Sunday Stroke Survival: Changing Responsibilities

Today's post is about changing responsibilities after a stroke. If you are like me, you had help to delegate your "chores" to children, in laws/outlaws, or just general family just after my first strokes.  I know many out there in reader land who do not have this luxury.

I was luckier and unlucky in that respect. I was able to gradually able to rapidly slide back into my new old life. I was only in hospital and a recovery unit for 30 days. It wasn't enough time.

BUT REMEMBER...

• Offers of help/assistance only apply on the other person's schedule not yours for the most part. I sometimes had  to call 3 or 4 people just to make one doctor or therapy appointment. But at least I had that option. Others without this resource have to depend on medical transport.

• This is only temporary. At best 1-6 months worth. After that, you become a burden to avoid. If I sound cynical, it's because I know human nature.
• After those willingness to help folks are gone or sporadic at best, you are on your own. 
• During this time you relinquish all control and choice to others. 
•  You'll know when you assert yourself as a back seat driver that you want your choices heard. This is taken as being ungratefully by the people who are trying to help you. They will distance themselves from you as a result.

Now for some other things...

• Shopping- when you send others to do your shopping for you, they spend more and pick up the wrong items. To go with them has a few obstacles. For me, this included finding someone to care for my terminally ill husband while I was gone. Then, there was the issue of my chronic fatigue after my strokes. An hour at physical therapy or shopping had me napping for an hour afterwards.
•  Cooking- You might be lucky and have a daughter who brought over a plate of food each day, or have a neighbor bring over a container of chicken & dumplings.This is a challenge on a daily basis even for a professionally.trained chef such as myself. Your brain is sluggish. Meal planning is almost an impossible feat. Stouffers and frozen meals to the rescue. Nuke and it. But soon the repeated meals wear you down. How many times can you eat lasagna or Welsh rabbit in a week? You want to cook, or at least I did, but I could barely stand.
• Cleaning- This can be very challenging without a dishwasher. I found that using a smaller sink. Sweeping is doable by holding the broomstick with your chin. The broomstick is also a great cane. Dustpans with a handle is an essential. Dusting, you can leans against the desk or furniture you are dusting. Laundry- I opted for a laundry service. For $0.75 a lb, they washed, dried and folded or hung your clothes. They even put it your car for you.

That pretty much covered the basics besides the self care. That's another open can of worms. I make

it sound so easy and it's not. But with each task you try and fail, or try and accomplish proves to yourself that you can do. Some parts of your life have taken a detour and gone walk about (God only knows when they will return). But even a baby step forward leads to confidence to take another.

 I challenge myself each and every day. Some mornings, it's a challenge to get out of bed, but I do it. That is an accomplishment to feel good about. To keep that victorious feeling going, I accept, even look for it, another challenge. Today for me is making a pharmacy run and go to Walmart for some items. I hate shopping at Walmart! Too big, too many people and a necessary trip. This is a major accomplishment. But that's not all. Today, I'm stepping  out of my comfort zone and raw packing beef stew into canning jars. I've never done this before. I've only hot packed this. Wish me luck.

Nothing is impossible.

Sunday Stroke Survival: Relearning Something New

As time goes on living post stroke, as survivors, we are constantly relearning something to stretch the envelop of our boundaries. Life is not lived in a stagnant vacuum. Unless you want it to be.

Initially, you relearn the basic stuff (walking, talking, bathroom) because it's well basic stuff that allows you to be an adult again and have some moderate control in your life. Having control is powerful. But relearning, is tough and that's an understatement. It will make you angry, frustrated, and feel like quitting. But the alternative is worse for your sense self worth and self image.

I guess that's my real blessings in my post stroke recovery process, my stubbornness and pushing the envelop have always been my blessing/curse. I believe in living an EXTRAordinary life in spite of what life dishes out. I pray for the same for you. I am also well versed in thinking outside the box as any good writer is. All my life experiences, although very challenging, has stood me well.

This week's challenges had to do with the new angora rabbitry building. While I could just leave it with plain, paper backed insulation, I wanted walls. Not only wall, but waterproof wall that I could spray cleaned when the bucks decided to mark their territory. Even with apple cider vinegar in their water, rabbit urine stinks...think aged, but diluted cat urine.

Mel and I went to the Habitat for Humanity ReStore last weekend and happened upon plastic, florescent light covers.The ReStore is always our first stop in searching for anything. The proceeds go to a good cause and what I really love is that it's cheaper. Both Mel and I saw these two CASES of light covers (50 2x4 panels) and you could see the light bulb blinking over our heads...waterproof walls!

We also got a kitchen sink and counter tops for the butchering station and a work surface inside the rabbitry. We also got a few odds and ends for the homestead. I walked away with everything for under $75. Keep in mind that these light panel covers sell in the regular large box stores for $175 for 20, I got 50 of them for $45. I think we did pretty well in the "get it cheaper" department. Heck, one of boxes was still in a sealed. The other one was opened so you could see what was inside.

The light panels are fine they way they are. But it wouldn't be me if I left them plain. I noticed while on side was textured the other side and was smooth. Yes, very easy clean up with the smooth surface out. But, I couldn't leave well enough alone, could I? Being this EXTRAordinary person and all. Remember, I once laid an intricate a mosaic patterned floor in my storeroom in my other house. We needed color in our rabbitry especially since we would be spending greater than a few hours grooming our angora rabbits in there. People often discount the value of color in the work space. Be assured, I never do.

So how do I break up the frosted, whitish clear light panels to add color? I knew this would be a challenge being left with only my left damaged hand to work with. What could I do that didn't involve fine motor skills. In the old days, I would have painted murals on the walls and ceilings tiles. I just don't have that kind of dexterity in my left hand. It still had to be waterproof too. I could just glue the panels up and then roller paint the whole thing, but then choosing one or two paint colors that we both liked was problematic.  Besides, it's boring!

Then I remembered stencils. You didn't have to be exact with that. I could just pounce color on. If I used acrylic paints, it would be waterproof. But what design? There's as many stencil designs as one could imagine. I fell into creative mode and it really felt great!

As usual, I brain stormed the issue. Our homestead is cockeyed. That's why we call it the Cockeyed Homestead. Both of us are constantly thinking outside the box.
We are...
1.  Quirky to the point of whimsical.
2. It is a rabbitry not our living area.
Simple is better if I'm doing it, and neither of us is into elaborate, extremely elegant.
Colorful, but not distractingly so.
It needs to show up well on videos.

What do you think?

Well, I Googled images for inspiration. I ran across an appliqued quilt pattern that fit the bill. It will be perfect for the rabbitry. It's an easy design and I can make the bunnies different colors while the hearts stay red and the inside of the ears can be a lighter shade of the bunny. The inside of the ear is the tear drop shape you see in the picture. I printed out the picture making it standard paper size and transferred it onto cardboard. Yes, I know they make plain stencil sheets, but I have an abundance of cardboard since the move up here and it's free. Hello! Nothing is cheaper than free. I had Mel cut them out because I still don't do well with curvy cuts with scissors or in this case an Xacto knife.

From a coloring book

To fill in some of the blank spaces I use 4" carrots. It's just another pop of color. I positioned the rabbits (3 to a panel) sort of straight. I'm cockeyed in more ways than one. I turned the carrots this way and that in the blank spaces. Not so many that the panel appeared too busy. She asked why I was stenciling the panels behind the cages too because nobody will see it. "Doh! So the rabbits have something to look at. LOL!"

I'm just having fun relearning how to paint again. Although I never used stencils much (I preferred free handing it) before my strokes, I'm enjoying the creative aspects of this now. Just like using a loom to knit. Living post stroke is all about adapting to the changes of circumstances and doing. By choosing acrylic paints, soap and water removes all my mistakes before the paints dry. All I needed was a basic primary (8 colors) set of paints. Although I did buy a larger white and black paint to blend with. I outlined the designs with black Sharpie to make them pop. Oh all right, I had Mel do it because she has a steadier hand. But to see the finished product, you'll just have to watch the video which should be posted next week over on the Cockeyed Homestead YouTube channel.


Remember...

Nothing is impossible.

Wednesaday Writerly Ways ~Negative Comments

How do negative comments or reviews affect you? I've had my share of raves and stinkers.

If any of the words in the picture describe the way you feel...STOP IT RIGHT NOW!

Here's how...

• Consider the source. Maybe they are having a bad week, month, year, or life. Just like there are basically upbeat people in this world; there are those who have a destructive negative view in all things. A perpetual glass half full type person. Take a gander at other opinions/reviews they've left.

• It is just one opinion. Everyone has an opinion on something they've read or seen. It is up to you to decide whether it is fact or bull hockey pucks. My mother used to say opinions are like butt holes. Everyone has one. Is one opinion or comment because it is voiced more important than a hundred favorable opinions/comments because it isn't voiced? Nope.

• Giving a negative opinion more power than it deserves. I feel we are all guilty of this in some respect. We want everyone to love our writing unconditionally. The fact is only one person was capable of that kind of love and now He is in heaven.  We'll stew about the negative until it becomes unhealthy.

• Whomever screams the loudest is right. Wrong. I'm not getting political here, but this is a prime example. Have you ever seen an abortion picket line? On one side you have the pro-lifers and on the other you have the pro-choicers. Both have an belief and feel justified. Neither is right or wrong in their choice of beliefs. It is their choice trying to impose their beliefs on others. To impose one's beliefs on anyone is wrong. 

 The fact is you cannot buffer yourself against the negative reactions/ comments/ reviews. You can only hope for positive  comments/ reviews on your work. The only way you avoid all negatives is live under a rock and not publish your book. That just isn't an option for me, is it for you?

As a writer, the only thing can do is write the best book you can, try to consider the things above, and move on. Once you publish, your work is out there good or bad. You become a public entity for all to judge the excellent, the good, the bad, and the ugly. My advice... grow a thicker skin beforehand.

So how will you handle negative comments/reviews from now on?

Keep writing and loving the Lord.