes in the orchard for these trees. Then it was gather rabbit poo and straw to go inyo the holes before the trees. I like to halfway fill the holes with eater before I put the trees in. Twelve gallons of water later, we put the first tree in the ground, then the second, and the third. The four foot metal stakes I had bought for the tomato trellis staked the trees upright. Best made plans and all that.

Not all the herbs got planted before the rainy days happened. We still sat on the porch swing and watched the droplets fall. Satisfied with what  we had accomplished. It wasn't until we heard a crash inside and we investigated that the roof was leaking inside. The crash we heard was part of the ceiling falling. Well, we had intended on being bored for a few days while it rained. Sigh! During a break in the heavy rain fall, Mel climbed up on the roof and laid out a tarp. I'm no use on ladders so it was all up to her.

The rains won't stop for a week to see what repairs have to be done on the roof. Inside, I'm making a list of insulation and plywood that needs to be purchased, hung, and painted. The dollar signs are adding up again. Because it is one great room, the living room, dining room, and breakfast room the whole ceiling needs to be redone. The monies I had set aside to gravel in the new car park will be going to the roof and the ceiling now. This will be this year's summer job instead of pressure cleaning the outside of the house and getting rid of the ugly, dark chocolate brown trim and porch. I've wanted to do this for two years. Now, it'll be three years until it's done. As far as I know, the fall renovation project of ripping out the 1980s carpeting out is still on track. But then again, who knows.

Nothing is impossible.