Thursday's Tumbles and Stumbles~ The Spoons of Energy

This blog is to show you not everything is hunky-Dorie in the land of the Murphey Saga. We face real issues just like most of y'all. We are human, not superhuman. We tumble and stumble through our lives. It is not a pity plea so please do not take it as such. It's just an illustration. Most of the emails I receive have basically been, OMG!, How do you do it?, and I have such admiration... Be aware that I don't write this for admiration. It's more or less write to show you you are not alone in this life.

I need a shower something awful. It's been weeks of birdy baths( quickie sponge baths). I

Notice these are teaspoons not tablespoon

have to look at what I have to do each and every morning. This chronic fatigue I've had since my first stroke has been a killer. And then, I look at how much energy each task is going to take. It's always a juggling match of what has to be done and what should be done. A shower is something I cheat and pass on because it totally wipes out three energy spoons between getting undressed, taking a shower, and getting dressed. Three spoons of energy is important when looking at at the most thirteen spoons worth of energy per day. Pictured are 12 spoons, but I gain an extra spoon with a two-hour nap.

Let's do the math everyone...

• I know the care of my husband during the day will take four spoons. 
• Fixing and eating meals can run two to three spoons a day depending on how much I have to prepare before cooking. 
• Care of my animals (cats, dogs, Guinea pig, and rabbits) will take another spoon if it's not a grooming or cage clean out day. If it's a grooming day or clean out day = 2 spoons.
• Hospice visits. Sometimes three a day one spoon.

I'm already up to EIGHT spoons out of twelve gone and I really haven't done anything yet and I took the minimum of each. I've got four to five left for the rest of the day.

Now add in or subtract...

• Therapy days-twice a week= Occupational therapy 1 spoon for each session.
• Grocery shopping= 2 spoons because I have to make a list, shop, and then bring the groceries in and put them away. It's really closer to three.
• Any other shopping like yarn, clothes, appliances, etc =an easy 2-3. Stores are huge!
• Each doctor appointments = a good one spoon if not two. Botox is definitely a 2 and my heart doctor is closer to 1 1/2 because of lab work I have to get before my appointment.
• Dropping off and picking up laundry= 1 spoon that's even with putting the folded clothes away. Now, if I did my own laundry= 3 spoons.
• Picking up take-out from a restaurant, even Mickey D's =1 spoon.
• Sweeping, vacuuming, dishes, dusting...you know, housework = an easy 2+ because the size of my house. I'd like to hire a housekeeper, but can't afford one.
• My every Wednesday Night Knitting group = 1 spoon.
• My once a month Stroke group = 1 spoon.
• Knitting or spinning wool= 1 spoon.
• Spending quality time with one grandchild = 1 spoon. I have eight.

Now, you see the actual juggling part. But there's a hitch in the twelve spoons of energy theory. Getting twelve spoons of energy is based on a good night's sleep (8-12 hours). I'm waking every two-four hours to administer morphine to my DH (darling hubby). If I do that twice a night that takes away one spoon easy before I even start my day.

No wonder I'm so exhausted all of the time! That's even without a bath.Yes, my kids were nice enough to install a walk-in tub the second Father's Day after my stroke, but I rarely have the time to really soak in it. The best I can do is stare longingly at it when I take a minute to go pee, or change my own diaper, or washing out urinals most times.

The last time I had a shower? Er, um, let me think...two weeks ago when my #1 daughter came for a visit. That sounds horrible doesn't it? But it's my cheat to make my short supply of energy last. I often said watching my growing kids or grandchildren, "I wish I could bottle their energy."

Wouldn't that truly be a blessing.

What has been your tumble or stumble during the week?

Wednesday Writerly Way ~ Determination to be an Author

Oops, I forgot it's Indie Life Day!

A writer friend of mine has a blog where he reviews and
posts on a variety of subjects. Malcolm Campbell has always had a witty point of view. So I ran across this on his blog and decided to share it here.

For those of you going through the query and rejection stage of publishing  You are not alone. HERE's the list. The most notable is the beloved Dr. Seuss. I was amazed at the comments that were given for the rejections because now in retrospective- it's a moot point.

The point is...the author didn't give up on their efforts. One author got 79 rejections before they finally sold their manuscript.

I can remember one author who lightning struck in reverse, like me, who got a publisher with contracts in hand and recommending agents in the past two decades. That other author is Jack McDevitt. But then he's been in publishing as long as I have. But Jack had been querying publishers after a long search for an agent.

What's an agent going to do when you tell them that TOR (or in my case Doubleday) has recommended them? Snatch them up, of course. It's almost guaranteed cash in the bank. Admittedly, this is backwards of what it's really like being an author submitting to an agent. Nowaday, you have to go through the agent gatekeeper first.

On a side note...I got a call last week from one of my old agents about the projected completion date on my new WIP, Don't Get Your Panties in a Wad.

Projected completion date? I've just spent two month NOT writing and dealing with my life. All I could answer was, "I dunno." Not very professional I know, but it was an honest answer. I haven't even made the decision to traditionally publish the book yet. Jokingly, I answered, "Never." Needless to say she didn't take it so well. I basically told her,  "Don't call me. I'll call you." Agents hate that so I might be in the market for another one eventually because I'll tell the other agent the same thing. If I traditionally publish this book. I've got to finish the rough 1st draft first.

This was one of the major reasons I've temporarily stopped traditionally publishing. I didn't need the added pressure. I used to only blog about my books when they were in their final editing stages and I changed tactics with this one because my stroke recovery is current and ongoing. Readers wanted to know what was going on in my life and my stroke recovery is up front in my focus right now. At the time it seemed like a logical decision.

You may have noticed I no longer post snips of this book on my blog. That's the reason why. It was garnering too much attention from agents and editors alike. I'm determined, yes, but not that determined. Once upon a time, I could handle set in stone deadlines, but that's not the case now. It takes the joy of writing away. Let's face it. I am are more apt to do what is pleasurable to do than what I am are forced to do. Hey, I'm human. When I am struggling to accomplish it during recovery in the first place, joy is important.

So why is determination essential to the author?

• To plow your way through from beginning to end of a manuscript takes determination. 
• To edit until you are bleary eyed and want to chuck the whole manuscript and not takes determination. 
• To believe that your book has merit and deserves to be published takes determination. 
• To get stacks of rejection letters and keep on searching for an agent takes determination. 
• When the quest for publication stretches into the years mark takes determination.

Do you have the determination to be 

a published author?

Keep writing and loving the Lord.