Botox is In!!

 The Botox injections are in and working. Or at least, beginning to. The pressure on my ankle pulling it to the inward and downward spasms are lessening. Now, I just need to get into physical therapy to get some gains to combat the post stroke spasticity. It will means Tens application, physical stretching, exercises, and yes, even dry needling to make it all happen.

The things we go through trying to recover what we lost. Or, for me, to recover what the spasticity has taken away because I was well on my way towards recovering my arm and hand function when the spasticity gradually took it all away again. Darn post stroke complications or side effects. I could play woulda, coulda, shoulda until the cows come home... if I had some to begin with. But it doesn't change the facts. It is and I have to get it back.

Rebecca over at Home After A Stroke and Dean over at Dean's Musings have posted over and over about how many repetitions it takes to recover. Both have been at this longer than I have. The amount is staggering, but none of us quit. We're all working toward recovering.  So, once again I'll get ready to get up and go. In the hope of strengthening my tricep, extensor muscles and my ankle enough before the Botox begins to wane. The spasticity won't pull me over the abyss into full fledge painful contortions again.

This I can fight. The fight for a PCP and endo will have to wait for days between therapy sessions. I'm picking the battles I can almost win. I waited for the painful cramps during the six months of doctor scheduling. The didn't occur until the week before my Botox injections. That's a positive because normally they would have started the week before my three month Botox injections. I'm not discounting God's Grace in all of this either. I've been thanking and praising Him for weeks now. 

  Nothing is impossible.

Sunday Stroke Survival: Weather, Tornados, and The Three Little Pigs

I'll bet the weird title made you click on it thinking, What in the world is going on now? If you think about what these things have in common, you'd think of strong winds. You'd be partially right. Or, I could be spouting a lot of hot air in a windy, winding, wordy sort of way. Keep reading.

In the past several weeks, Mother Nature has been in PMS mode. April showers begins May flowers, but it's only February. Surrounding counties as well as ours have been under daily flash flood warnings.  I'm not worried yet. Our creek is 600 ft below us. Now if that threatens to flood us, we better have an ark!

This has been the strangest winter on record. One it's in almost 70 degrees with torrential rains, and the next day brought eight inches of snow! Followed by the next day with 60 degree temps and rain with flash flood warnings. We haven't had two days of sunshine in a row in two months. On the days the sun does appear, we've been hit with wind gusts in excess of 50 miles an hour!

I'll bet you  are wondering what this weather report has to do with post stroke recovery or living post stroke. I dunno, I'm just writing. Let's see where it takes us. There has to be intersecting lines somewhere, right? Not really I know where I'm going. Doh! You know me better.

Having a stroke is a big blow to everyone including you. Your family is affected just as much as you in different ways except one. All concerned and you. want you to recover as much as possible fast. If they are as close knitted group like mine, they rejoice with your successes, be cheer leading from the side lines, and knock you over with kindness for a time. My terminally ill husband was a prime example of the latter. He literally shortened his already short life expectancy in the first six months trying to help me or do for me. Not because I asked him to, just the opposite, but that was the way he was. It worried him to no end when he could no longer be my loving husband and a total patient sliding into home.

The second thing that comes to mind is the chaos factor and effect. From the beginning, your whole world has been through a tornado and what's worse, you are trying to decipher what happened with a brain that is damaged and in shock. What worked doesn't and you can't understand why. You are praying it's just a nightmare you'll awaken from, but you don't.

A roll of the dice and you could be one of the lucky ones and recover all in that golden 30 days...unlikely, but it does happen. Another roll of the dice and you reach the 100% recovery goal in six months. I say, it's a roll of the dice because that's what it is. Ir isn't how hard you work at recovery or most of us would have 100% recovery. I know I would have. I spent every waking moment visualizing and exercising my affected side while strengthening my functioning side. I willed my arm, elbow, wrist, and fingers to move. I had minimal success within the first six months. Bur in the end, the high tone that I fought since day 1 after my first stroke and escalated into rigid spasticity won out. Well, that's not true, I'm still fighting it by any means possible.

I've faced many such tornadoes of chaos before and after my first stroke. I wish I could say sifting through the rubble of my old life doesn't get easier with repetition. At times, I feel like the three little pigs against the wolf. Except there's no third pig with a house of brick. Or, I never reach that level of a completed brick house before it blows my house down mid construction.

I stay in the reconstruction zone and it can drive me nuts! Having to live post stroke is an everlasting do over for me, or it seems to be. It is for me, when another stroke or health issues sets me back to almost square one like my urinary control issues I'm going through now. But I'm fighting my way back to my new old normalcy... to get back to using regular menstrual pads just in case. It's a viscous cycle of do overs, I'm going through or blows.

But still, I'm still fighting the big blows that come down the pike because...

 I'm too mean to die. Too stubborn to give up. And most important, I'm in God's Hands!

Nothing is impossible.

New Release~Stroke After Stroke: A Rower's Pilgrimage by Barbara Polan

One of our stroke tribe has written a new book! Stand up an take a bow Barbara (Barb) Polan. Welcome to to world of publishing, Barb. You're in good company. Can you tell that I'm excited for her?

• Title: Stroke After Stroke: a rower's pilgrimage
• File Size: 5062 KB
• Print Length: 131 pages
• Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
• Language: English
• ASIN: B00NDF3BH8
• Price: $4.99

Available in Kindle version
Paperback coming soon

Amazon Description

Stroke After Stroke is the personal story of a recreational gig rower who survived a stroke at age 52, and of her relentless pursuit of recovering from the resulting hemiparesis (the loss of the use of her left side) even 5 years later, despite the medical establishment's stance that recovery for her has already ended.
Based on the blog she started 6 weeks post-stroke, the book chronicles how Barbara Polan has faced the losses concomitant with her injury, and the struggles of incorporating current recovery therapies into her attempts to resume her pre-stroke life. In the process, she re-shapes her new life into one that better suits her.
She has written the book she had hoped to read immediately after having a stroke.
Barbara has first-hand experience with the relentless repetition needed to establish new neural pathways that are needed to regain lost functions, and promotes investigation and optimism as necessary ingredients in any recovery. In addition, she offers helpful information and insight into the logistics and the emotional reality of survivors' altered lives, along with helping survivors understand that they are not alone.
This book will be appreciated by anyone whose life has been affected by stroke - survivors and their caregivers, family members and friends. 

 ~*~

This is her first published book. Let's wish her well and much success. Run. Don't walk and grab your copy today. She's already got 1 Five star review on this masterpiece.

Amazon.com  for the book

Contact info to find out about Barb:

Her blog

Facebook

LinkedIn

Exercise After a Stroke

This was forwarded to me by my local stroke group, Brain Reconnect. When you are in hospital rehab, they throw fifty million different things at you in the way of exercises. You'd be lucky to remember half of them and they might not be continued by your hometown therapist.

Such was the case with me. While I remembered all the exercises that had to do with my drop foot, and ham string, I forgot the exercise for my Achilles tendon stretches thus I got a contracture of, you guessed it, my Achilles tendon. It's a lot better the prevent it than trying to fix it.

The program is called "Stroke class with Susan" and it is on YouTube. This one exercise would have saved me a lot of pain, built up shoes and AFO modifications.

Anyhow, I've spent the week emailing back and forth with Darren Baxendale, the business manager, about this stroke class. Because it's new and I thought it would be helpful to us stroke survivors.

The website just just touts a free trial with the first session starting tomorrow, 9/10/2014, but it's whenever you can tune in. That is a definite draw for me. Before I fell in love with the class, I wanted to know what it was going to cost me when the free trial ran out.  As tight as our personal finances are, I didn't want to take the chance of losing another thing that could help me.

The answer is...they don't know how much to charge yet. It's an interest gauging type thing so that's why it is a trial. So I signed up for the trial. It is supposed to run weekly so I'll just have to wait and see like everyone else. I just hope I can swing it because if nothing else, it might add some oomph to my routine. I'm always looking for new ways to do stuff, aren't you?

All the videos will run like the one above and be more involved. Hopefully, Darren will answer the questions I sent him in my last email and I'll get some more information. As I get it, I'll pass it on to you. Maybe even do some PR for them with an interview.

Nothing is impossible with determination.

What a Difference a Week Makes

I don't know why I'm surprised, but each time after the Botox kicks in, I am. I had therapy yesterday. The Botox hasn't kicked in totally because there are still grabs and catches during therapy in the bicep, pectoral, and other muscles in my hemiplegic arm. I mean some hard catches that make me take a sharp intake of breath. The spasticity never truly goes away completely. The spasticity just becomes more manageable.

We were warming up with stretches after the heat packs. I know, I know it should be cold packs, but I'm Abby Normal that way. We've done both, but the hot packs work better.

Now pre- AC joint tear, I had recovered about 85% of my shoulder's range of motion. For the first time in two years, I hit the 85% again. The therapist had my arm over my head in the supine position. Yeah, it was passive motion on my part.  My active range will come later, but for now, it's just stretching. But let me tell you, it hurt so good!

She was surprised, because she's my new therapist and hasn't seen this range from me before. I just wanted to see how far it would actually go before the muscles clenched. Yeah me!

Now for the down side. It only took a couple of hours after therapy before I knew we had pushed too far. Yep, you guessed it. The muscles screamed at me and it was ache and groans upon movement of the arm. I hopped in the shower. Alright, it was more like I sat on the shower chair and pivoted into the shower. I let the scalding hot water pulse the sore muscles away. I did take an extra 4 mgs of Zanaflex too.

I got out and was feeling groggily, content over the achievement I made. Literally drifting on cloud 9 because of the extra dose of muscle relaxer. I went through the rest of the evening in the clouds (read drugged fog). Nothing bothered me. A self satisfied grin firmly painted on my face. I did it!

This morning, there was a residual soreness but nothing like the day before. I'll be ready to do it again. A little bit later, I'll try the stretch again via a Theraband tied to my cannonball bedpost. I won't be as aggressive with myself as yesterday because I want to be in good shape for therapy tomorrow.

I've gotten a number of lengths and colors (resistance strengths) of bands over the years and if I need more, all I have to do is ask. They last forever. I've got some that are ten years old. They have a permanent place of honor in my sock drawer. Why do I keep them, you may ask. I just remember my Mama telling me, "There will always be an again." So far, she hasn't been proven wrong.

Nothing is impossible with determination.

Sunday Stroke Survival~ Perception of Time

Credit

Time is measured the same for everyone in the world... 24 HOURS in a day, 7 DAYS in a week, and 365.25 DAYS in a YEAR. Right?

What's with that? Why are we taught from a young age and everything revolves around time. It's all put in neat, little, compartmentalized boxes of measured units.Time blogs are all abuzz around the stroke tribe so I'll add my quarter's worth here. (It used to be a penny, but with inflation...)


We are taught from a young age...

•  Not to waste time.
• Time is money.
• Time is power.
• Just in time.
• Always waiting for time to do or dreading something.
• It's time for a change.
• You're running out of time.
• It's about time! When you're late.

For stroke survivors it is...

• Time is brain.
• 2-4 hours to administer tPa from the onset of your stroke for the optimum recovery... Whatever that is.
• If you don't recover a loss by the first 30 days, recovery is measured in months.
• If you don't recover in the golden first 6 months, recovery is nonexistent or measured in years. Yes even decades.
• Forever (yes, this is time too) as is never (another measure of time) to recovery.

How do we mark time...

• Watches and clocks
• Internal clocks
• Assorted calendars to help us remember important dates and times.
• Alarms go off to remind us.
• Something, anything, to make us keep track of time.

My question to y'all is...WHY? What is so all fired important that we have to mark time like a row of soldiers marching in cadence?  Oops, there's another reference to time. From the day we are born to the moment we die, we are watching the clock. Well, as a small infant, it's actually hunger or comfort that marks time for us.

Whether you do something or not, time continues to pass us by. Time stops for no one. You ever hear that one before?

I mean...

Time flies by

Time flies when we are in good company, or are enjoying ourselves.
"But it was just 9:00. How did it get to be midnight so fast!"
When you are older time moves at a faster pace than when you were younger.
"What it's my birthday again!"

Snail's pace

Remember when you were waiting to turn 16 and drive a car by yourself legally?
How about 21 so you could legally have an alcoholic beverage?
Or that last ten minutes before you get off from work on a Friday with the weekend off?
It went by at a snail's pace, didn't it?

Even a clock with no hands marks time

Time never stands still. It's always in motion. There's no way humanly possible to stop time while alive. It's all about your perception of time. If it wasn't for clocks and calendars everyone would be on their own time schedule sun up to sun down. Oops there's another way of marking time.

My point is this...
Recovery will or won't happen when it wants to. Worrying about what you don't recover doesn't help you recover. I used to be concerned by the passage of time, now I'm not. I guess that happens when you get to be my age and have my faith or point of view. What will happen; will happen or it won't. How long does it take to get from point A to point B is irrelevant. How long it takes is entirely a personal journey.

No, I'm not saying each stroke is different in recovery, but their are certain truths that may or may not apply to recovery. Does it sound like I'm writing in circles? It sure feels that way. It takes two years for damaged nerve cells to regenerate. That's a fact. The brain has the capacity to relearn learned behavior. That also is a fact.

But if strength of will and never ending therapy exercises is the way to recover, I should have recovered everything I lost with my first stroke and my second by now. Because there are very few dyed in the wool, more stubborn, or tenacious stroke survivors out there than I am in my quest to recover. I mean four plus hours a day, seven days a week for two years. There are just no guarantees or program that works for everyone. I honestly wished there was.


So as a stroke survivor or a person in general who focuses on time passing, my advice is this...

• Stop!
• Carpe Quo! Seize the moment!
• Don't compare yourself with others.
• Nobody knows "when or if" it will happen. Because regardless of what you think. It's not your decision it's God's and/or you.
• Be happy the way you are because you could be in a worse situation.
• Go out and enjoy this life you've been given because otherwise you are wasting time!

Nothing is impossible with determination.