Sunday Stroke Survival: Making Do and Getting Help ~ Ranting

It really irks me to no end when I have to ask for help for something I used to be able to do before my strokes. When I was sixteen I rebuilt my first automobile engine. By thirty, I could rewire a house and do major plumbing repairs and installations. It helps being the daughter and sister of a certified electrician, plumber and welder (my dad) and four brothers who are H&A installer/repair. I watched and learned. They even taught me hands on. Having a contractor son in law and being a lay carpenter was added to my skill set. There was not much I couldn't build or repair. Then my stroke changed all of that.

I mean pre-stroke, I could literally do it all. A Jill of all trades. Just like my father was Jack. Now, I have to call someone to do it because I can't safely. You know me. I'm not opposed to taking some risks. I almost relish it. Now, living post stroke everything is weighed against safety versus doing. If it were just a matter of falling, it would be no big deal. Heck I've done that too many times. Only some have been mentioned here. Ya, ya, I'm getting older too. But it really irritates me to have to pay someone else to do something I know how to do. This is life living post stroke and I dislike it intensely.

I just received the estimate on the new driveway. It is actually cheaper by several grand than I estimated. I'll admit this is one area that it's cheaper and easier to have someone else do it. I didn't relish the idea of moving and spreading 120 tons of gravel. I don't know anyone who would if they had a choice.That much rock is hard to imagine much less put it where it needs to go. I mean two tons of pea gravel didn't seem like much when I built my shade garden at my old place, but I did it. Er, um twenty years ago.Ten years is a whole lot of age on this body now. The young man who owns the company was eager to please and I'm happy I chose him for this project.

But the electrician and plumber? I mean really? This is what gets me. I could have trenched, laid pipe, and done all this electrical stuff myself if I had a working body. What I wanted were easy tasks. Instead, I'm paying someone else $65 an hour to do it. It's killing me. I'm talking their language, because I've done it all before. My father and I even dug a shallow well, connected the pump, and set up the sprinklers in their 1/4 acre garden. It's not rocket science, it's only manual labor. I've never been afraid of a little hard work.I'm still not.

My driver's side door handle broke off. It literally broke off in my hand as I went to get into my minivan two weeks ago. I, of course, landed on a thick grassy area beside the driveway with the most padded part of my body still holding onto the plastic part. Nothing hurt but my pride. Then came the ordeal of climbing in through the passenger side, around the engine hub, and into the driver's seat before I could go anywhere. With the outside handle broken, I go through this ordeal every time I drive. Getting out from inside is no problem. I just leave the window open when I get where I'm going to reach in and open the door. Of course, I'm saying a quick prayer it doesn't rain while I'm inside wherever I'm going.

How hard is it to change an automobile's door handle? Pfft! It's a no brainer. Pull the door panel, disconnect and reconnect a couple of wire (electronic everything in the door) and a couple of screws. Except I can't finagle my body to do it. I did try. I had to call someone else to fix it. No mechanic or parts store in town had a replacement handle.  Worse yet, the closest Toyota dealership was three towns over. I made an appointment with them to replace the door handle. I get there as scheduled only to find the handle is on back order and wouldn't be in the dealership for two weeks. So in the meantime, I was stuck with going into my vehicle from the passenger side. To add insult to injury, the charge for the handle and for the labor to install it...$322!

Talk about add on expense to having a stroke. I could watch millions of dollars (if I had it) trickle away just because I can't do any more. I make do and do what I can, but when I can't because my body won't let me is ridiculous! I'm just ranting here because I can. Call it the hidden cost of living post stroke. If I was an ordinary person without my skill set, it wouldn't bother me so bad. But I've never been ordinary.

Nothing is impossible.

But in this case improbable.

After a Stroke~ It's the Little Things That Irritate

After a stroke attempting to do anything "normal" is grounds for frustration. I've talked about quite a few on this blog. I got around washing dishes (because we use so few) by doing them in the bathroom sink.

The Problem
For two years, I've been asking OTs for a solution for washing glasses by hand. It took this month to find an answer that works and it was mine. Inside of the glasses... no problem, but the outside...woah, Nellie!

I was so-o-o-o-o frustrated I was even looking at replacing my 16 oz glasses that I bought a month before my stroke for some square ones just so I could wash the outsides more easily. Not to mention that I've broken 8 out of 12 just trying to wash them. Four glasses are plenty for the two of us. If more than four are needed there is always paper or plastic, or a coffee mug.

I tried everything. Nonslip pads, towels bunched up and rolled, and even using other dishes to semi hold the glass in place while I washed the outside of the glass. Let's face it the shape is rounded and it rolls, and worse yet it's slippery especially with soap and water on it. You end up washing half a glass's outside over and over again. The other side, not so much. It just irritated me. I could wash an entire kitchen sink full of dishes one handed, including silverware, in the time it took me to wash one, stinking glass. But I refuse to drink most of my drinks in those one serving containers, but prefer a glass.

The Solution

So my new-ish OT were talking about this problem. We were bouncing ideas off each other. Most of hers, I'd tried and failed (broke the glass or failed to get it clean). They must teach these in OT school or something. I told her what I needed was one of those thing-a-bobs bartenders used to wash glasses with. It washes both the inside and outside of the glass. The kind that suctioned cup to the bottom of the sink.

She pulled out the adaptability supply catalog and nothing of the sort was offered.  Then the light bulb went off in my head. I was an executive chef once upon a time and still got restaurant supply catalogs. They were priced between $45-$65. I never thought of it as sticker shock when I was buying supplies for the restaurants I worked for. But now, my mouth hit the floor. Kind of steep in price. But I was frustrated enough to start rolling pennies again. Heck, I'd have to roll pennies again for new glasses too.

Well, Saturday, my grandsons came over to do the yard work so I had time to go shopping. Not the know what you are going to buy and shop, but look around and search type shopping. I had to go out and find some smaller shirts for my husband anyhow. Might as well look for brushes I could convert into a glasses brush like the one pictured above.

My shopping was done at thrift stores like church stores, Goodwill, and Salvation Army. Just because something is second hand doesn't mean it's trash. Most of the clothing has been gently used. I don't want to invest a lot of money into my husband's shirts. He just has lost so much weight that his regular medium shirts looked like XXL on him. Granted his rib cage is still the same size but there's no fat or muscle padding them. Men do have their egos and vanity to consider. I've learned to tread very lightly on them.

While looking through the odds and ends, what do you think I found. You guessed it. AND for $2.99! Well within my price range. So I bought him one less shirt than I originally planned. I still bought five, button down, dress shirts. The aides hate having to button the buttons but he hates polo shirts and t-shirts.

Polder is not a top of the line brand of bartender equipment, but it will do for my purposes. Replacement brushes are anywhere between $15 to $32 depending on where I get them if I need them. It's still cheaper than the models I was looking at brand new. So still it's a win-win situation.

The other thing I found that is a real godsend is the handle scrubbers(palm scrubbers by O Cedar). They come in nylon, steel, and copper. I've even found them at the Dollar Tree, the local dollar store. Needless to say, I buy them there now. It sure beats $3.99 at the grocery store.

I still have my dishrags for therapy, elbow extension

Shamelessly fishing for compliments :)

exercises, while cleaning my counters. It sure saves my finger nails and cuticles too. Not that I'm into fashion nails or polish, nor the glamorous life. Torn finger nails and cuticles are just painful. Cute, huh? Why thank you. I made them.

Living post stroke is a daily challenge at the very least. But with a little brainstorming, feedback, and some ingenious inventor out there, it can be done.

Nothing is impossible with determination.