Sunday Stroke Survival: It's All About Me! Well, Sort of

But I love you too!

My only New Years resolution of sorts that I made was to focus on me more than others in 2017. If you really knew me, you'd realize what a challenge this is for me. In all my 60 years of life, I've put others before me to the point where I literally drove myself constantly into the ground. Do I sound selfish? It's not totally going to be a meme year though. The homestead is a huge undertaking and that's where my main focus will be, but there are other goals I'd like to explore and do that I've put on a back burner for far too long putting out everyone else's fires. Everyone else needs to take responsibility and just deal with it.

Sounds strange coming from a professed minister, right? Not entirely so. A huge part of my meme year involves others and their well being including my own. What I've wanted and been guided, by the Lord, is to reach more disabled folks and show them an alternative to just existing. I've been shown that this is my ministry field now. While I've continued writing this blog, I've done very little else. This will change in 2017.

I'm starting with a subcategory of our Cockeyed Homestead YouTube channel with a series of videos on homesteading and being disabled. I'll probably start a whole new channel. How does "The Single-Handed Homesteader" strike you? No, I'm not leaving the Cockeyed Homestead and will still do videos for that channel, but this will go more in depth of my faith, philosophy, how-tos, to give those disabled folks out there both a kick in the pants, and hope that they can also have their dreams, or at least some of them. They ain't dead yet no matter how much they want to be. This was a goal I set for me almost three years ago. It's time for me to get cracking on it. For many over at my stroke recovery blog, it's been a long awaited promise fulfilled. No, it won't be as originally intended with me by my lonesome. Homesteading is hard enough without disabilities, and with the move to north Georgia, I'm no longer alone.

I hear you. "But Jo, that's not selfish!" True, in part. I don't think I've got a totally selfish bone in my body. It is my commitment service to the Lord that guided me to this. Why else would He have allowed me these challenges to overcome? Especially with Him knowing me so well. (grinning) It nourishes my soul and blesses me abundantly so in my mind it is selfish. It's all about me. My growth. My faith. My resilience. My philosophy towards adversities. I'll just carry viewers along on the journey. If it touches one other soul and brightens their life, all the work put into it will be worth it. But then again, it's all about me.

The second part is to get involved on the local level.  I know you've all heard this before. I researched stroke support groups. While being a leader and unique in life is admirable, it can get lonely at the top. I used to say even a minister needs a minister from time to time. Yes, I have my Heavenly Father, but it doesn't hurt to have a good support system here on Earth too. After repeatedly calling the local stroke support group and not getting a call back, I'm going to present myself in person at the local hospital, which sponsors the group. I'm not leaving until I have talked to someone who knows what is going on. Yes, I can be stubborn that way and I'm tired of feeling alone here when I know I'm not.

So that's the plan. Work continues on the cookbook and life continues on the homestead living post stroke.

Nothing is impossible!

Stroke Survival Sunday:Support Groups

My support group

If you've had a stroke or brain injury, try and find a local support group with other stroke survivors and/or traumatic brain injury survivors. I think you'll be glad you did.

After my stroke I delayed in going to a survivors group because I really don't do well in crowds since my stroke. I figured it would just be too much input and overload all my circuits. Finally, I broke down and went. What could it hurt to go to one meeting? I never had to attend another one if I didn't like it. Plus, my speech therapist was one of the leaders of the group so it wouldn't be as if I didn't know anyone.

We were a fine pair walking into the conference room. Me, on a cane with one arm drawn up to my chest and halting speech, and my deaf husband at my side. We entered the room and found a spot to sit. A pad of paper was passed around to sign in on which my husband filled in.

As the meeting was called to order, I looked up to the co-leader. I knew her. Somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind recollection gears chugged. Finally, it hit me. We went to high school together. Then after an introduction, the speaker was a nurse from the health department. I knew her also from high school and we attend the same church. I turned and saw the physical therapist from the service I used after I came home. I was real comfortable now. It was beginning to feel like old home week. The other stroke survivors I didn't know from Adam, but that was soon amended as we went around the room with introductions. My memory of new names and faces had gone out with the dish water since my stroke so it would take a while to remember a name with a face...but they had the same problem too so I didn't feel so bad.

I met people who had battled this stroke recovery thing for years and some who had been post stroke for a decade or more. I didn't feel so out of place like I do in church among "normal" people. Some of the people were worse off than me and some were getting along fine or sort of. Are you ever really fine again after a stroke? It seems like there is always something different about you. Anyhow, I was made comfortable at the meeting and decided to attend more. I felt a sense of camaraderie with these folks.

This was a group I could help and be helped by. That's always a plus in any group function. Getting involved and being useful. I attended two more meetings before  my husband started his down hill slide. It would be another two years before I attended another one. But the leader of the group corresponded by emails and phone calls. My suggestion of visiting new stroke patients while they were in the hospital is now a big part of the group and membership has grown. A stroke exercise group is forming and a few other things are in the works. So even though I was physically absent, I was still a part of the group.

It sort of worked full circle for me when I started dry needling. My speech therapist and support group leader is the spouse of my therapist doing the needling. Small world, huh? No, just a small to mid sized town. Although, I did not hear about dry needling from her but my occupation therapist. My stroke group even sent flowers after my husband died.

A good support group is like a shot in the arm of "I can do it." Being around others in the same boat as you are helps you focus away from yourself. If you were like me especially, where I didn't have much contact with the outside world at the time. It made me feel accepted when all I could see was my limitations. It opened me up to possibilities through helping others. Having a self central focus is not a good thing after a stroke. Nothing makes you feel more abnormal.

Outside the group activities is a definite perk of a support group. For us, there is a clay class which boosts your creativity. I haven't been to one yet, but I do plan to go to at least one to see what it's all about.

We had an outing on a shrimp boat excursion tour. We were comfortable and away from danger in an enclosed glass room while the shrimpers fished. We were even treated to a low country boil. So what if I couldn't use my fork or knife properly, neither could anybody else. I do have to admit that eating a low country boil with only one working hand was definitely a challenge and a tad bit messier than usual. But the point was, I was out of the house. I was in good company. and lastly, I had a blast!

So if you have not looked into a stroke support group other than online, I would suggest you check it out. It's a whole different set of realities joining in person with other stroke survivors. That's not to knock the strong stroke tribes we have online, but you are still cooped up within your four walls. Get out and smell the fresh air. Be a part of life instead of sitting on the curb. Take a step out of your comfort zone to engage others in a safe environment of it being people like you, a stroke survivor. Nobody will understand what you are really going through like another survivor.

Not sure where to look for a group? Try a local hospital. Try the Council on Aging. Ask your local health department. Check the rehab centers, or neurologist's offices. Even try your local Chamber of Commerce. Good luck. Now stop sitting there watching the world pass you by. Join in and get involved with life again. You've been alone far to long.

Nothing is impossible.