Sunday Stroke Survival~ ARGH! Despair and Agony on Me!

Not really! I just wanted to say the title yo see what it felt like. I've honestly never felt this way totally. So many stroke survivors live daily this way day in and day out. My question is why? Life sent you a curve ball and you have a decision to make...whether to swing and possibly hit it out of the park or take to strike.

I've never been one to take a strike. I root for the underdog and go for hitting the ball out of the park. I may miss but I at least try. That's how I feel about my stroke. It's a curve ball. I had dreams and aspirations before my stroke, and now it's just a matter of getting back to it.

Every so often I play a "Gotcha Day." It's been a long time since I've done one. It's a fun thing to do...telling a tidbit of information and see how it embellishes itself in the retelling. In other words...feeding the rumor mill.

I announced I was building a tiny house and homestead. Well, not so recently it was three years ago. But recently, I've evaluated the story from various sites and family to see where it led.

Comments among relatives...

• She's lost her mind since the stroke and her impeding death of her husband.
• How can she manage by herself? I mean look at her.
• I admire her courage but it's insane!
• Don't worry. It's just a fantasy and it will never happen.

On the web...

• The great homesteading experiment. 
• Grassroots and seat of your pants back to basics.
• My 20-acre homestead adventure has now grown to 1,000 plus.
• I now have cows and horses.
• I've failed at the attempt and have given up.

The truth...

Yes, my stroke and a major financial crunch has made me rethink my plans of homesteading. I've sold my 20 acres or at least it's on the market. I'm still playing it smart urban homesteading instead. The curve ball has had a definite influence. For one thing, the big move has been delayed in part because of my stroke and my husband's rapidly failing health.

I'm rethinking the scale of my property. I'm downsizing it by half and looking for five to ten acres of land. I still want the pond and/or creek.  Two daughters will not be joining me on the homestead. They have built or are in the process of building their own. I've played at gardening for two years post stroke and can do it. I'm also researching an aquaponics system.

I've been raising my chickens for years now so I know I can do it. I'll need to build a bigger house for the new ones. My four girls have steadily producing less eggs now that they've reached the five year mark so they are destined for the next stage of their life...food for me.

I have a plan to build another pallet and hoop house for them which will give a lot more room to the new chickens. I'm going for twenty next round for eggs, meat, and fun.

Based on this design

I have a two-year plan for raising and breeding Angora rabbits. With plans on purchasing a breeding trio (1 males and two females) this winter. I've converted a double closet into a rabbitry to house them. This should house four-six rabbit easily giving each ample room. Yes I still have Buddy too. He's not going anywhere.

Speaking of Buddy...I had to remove Bella (my female Guinea Pig) out of the big cage. He developed nasty habit of plopping down on top of her. Her irritated squeals and actually biting him made it a necessity. His ten pounds versus her two and a half pounds. They still chat when he jumps up to his second level and when they are in the outside tractor. Although like most couples she does all the talking and he stoically listens not saying anything. :)

I've plucked over two pounds of fiber from Buddy. I now take him to Pet Supplies Plus and the manager cuts his nails for me since I have no kids around me now. No recent pictures because he's molting. Angoras do this yearly. He looks like a hot mess. But, he's a happy, loving mess. It's a bit creepy to see him without fur. Rabbits have very thin skin so the veins show, but I can do a thorough skin exam on him.

The plan is for pure bred, blue-eyed, white, French Angoras. That's not to mean that Buddy can't have his turn at breeding either. But alas, these hybrids will be raised for the next stage of life, my freezer. Yes, I'm practical about this and I have a plan. I'll breed for food, wool, or sale. That means every four-six months or so I'll have babies. I did something similar with my meat rabbits who are now in their next life. I bred on demand. When I needed meat, I bred them.

The plans is for an eight-ten hole rabbitry and no bigger. But I'm starting small with four. I'm taking baby steps towards my pre-stroke dreams. I tried my hand at butchering rabbits. It wasn't pretty doing it one handed and it took forever! But I tried it and did it. At least with one rabbit this winter. My grandson did the other two. But I imagine it will get easier with practice. I haven't tried butchering chickens yet but their time is coming just as soon as the need-to-be-purchased chicken come and age up a bit.

I decided on this new design

Someone asked me why a tiny house. While the idea of living in less than 200 square feet seemed daunting for two or more people, I'll soon be alone. It seems logical to me. Less space + less stuff= less clean up. I mean really how much stuff do you really need? The fact that it's tiny means the possibility of less falls. I mean there's always something close to grab onto.

Besides most of my time will be spent outdoors anyhow. I do plan on building a barn to house my rabbitry, chickens and goats.
Yes, goats. My independent living plan includes Pygora goats. Goats are terrific for clearing underbrush. They'll mow your grass. They'll provide wool. They'll provide milk. They'll provide meat. Makes sense to me. Sounds like a win-win situation.

Why I decided on Pygora goats? They are small about the size of one of my German Shepherds. At 75-95 pounds, they are manageable versus their counterparts at over 150 pounds and the size of a Great Dane. I can call someone for hoof care and shearing once a year or get a grandchild to do it. I can almost guarantee that once I have semi mastered rabbit and chicken butchering, doing something bigger won't be a problem.

So that's the truth. My stroke may have delayed the enviable, but it hasn't stopped me. It's the curve balls in life that make the journey more interesting. Yes, we can honestly live more easily without them, but that would be so-o-o boring. Baby stepping may be the safest way to go about a goal, but to me, it's better than cliff digging. Life is all about the learning process. Getting there is half the fun and once you get where you are going, the stuff of memories.

So what are you going to do with your curve balls?

Nothing is impossible with determination.

Wednesday Writerly Way ~ Motivation in Fiction Writing

I'm going to finish up my discussion on motivation that I started yesterday. Again I speak only from my point of view because that's the one I know. I've read others' views on the matter and wanted to add my impressions for consideration. This time for fiction writers.

I love a good fiction story. Plot twists, characters that live and breathe, and the settings of where I've been or hope to go even if it's a fantasy world. Writing fiction has different motivations than writing nonfiction. But one thing both have to have is a unique voice and a story line.

I've had all of these motivations in writing fiction. Now to carry on from yesterday...

• As Paul Harvey used to say, tell "the rest of the story"
• A story which won't die in your head
• Characters who would play a role in your story and won't shut up
• Demons need exorcising
• The more you write; the more appears to be written-self generating story line

When you write historical fiction, be it romance or any other type, you have boundaries within  which you write. You tell the rest of the story. Or a fictionalized story within fact. I did this with Escape from Second Eden and The Mayan Serpent (yet to be published). I had specific events in historical facts as guidelines and reference to work within, and build the story to coincide with them. The characters are fictionalized with a sprinkling of actual public figures.

This is probably the easiest and hardest form of fiction to write. Easy because all the hard work of recreating an era, clothing, events are done for you and you don't have to create from scratch. The hardest part is the boundaries themselves. You have to totally immerse yourself as the writer in the time. No modern thoughts, conveniences, or speech.

For me, these books are memories from my journals growing up. Believe me when I say that I could write a hundred suspense type books just off my life experiences. I hate to compare myself to other authors, but didn't Ian Fleming and Jack Higgins do the same thing? Their backgrounds are in espionage as is mine, but mine is from a different perspective. All are thinly veiled truths and half truths of people and incidents that passed through our lives with a what if factor. Writers write what they know and writing these types of books help me exorcize the demons in my past.

Some writing I do as exercises or shorts to languish away their lives in notebooks or flash
drives. I keep everything I write good or bad. For my southern fiction persona, it's tales set in Georgia. Of course because I live in Georgia. The Sacrificial Lamb, The Illusion of Tranquility (yet to be published) and Surviving Hank (yet to be published) are three examples that started out as exercises, but the main protagonist and antagonist wouldn't shut up after the story or piece was written. They may have started out as a 500 word short-short or a 1,000 word short, but took off a life of their own in a self generating novel. As a writer ya gotta love when that happens.

They don't fit the mold as cozy, southern murder mysteries as southern fiction is usually defined, but they are hard and gritty. They deal with issues like child abuse/molestation, divorce, affairs, adultery, and yes, murder...the messier side of life. The question asked is not whodunit, but will he/she get caught and is justice served. Unfortunately these are also written from my journals and are exorcizing demons.

All that being said, I often wonder about my zombie side step. Zombie Apocalypse: Redemption, Zombie Apocalypse: Travelers (yet to be published), and Zombie Apocalypse: Controllers (yet to be published).

Whatever possessed me to write about zombies? I didn't even like zombies until a year a half ago. No, I really didn't say that out loud. < Er, um, cough, cough> I've been a zombie fan my whole life. Yeah that's what I meant to type my fingers are possessed!

What was my motivation for this series...a fluke and marriage between a news event and my striving to be self sufficient. I have experience in medicine and a self-sufficient lifestyle. The fluke was a halfway listened to news blurb on Fox News about the CDC issuing a Zombie Apocalypse alert. Within literally months, the first story was written, the second outlined and halfway written, and the third having a handful of new details and scenes tying into the first two. It took on a life of it's own for a series. I've never written a series before nor had any desire to do so until this one. I much preferred writing the stand alone books with the possibility of a sequel at best, if my audience wanted one.

Not all my stories are self generating. Those stories usually fall by the wayside within ten chapters. It's too much like work. Does anybody really like to work when creating? Sure as I've said on this blog numerous times, you must do your homework prior to writing, but writing should be fun. I've quit better jobs and for more money than writing generates for me.

Don't get me wrong, writing is hard work especially the editing and rewriting parts. By the time the rewriting, editing, rewriting, editing and editing parts roll around you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Or maybe not if it takes forever.<sigh> See all those books listed above marked "yet to be published?" Yep you've guessed it...they are awaiting further editing and rewrites.

So what is your motivation behind your book and what tricks do you use to stay motivated during the process?

Keep writing and loving the Lord